A novel idea: let mothers stay home and save the United States

I am torn about this. My mom was a stay at home mom and she made dinner for us every night and we all sat down to eat together. She was home when we got home from school and was available to pick us up if the whether called for it. She helped us with our homework if we needed it. She gave us her individual attention. So, yes...I probably did benefit from that. But, I think that there are parents who don't work (mothers and fathers) but, also don't spend quality time with their kids. They plop them in front of the television or the computer. They kick them out of the house to play until it is dark and then they put them to bed. And, I know one woman who has a 1 and a half year old and a newborn and, hers and her hubby's parents have rotated living with them in their house since the first child's birth and, they hired a nanny about 6 months ago. So, they have never had to rely on just the two of them to take care of their kids. She just went back to work after the birth of her second and, she just really wouldn't even have to live in the house for all the help she has gotten since the birth or her 1 and a half year old child. WTF? Also, it seems to me that there is some kind of misunderstanding that a father can provide nurturing. What about him? It is both the mother's and the father's job to care for and nurture their children. So, I do think you both parents can work once the child or children are in school. As long as you make the best out of all of your time together. It isn't so much work that is causing a problem as it is the person who hasn't figured out how to balance both work and family. I think it is possible to do both. Especially in a day and age where you need to do it that way because of the simple cost of living.

I have personally always said that it would be better for mothers to stay home and raise their children. There would be so many more jobs for men out there, that it would be easier to take care of there children. I think it would not only benefit our children growing up, but would also cut down on divorce rates. I understand women's liberation to a point and some mothers have to work, but when women's Lib took affect our world changed for the worse. a lot of people don't realize how hard a job a mother/wife has taking care of business at home and want to write it off as nothing, but it is a very difficult and time consuming task that needs to be taken on full-time. I think our world would be a much better place if we could go back to the way things were.

That would be great if they could do that. A lot of women want to work but there are a lot who would love to stay home and take care of their family. I don't have any children but I have an elderly mom that I take care of. Fortunately I am able to stay with her now. Not so many people can do that though.

I am with you on this and I agree with most everything you have said. I am a stay at home mom and I wouldn't change it for the world. We are certainly not wealthy but we are rich, and I made sure my daughter knows the difference between wealthy and rich. We live in a small manufactured home, we drive early 90's cars, we shop at Wal-mart and thrift stores, but we have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and clothes to wear. We also have a lot of board games to play together as a family. I am also great at budgeting so I make sure that the bills are paid but that we can still have some goodies like cable and internet and a playstation2 (refurbished not new). We don't have the most glamorous life but we have each other and we laugh a lot and I am here to help my daughter with her homework and make sure she not only knows right from wrong but also make the right choices. I do believe that parents who work can give the same benefits as those who don't but they have to work harder at it, and the sad part is that most parents don't want to really work that hard at it. My daughter goes to a charter school and I have to make more effort as far as school is concerned because there are no buses. I don't mind it, but I know people who do. It kills me to hear a mom say I don't really care for public school but It takes too much effort to send my child to a charter school. That makes me so mad. You should do what is best for your child no matter how much effort is required. ANd yes I do believe that a charter school, if it is the right one, is better than public school. It would be great if there was some way for stay at home parents to get paid even a fraction of what the "job" is actually worth. Even if places just gave discounts for being a stay at home parent. I know utility companies give discounts to senior citizens and disabled people, so why not extend that discount to stay at home parents. It's not just about making enough money to pay the bills, that money could be saved by having lower bills, and the companies could help by giving discounts. Lots of places give student or military discounts, can't they just add a stay at home parent discount. Sadly though, a lot would have to change for it to be easier for a parent to stay home, and I am not sure if it ever will.

I just don't think it is feasible to have all mothers stay home with their children. What about families that cannot be supported on a single income? What about single mothers? I think it is good for children to have a stay at home mom, but it is not necessarily always "better"... I don't know. I don't care much for kids, so I am no expert. I just wonder why they don't say fathers should stay at home instead?

