The man who calls vs the man that does not call.....

Obviously he should have the capacity to manage his own business without resting it one anyone's shoulder - it does not matter much who the person is.

I agree. i don't think he has to call multiple times. But once in a while he could call. There is no reasonn he can't write the number down.

For me, I would find 4 to 5 times or more a bit obsessive. While it's nice to have a loved one call once a day from work, I'd be wondering what their alterior motive was behind keeping such close tabs on me. (Been there...done that lol) When I was married my hubby was kind of like that, then I found out he did it because he didn't trust anybody and he was sure he'd find cheating going on. I never ever cheated in my lifetime, but since the woman he was with before me did, he thought all women did. While on the outside it looked nice and caring, his motive behind it was distrust. Maybe this is not the case with your guy, but I know it was with mine. As far as your father in law goes, maybe he needs a break from his wife and that's the only peace he ever gets. To use an old phrase: nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors...he might have the type of relationship that is totally different than what you think it is. Just my opinion....

Wow, are you sure your MIL didn't marry my ex-husband?! He could never be bothered to call, there were many wonderful gourmet dinners that went to waste because of it. You FIL is a selfish, self-centered man who doesn't care about his wife and looks upon her as his property, much like the jerks who mistreat their animals. He is abusing her emotional through neglect and inconsideration. This is a sensitive subject with your husband so don't confront him all of a sudden if you want it to stop. His calling you so often is probably a reaction to his father's neglect of his mother. At least he loves you! Tell him how much you appreciate his attention and that you wish his father had the same high regard for his mother. That will set him thinking and perhaps spur him into action. If not, repeat it every few weeks. That is, if you want the situation changed and I think you do. And, by telling your husband how much he means to you, he may quit calling so much which I'm sure can be irritating at times. Such frequent calling may be insecurity or it might just be that he loves you bunches! Only you know which it is and that's another subject altogether. Don't expect miracles! You FIL is set in his ways. So is your MIL, she's used to being ignored and treated like a piece of property and might not react well to her husband's grudging attention because he and God-knows-how-many-other-people have trained her to think she's a piece of crap. Be patient, people can change and within a year you may even see some romance blossom! On the other hand, things might not change so don't be disappointed. Expect the best but be prepared for the SOS (same old sh&%).

It looks like your father in law has his son wrapped around his little finger. let him call his wife for heavens sakes.why make his son do his dirty work for him, if he cannot remember a silly phone number then write it down in a phone book. Let him do his own phoning for heaven's sakes.

Hi cream. I think it's sweet what your husband's doing. And I do agree that your father-in-law should not rely too much on your husband. Maybe your father-in-law just doesn't know how to show his affections in public and thus rely on his son to do it for him. If that assumption is wrong and he really doesn't treat his wife right, why would the wife leave him? I think this is a complicated situation wherein you have to have a long talk with your husband or try to approach your father-in-law. I know this may not seem much but I do hope you'll find a solution to this one. ~

Me personally I couldnt handle my husband me calling me multiple times a day. He used to because he would get bored while he was on breaks, lunch driving to and from whereever...but I had to put a stop to. I have stuff to during the day and I cant sit on the phone with him whenever you feels the need. He also knows that if I want or need anything I will call him. With your father in law...not trying to be rude...but what does it really matter if he calls his wife during the day? Does it bother her not to talk to him all the time? If it does then maybe SHE should be the one who says something to him. Some people it just doesnt really bother them if they dont talk to their spouse all the time. Like I said...not trying to be rude...just giving my opinion.

it is actually in the attitude. some persons are just like that. they do not call the wife so much. it also varies with the generations i have seen. my father does not call mom so much. whereas my brother calls sis in law much.

Hi cream97! I am glad too that my husband calls me every now and then when he is away from home. I think your father in law just like bossing around just everyone or he is not really that sensitive kind of guy. Maybe, that is also one of the reason why your mother in law resents her daughter in laws because she could see what she never had in a sweet relationship. Your mil is bitter with the way she is being treated by your father in law. Take Care and God Bless! Happy Mylotting!

If they are just being caring, and not calling every day every chance they get because they think you might be cheating on them or something, I guess it's okay. They don't have to call every day or even a lot, every now and then would be good.

it is not really clear why this happened to your family, every person is unique, meaning we have different attitude and idea with regards to respond a certain thing. like me if i have lots of works to do i can't think any numbers, or the worst is, i don't want to call anybody specially if i am busy. if your father-in-law not concerned of his wife maybe that is his attitude and you can't correct him. i really love my mom i don't want anybody treat her bad specially our in-laws. my mom is lucky enough because all of her in-laws are good.

I must agree with everything you said cream. Even if his excuse is he's not good with numbers, he should make an exception where is wife is concerned and carry the number with him. I think it's a bit inconsiderate to let 12 hours go by and not call once to check up on his wife. And i agree that he should not put his son in the position of having to call his mom for him, that's his responsibility and he should be the one to do it.

I can see both sides of this coin, and have even been on both sides of this coin. Though I do call my wife sometimes from my cellphone when I get the chance it is not a general practice, nor does she expect it. I have seen others get as many as 10 or more calls in a singles shift and even on two phones at the same time. I work in a plant where distractions could very well cost a limb or worse, a life. I have seen some severely distracted because of an argument that had occurred over the phone. The jobs that I have had pretty much require that you leave home issues at the door when you clock in. I also, do not bring work home with me. When I go back out that door, work and its worries and frustrations stay there. If my wife ask, I will tell her the type of day I had and why, but its not mentioned afterwards.

Heya Cream97, I think your father-in-law is pulling his son's leg. I agree with you on this, it's alright for his son to call his mother but not for his father. That is his father's wife. Seems to me the father doesn't treat her right. He doesn't think enough of his own wife to call her, but has to have his son do it for him. That's too bad and it's sad. My heart goes out to Your Mother In Law. I wish her well. Now your husband is playing a part in this, he probably need to tell dad in a nice but firm way that he's not going to call his mother only when he (your Husband) wants to talk to her. It appears to me that dad is taking advantage of his son, your husband. Therefore you husband needs to step aside and show dad with action, that he no longer will be put in the middle of another mans affair. Sorry Dad.

My Fiance calls me all the time! Sometimes more than I want him to. *laughs* It's nice of him to call and check in on me or ask if he needs to pick anything up on the way home from work, but sometimes he just wants to chat and i'm a busy girl! Though, i'd much rather have him call than not call.. that's for sure.