Stay away from your children for higher education?

I wen tt o a trade school but it was in the town we lived in and had my daughter go too so we could work together . we became welders

Well, i think i am in your category... since i opted not to go work abroad anymore just to have a baby... and i did not return to my teaching profession because that type of job means being away from my baby for a long period of time in a day... i also did not go back to finish my Master's Degree since i want to concentrate in raising my daughter... So, in short... i have already sacrificed a lot... but i don't regret any of it...

Yes, she must be very strong to be able to stay away from her family. It must be a real struggle and sacrifice for her. But if it will improve the her family's situation and she can look forward to a brighter future then she's doing right. Some people are just lucky enough to have no need to seek further developments in ther life as they are already contented and secured with what they have. Many people in my country leave their family and small children to work abroad to alleviate poverty. Sometimes they stay away for many years and visit their family only once every two years. I know if they had a choice they wouldn't do that.

Very Good Post! Like you, I would prefer to sacrifice my own ambitions and goals for the sake of my family. I would not prefer, at any cost, to say alone, without my family. I know if this kind of thing happen, not only I would be in trouble, but my family may also suffer, without my presence. It would be really hard for me to stay without kids and my better half. You see, if the kids go away even for 2-3 days to stay at their grand-parent's house, after few hours we start missing them. Two of us find it difficult to spend out time, after few hours, because when kids are around, you need to do lots of things which keep you busy. So without family, it would be a punishment for me to stay at another city, irrespective of the fact, whether the reasons is my study or career. How are you? Have a great day! Deepak

I support what she is doing too, but like you I would never do that myself. One reason we never had kids was that we felt the need to complete our education first, and considering the combined number of advanced degrees we have between us, obviously I was past child-bearing age by the time we PHinisheD. Cripers, if I am away alone for one night on a business trip I am already completely freaked out about being away from him, and in 40-odd years of marriage he has never gone on a business trip without taking me.

Hi dear to get anything u have to sacrifices and again its depend on situation, priorties in life and things like that. As far as i am concern,i will only say, we both are of same kind and fall under same umbrella Take care

I am overseas for work and have been for three years. My children are back in my home country. This is not the way I wish for things to be but I have made some less than satisfactory decisions in my life and am working hard to try to regain my feet so to speak. My goal is to get home as soon as possible; it is just a little elusive for now! So I guess I am somewhat in the middle of both the scenarios you have described. Yes, ultimately I have a choice to do one thing or another; but it is unfortunately a little more complicated than that.

i am not a mother, never wanted to be so I would easily goout of town to further you studies. But i could see a mother trying to get her education So she could take better care of her children.I can see forgoing seeing them now so she could make sure they could live better in the immediate future.

Hi sandhiya.......I am with you in this case. After my children were born .....my life did not remain mine after that, because source of may happiness became my growing children and each and every moment that I spend with them. I could not even dream about leaving such small children and thinking of my own dreams. We bring children in this world and it is our duty to give our full attention to them atleast as long as when children are so small. Some women are strong and they can have stone hearts and you know sandhiya, such women get big positions in society, and you and me just remain simple housewives, but I don't care I am proud to be good mother and I am happiest person when I think that I am the reason of smiles on lips of my children. I am with you sandhiy.......I am with my children.

It would take very extreme circumstances for me to be away from my children for any period of time, I can't imagine doing it for years. I work from home so that I can be with my children almost all day, every day. I wouldn't say that your cousin is a bad parent either, this is what she feels is best for her family I am sure. I feel bad that any mother would have to sacrifice being in their child's daily life in order to finish their education.

I won't do this. Education is important, but my child is much more important for me. Besides, I don't think I have to give up one of them. Why not getting a higher education meanwhile taking care of your child? I know it's difficult, but it is still possible. Perhaps they can move there for a while, so that your cousin's wife can finish her degree and also take care of her family. I love China

I think this depends on how a person would think. I'm sure it's tough on her but maybe she's thinking more of the future she could give her kid. On the other hand, there are really people who could do that. I have an aunt and uncle who'd leave their 3month old baby to a care of a old couple and just finance the baby's growth and visit one in a while.. around once a week at most.

I have dreams of what I want to do, but my family has to come first. I didn't have kids just to palm them off on anyone all day every day to raise, I feel that it is my job to raise them, otherwise, what was the point of having them? While I have given up so much for my family, and grumbled about it more than once , I know that my time is the most precious thing they can have right now, and watching them grow makes it all worthwhile. My study dreams are on hold, but Uni isn't going any where. When the time is right, I can start my studies, but I will not allow my family to suffer for it. I'm lucky in that what I want to do, I can do most of it from home. Distance Education was actually designed for parents like me, and the course I want to do is designed for online learning, and self paced. Right now, i'm expecting my 5th child, so plans are on hold again, but I know when I am ready, I can apply and get things rolling. I can take on as many or as few units as I can manage, which is good, and the resources for online students is greater than those who trudge into Uni every day. Homework time at my place will consist of me and my girls working together to complete tasks, of course me putting mine aside to help with theirs, but my doing my work with them will set a very good example!

Sacrifices have to be made to achieve something in life but I do not think its a good idea of being away from your children as they also need their parents' affection and care and if you are very close to your children and you cannot stay without them its better not to take such a chance because if you stay away from your children you would not be able to concentrate on your studies.

The wife must be having her own justifications and everyone has different priorities in life but had I been in such situation I would definitely give up my career at any cost. I do not have kids but I am sure it would have been painful to live without kids. I am a very sensitive and out and out family person and living without family, specially the kids, would have been a big NO for me.

If the education is fully paid for, I would go for it. If I have to pay from my own pocket, I might give it a miss. Afterall, with technology, we can get to "see" and "talk" to our family members daily.

I wouldn't be able to do what your cousin and wife are doing. But I am just very different from them. My dream actually is to have and be with my family sharing life experiences.

dont think i can either... i think i'll miss my childnen more than they would miss me.. but i think with the technologies of modern times.. with 3G phones.. webcam.. and what nots.. you can always 'see' each other, even when you are apart.. maybe that's how she survives the 'separation'...

I guess I would do the same as your cousin did. Thinking about my son's future is the thing I could do best for him. I believe that the step to have a higher education is getting ready for my family's future. I would be very thankful to my relatives who had been there for my child. To my child I'll make sure that we will be talking a lot on the phone so we will be more closer even we are apart.

I am a senior citizennow but I cannot imagine when mykids 'were little being able to go someplace and not be with my family at all. I went back to college at age fifty and got my Ba in English as Ihad never finished my college years when younger. my family was everything to me and now I live with my son. I lost my little girl when she was eight.Family always came first with me.