I am also a woman, so I know what you mean and I know you aren't being sexist. I was 18 when I had my first baby. She was premature, spent the 1st 4 months of her life in the hospital. I got married 1 month after she came home, and I was already pregnant with my 2nd child. (yes I know) My husband worked on the road for the 1st 3 years of their lives. I stayed home and raised them (I am not sure how I am still sane) They are 11 months and 2 days apart. It was VERY rough, but very rewarding. It was only when I realized I was depressed and NEEDED to get a job (for my sanity) did I put them in daycare. They were 4 and 3. They were ALWAYS sick when they were there, so I had to quit my job and go back to them. But I was there early on to teach them right from wrong, I gave them a a conscience. When they wronged someone else "sorry" didn't cut it. I made them look the other person in the eyes and say "I am sorry I hit you" (or whatever) That made them aware that other people had feelings. That being said, I was not perfect (who is?) I had so much LESS patience than I do today. When I look back, (hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20) There are SO MANY things I would have done differently. But being a stay-at-home mom, was not one of them. Today, my teens are the BEST kids you could hope for. They are respectful (mostly) get good grades in school, my son has a job (his co-workers ADORE him) My daughter is an a/b student, looking to go to college. This is all because I chose NOT to let the daycares system raise my kids. Times are ROUGH now, it has become harder and harder for 1 parent to stay home while the other works. For this, I do not judge the parents if they have to use a daycare. But like you said, if the parents work just for personal luxuries so much that their kids get tossed aside... I STILL do not judge, but I feel badly for the kids and the "entitlement" they feel they deserve in the futer. Great discussion! (by the way I know your aren't being judgmental either )

I have been lucky enough to be at home for a good 5 years now. If only I could stay home another 2 years it would be great, but we do need the money. I am hopefully going to be able to do what I need to do to help the family and still be at home. I can be flexible with my job but working very hard to build a business with insurance sales. it will happen and i know for me, and my husband our children will be successful.

I agree with you. I had the great fortune to stay home until 1st grade. Now at 14, I have to work because I am divorced and I would never take the ex for a ride, he pays his support and he also has a household. So I work but make sure I can still attend activities, sports, music etc. I would tell all mothers of young children, cut back, stay home and know your children. Take the time now or bail them out of jail later!

i also enjoyed my time while i was at home raising my daughters and i have to agree with you, but unless women get paid for staying home, many would not want to...what it comes down to is staying home, which means less money, which means less 'things' and being content with what you have.

In my family, my husband and I both work, not because we want to, but because we have to in order to pay the bills. We don't have a lot of extravegant things. I suppose the most extravegant we have is the internet, a DSL line at that. It's bundled with our home phone so that we can save a little money on the cost. We have a 1999 mini van that is completly paid for. We don't have cable or satellite dish. The bills we pay are the run of the mill, getting through life kind of bills. This being said, I work nights and weekends so that my husband is home with our kids when I am not here. My older son is special needs and someone needs to be able to pick him up from school. If I worked during the day, that wouldn't go over well, not to mention the cost of daycare for him and our younger son, who is only 2. For quite a while I didn't work. It was very stressful for us financially, and I felt very closed off from other people. As soon as my husband would get home, I'd run out the door to go do a list of errands, just to be out of the house. If I could get a job working from home and making a decent wage, similar to what I make now outside the home, I'd do it. However I have been unable to find anything like that.

What would single women do? I do not have children to support, but I do have a house, a car, and many bills that need paid. I just don't think this will happen. For one thing, I know a lot of men that would never be able to support their family. We just live in a different time. It is a nice idea, but I don't think it will happen in our lifetime.

I think that this is a great "olden day" concept that we need to try to get back to but what we need toremember is that generations of old who lived with only one parent working were not as greedy for the luxuries in life and therefore could get by on one wage. I fully agree that if only one parent worked there would be an increase in jobs for those needing them. When women were encouraged to work away from home employers would have ben delighted for many reasons. More unemployment was created meaning wages could be held down at low levels. Women could be paid less as they tend not to be as "bolshy" as men. I think we are too far down the track to go back to the past as we have created a situation now where, in most cases, both parents have to work to cover the bills. A brave government could look at maybe paying one partner to stay home where they would play an important social role raising the kids. This would free up their job for another person and save the welfare payment. Most importantly though, Why do you feel that mum should stay home? In many cases surely the male could choose to do this especially if the wife had the better earning power.

