For my son's sake: bad arguing marriage or divorce my husband?

This is exactly my problem. It appears he will be harmed either way. But, the way you put it, divorce is more harmful. I guess it seems less painful an option right now, because we are not dealing with that. It's so hard to know. I only know that it is horrible now, and just completely ruins me to see how our arguing hurts my son, even at this young of age. I am trying everything I know to make it better and that's not working. I feel like I'm stuck with no good option. I wish I could build a good relationship with my husband. That is my greatest hope. So far, after 2 1/2 years, we have not been able to do that. I/we are trying everything, too. It is so frustrating and terribly saddening. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion. I truly appreciate it also.

Ithink in your own heart u have already made your decision. Things can only get better once u decide on what is right 4u. Children r always affected by hostile situations in the home, & this affects them when they r growing up. best of luck 4 the future.

I think what causes the fighting is mistrust, frustration/tiredness, misunderstanding, manipulation, and stubborness. All very bad things and difficult to fix things. And, that is just my*unprofessional guess*. I guess if I really knew, I would feel like I could maybe have a better chance of fixing it. I do love my husband. I*think* he loves me. I think we are very different people that don't really know eachother very well, or understand eachother, we are so very different in a conflicting kind of way, and we offend eachother constantly. Some of it intentional and some of it not. At this point, it is just a big blur of anger and meanness. We definitely didn't have a solid love relationship before we got married. Things were rocky from the beginning, but there was always a little bit of love and compatability. It's just that the bad has always outweighed the good. I really do want to think this through. Hopefully this discussion will help with that. I have already been thinking about this for almost 2 years. I think that is GREAT advice to live separately. I know that is an option, and in the time of trouble and desperation, I feel urgent to make a final decision. But, I think you have a better option. I really appreciate that. Thank you. At least, if anything, I will know I tried all possibilities. At best, maybe something new and good will happen. Thank you for your well wishes. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Your advice and perspective has helped me.

Thank you so much. Honestly, I haven't made up my mind. That is why I'm here. I really do want to make the best decision for my son as possible. I am willing to *bear the burden* of this terrible marriage if it is best for my son. Truly. The problem is that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to not get *pulled into* conflict with my husband. I would be forever grateful if I could just do that, if that is the solution. I would still be in an unhappy marriage, but that's ok if that's BEST for my son. Is it though... that is my dilemma. Thank you so much for responding. I truly value your opinion.

Yes, I understand. That is what I think, but my problem is that I think divorce will hurt him too. It's so hard to see the right way in this.:( I wish we could compromise. Thank you so much for caring to take the time to write a post. I really do appreciate it.

dear narendramodi17, I think this is the best advice yet. Thank you so much. I can do #1 for sure. #2 is hard to shower him with love, especially after so much hurt. I want to do this if it's the right thing, it's just so hard to do, and I am so hurt and hopeless about him that I don't feel loving toward him. Maybe you can help me with this. #3 is easy. I will do this. #4 is EXCEPTIONAL advice. I will do this, too. I am not sure I understand the end though. I make friends, in case I am alone, if we can't make the marriage work? Well that is good advice. Is that what you are saying? I appreciate this SO VERY MUCH. You have openned my eyes and helped me see more clearly. I apreciate you taking the time to help me and tell me what to do. I am ashamed I don't already know this. TRULY, thank you for your help. Can you tell me what you think of separation as a very last option after I do 1, 2, 3, and 4. Thank you.

IF it doesn't work out, but I really hope it does.