Would you adopt an "ugly child" or a child with a disability/disease?

Once again, I agree with both of you!

Sherry, It is always great to hear people say this, we all have a blessing in life they are all just different ones. after all if we all had the same ones it would no longer be a blessing.

Most of the many children I want to adopt from the ones I've seen would be called undesirable. Most are older - breaks my heart to read how sad they get and how much they want a forever home and a parent or parents to love them unconditionally. I think its so sad that you can't adopt when single. So they'd rather these children just never have a home rather then give them to a single mom or dad? That's so sad and so wrong. That is truly ugly.

I happen to be in the profession dealing with mentally and physically challenged and just so everyone knows. Not everyone can deal with these issues. What we don't know we fear. Children with disabilites do have problems but they are problems that can be worked with and nutured and the child can be taught to overcome most of them. I think that is a very fair question some people are not capable of dealing with such disabilities and that doesnt make them problem people. Oh and I do disagree,there are "ugly" babies the same as there are to many people ugly people. Please tell me you havent seen a child with a big head or thier eyes are too close, okay not as much ugly as different. When my fourth daughter was born I was the first one to say she was ugly, she had spock ears, purple hands and feet and orange cheeks. Today she is my swan. I do not think this post was made to be mean just how one thinks. Maybe change the word ugly to different, for the sake of arguing.

I always love your answers danish! I know its okay to be in disagreement, but on this subject I'm so glad that everyone is in agreement with me! A child with disabilities as others term it is not a problem! If its learning - you find how they learn, if its ADD you adjust - and sometimes change their diet, certain foods - I'm not being simplistic and saying sugar - cause physical and chemical changes. Every child has something to teach us, gifts to give us, just as we have gifts and teachings to impart to them. This is why I so want to adopt to take in these children no one else will - especially older ones - everyone wants the baby. As for the comment about people who use the term geeky having problems - first - geeky has nothing to do with looks - I don't have a problem, geeky means awkward children - and its these children I'm drawn to, the ones I'd like to adopt because others won't. Again, love your answer, glad to see someone else with compassion. As always thank you for participating - its nice to see familiar - er faces - after such a long abscence!

grandmasnook - thanks for your contribution - it is all in the eyes of the beholder, my baby has spock ears kinda and its my absolute favourite thing about him - and there is so much to choose from from his big round black eyes to cute nose...etc... It can be hard for some to deal with, but some open up their hearts and homes and do so. As far as ugly as the world terms them, there are those who will see the light and beauty of their spirits shining through and not see the ugliness. I wonder what made the one responder so angrily write his answers to me? I'm just asking what people would do...others - I know what I want to do, adopt a ton of children and nurture and cherish them and respect them and teach them to treat and see others the same way. Like your daughter I was an ugly duckling as others term it, and GEEKY yes geeky - I use the term, I was socially awkward and different and a little overly intellectual, and I finally turned into a swan - but never saw it - except looking back at old pictures, because it had been drummed into me that I was anything but. Now I still retained my geekiness and I'm proud of it. Its me. Yep geeky geeky geeky, I use the term but don't think I have a problem. Thanks much. I don't want to change it. If someone isn't going to adopt a child because of shallow reasons then ugly is what fits with them. Ugly is the appropriate term, it also fits the person who won't adopt based on that criteria because they don't see the beauty of the true person and likely they are only gauging this based on society's idea of beauty, which doesn't happen to fit my own. Hey and the term ugly got me some great responders who gave beautiful, truly heartfelt responses. So no, even if I could go in and change it I wouldn't for that reason alone. :) + - !

I'm really smiling at these replies. I love to find others who, like me, see the beauty inside. I too agree about choosing a child you're drawn to. Unfortunately, like what's said about pugs (this one is a mystery!) or potato chips, you can't have just one with adoption - whenever I look at adoption pages - and don't ask me why - I always look at the texas heart gallery - I see several that call out to me. Thank you for your candid response! And its true, you need to be able to handle the roller coaster of real parenting, whose to know what a child you bore will turn out, what will happen, you love and cherish them just the same!

I love that quote grannysnook and totally agree! Abortion wouldn't have been an option had they told me that was a real possibility.

Bravo very well said! I never answered the post I just responded to another person posting to it. If I were to adopt I would more than likely be the type of person that would go to the children that I would think would need the love and nuturing that I could give. If there were 10 disabled children I would probably want them all. "I do not have the fear" I would be a great mom for them. It doesnt matter what one looks like the beauty is all inside. I had my fifth child when I was 37 years old my daughter said the ultrasound came back and there was a big chance he could be down syndrome and facing that decision I just looked at him and told him abortion was not an alternative, it didnt matter if he had a foot for his nose he is mine. My doctor just smiled and said I didnt expect to hear anything but that from you. "You have not lived for the day until you do something for someone that can not pay you back"

Then you would one who would as I say in my opener who could adopt a child the world would call "ugly" and see the they had a shining personality and a lovableness - even if hidden at first. Is there any reason why you haven't adopted? Their are many waiting children out there in the world - in the states too, aching for a forever home.

Yes, there are reasons I haven't adopted. That I have the ability to wholeheartedly love an adopted child does NOT compensate for the more earthbound considerations. Time and physical stamina all factor into the decision to not adopt at this point in my life. I have been a parent for 18 years and I know exactly what is involved and I know that I do not have what it takes to raise another child. That ship has sailed.

I think personality matters, I wouldn't want a mean or petty or judgemental child. I have read horror stories of children growing up and killing their biological parents so you just never know. I do very much believe in nurture molding a child, but some kids are just born evil. Born bad as they say. I forgot how much I love your answers suspensful. You always take time to answer the question well. In my research, many times, if its an older child or disabled, the family gets a grant. And most foster and adoptive parents have to go through rigourous home study - in the above board places. You are honest here, of course, we would all like to be able to be blinded to defects, but some aren't and couldn't handle it. Anyway, as always thanks for your reply!

I tell myself the same thing about not being at the right spot. But what is that spot? What if I turn around and its too late to adopt? Nowadays, they give you grants for older kids - and for kids with medical problems. And of course with foster care you're trained and paid. I love that you've worked with those unique children. :)

awww, I bet you would be. Have you looked into adopting or being a foster parent? They train and pay you to be a foster parent and for adopting an older child you can apply for grants.