I had to said it depend. If the husband had a steady job with money enough for the family and the children education , the wife should stay home. But what if the husband salary just didnot enough? These days all things are expensive specially childrean education. I am shocked to learn how much they charge this day. at my time, in high school, we only pay 3 dollar a month, now my niece had to pay 20 dollar or more a month and she only in kindergarden. Granted, thats 3 dollar price was 15 years ago. So I had to said, I am fifty fifty about mother stay at home.

This is a very interesting and highly debatable topic. I am not a mother, but my mother chose to trade her profession in the working world before I was born to raise my brothers and I. And there are a lot of positives and it can be more economical for mothers to stay home, as my family has provided examples to this topic. One of my brothers has a wife who works outside the home. And they have three children who are involved with every sport imaginable. My brother had to take a second job to pay for such added expenses. And the summer months are jammed with ball games and practices. Now considering how expensive children are to begin with and the daycare costs during the summer months, they have to have a 2 income home. And my sister in law has pointed out many times that it may be cheaper for her to stay home. But it is her income that is the highest, so it would be risky. Now my other brother's wife is a stay at home mom. They have two children who are homeschooled and are active in activities through the home school program/groups. My brother is the one with a solid income and because my sister in law stays home to teach their children they are able to save money by cutting out daycare, cutting down on education costs and managing the household. Both have said how hard it is either way. But ironically my brother with the stay at home mom has found a way to live comfortably with an Emergency fund and is able to still cough up the extra dough for his kids extracuricular activity. Not to mention his daughter has excelled in her studies and not even a teen yet taking adult art classes. Both of them have well adjusted children who are intelligent and active. But their parents are very involved in their lives and make one on one time with their children a priority. Being from a household where my mother stayed home I can tell you it was wonderful. My mother was the hardest working person you would ever meet raising us with health complications. After asking her what her thoughts were on this subject she said it would be better for the children. But it has to be well planned out for financial concerns.

Hi dragon54u, I think the truth of what you are suggesting here is self-evident. Mothers are meant to be mothers, and kiddies need mothers. The problem we have, I think, is that the Western culture is entering a period of structural degeneration, as the rich get richer and the rest of us have to slave harder and harder to make ends meet. This is not good - we have a super-wealthy class which is thriving at the expense of everyone else. The super-wealthy control the means of production, and the rest of us work (slave) for them. Why is it that two incomes are now needed to support a household, when way back in the 1970's a single income was more than sufficient? The answer is that we are actually getting POORER with each passing year - but it's all been enveloped in misinformation, smoke and mirrors. So generally speaking, now mothers have to go out and work just like the fathers, if they want to keep a roof over their heads. The mother slaves are being forced to work, as well as the father slaves. Basically, we're being screwed - and all the while, living with the delusion that our gadgets and shiny cars and home entertainment systems somehow mean we're better off. There's possibly a difference in the way that things are panning out in each Western country, but the results seem to be pretty much uniform - a HUGE decline in the standard of living since the 1970's, so that now we need two jobs to pay for the basic necessities of life. A rational response to this situation might be for a FOUR-adult household instead of just two, with combination of their kiddies into one big happy family. Then maybe TWO daddies might be able to pay the bills for ONE house, with TWO mummies holding the fort at home. I'd be pretty comfortable with that. I'd be even more comfortable seeing the fascists at the top strung up on lamp posts and return of economic power to the general population. No doubt that will come in good time - these things do seem to go in cycles of 60 years or so.

I don't see a problem with being a working mom. I still pay attention to my kids. Granted my house is a bit of a mess but it was when I stayed home too. I need to get out of the house a bit every day for my mental health. I only work 4-6 hours a day though. I don't think working full time would work for us.