I don't believe there are real friendship now --

I have this friend who I consider my best friend and she has the same problem as you do. Around her are people that she is constantly helping out of their hardships whether it is financial problems, or relationship, etc. She has this other friend who only calls her when she needs a ride somewhere or needs a babysitter or wants to go for a coffee and have my friend pay for her. I find myself constantly warning her to stay away from this girl as she is using her. For me: after having a 20 year friendship with two girls that I've known, it all went sour because I ended up playing the middle man between their fight and they ended up being friends again and I was left to hang. I was the bad person in all of it. I haven't spoken to either of them since the beginning of this year and I don't miss them at all to be honest. It seems that once you give an inch to someone they take a mile. I'm frankly tired of being friends with people as well as you are. Don't let anyone thing "It's you" because it's not you... it's them. It's very difficult to trust people for me and I find trusting someone and being able to confide in them for positive feedback is not an overnight thing. I don't have too many reliable friends because it's me that is the reliable one but that's going to change. From now on I'm going to start doing things for myself instead of them. I hope your situation betters and you find better friends that actually appreciate your help and generousity. Good luck with that

I get what you mean and in part i can relate to that. When I was younger and have more money that I can spend,lol, I have many so called friends..But as years went by, one by one they disappear, although we all live in the same or nearby villages. I don't know what happened..Maybe we got older and have different lifestyles or agendas in life..Right now after 25 years,only 3 really close friends left. These real and true friends I only see occasionally but we always keep in touch thru telephone and keep each other updated.. If new friends wants me, I'd accept but true friends are hard to come by these days..

I am an honest, truthful person who is loyal. I would be glad to be your friend. My name is Albert

Hello Crystalxdr, I have the same feeling, when I was in College, I met a lot of good friends and I can tell they are real and sincere but we started to depart from each due to marriage,relocation ans jobs. This time of my age, It is very hard to find a real and sincere friend whom I can say that will stand with me no matter what and whatever may...Maybe you are correct, due to materialistic society people tend to be more practical. Anyway, I am still positive to find more real and sincere friends in the future..Good Luck to both of us!

Hey crystal, don't get upset. I had this kind of feeling too. What you have realized might not be bad. At least you know who is a real friend and who is not. Being friendly is not a problem. But meanwhile you have to be aware of those who just want to use you. Sometimes we need to say no. Another thing is you don't need to always think of others. Somehow we need to give ourselves some attention. Just try to think of yourself first. Don't consider yourself to be selfish if you do so. It's also a process of being mature. Trust me. I have gone through that before. And the above is what I have learn. Just be joyful. You will find you friend indeed. Let go of those people's jealousy.

hi crys, its been 7 days since you posted this reality. may I share my experience of friends betrayings and friends using people? actually i'm standing on the song which goes like " Using things and loving people, that's the way it's got to be". Does that sound should-be? Yes it should be.. but don't lose hope.... friends are there for learning and not actually to 100% lean on. I have a lot of friends who i thought will be there when i need them most...but nahh they quickly disappear when they notice i am on something deep problem. Selfishness is a part of man in some part of his human nature. but i hope this words will remain in your mind...friends does not stay long... but what you learn from them matters... include also what you learn from me. hahah tc

it is case with me somewhat. the person i thought my best friend cheated on me big time. it was really hard to come to ternms. after that I think there is no such friendship at all. may be for myself.

Maybe you have experienced many disappointments so that you come to this idea. But I think your opinion is somewhat pessimistic. Though there exists selfish friends, you should believe that you have nothing to regret for you are always being honest and friendly. Through your friends'd behavior, you can tell the true friends from the hypocrites. So please have hope in your mind. I think most people in the world are kind and like to help each other. If not the world will come to an end last. What important is that you should learn to adapt yourself to the changing environment. I hope you can find some bosom friends.

let me tell you, you are OK. its a really materialistic society we have right now, but you should still have the faith in yourself, try to be your own friend first, then may be you will find no matter what's wrong with other friends, you still have one, a trully one, that is you ! that's it. have faith in you and then in others you will feel better.

i donot think that there is no true relationship is there.perhaps u have not fallen in love so that is why u r telling this thing.u first fall urself in love then again think about ur thought and feel ur love from ur inner part of ur heart and then tell me about ur experience.

the only thing wrong with you is your choice in friends. true friendships DO exist.. albeit few and far between. and those relationships take time to develop and mature. i have scads of "friends" people that i spend time with.. occaisionally have a deep conversation with.. but they arent those i turn to in a desperate moment. there are only a couple.. just barely a handful.. of people that i have in my life that are hardcore diehard FRIENDS. people that i know wouldnt even blink in coming to my aid.. and even dying for me. as i would them. my husband has an analogy in regards to people who continually wind up surrounded by friends or lovers that are just horrible people. if you continually fish in a cesspool, all you catch are mutated unhealthy fish. change yer fishing hole.

True friends are really hard to come by. Lucky for. me I have two that are Best Friends, we have been for 35 years. I try not to make friends with anyone anymore, I simply make them acquaintances. When I have out my trust into someone they have talked behind my back, stabbed me in the back, and made up several lies about me, or someone in my family. Even when I left my old job, the people who I thought I could trust even called my employer and said negative things. I changed jobs for many reasons, most of being making more money. Now have you, I left the old job and did something better for myself and these people are still stuck doing the same job they have been doing for years. So there goes to show it is hard to trust people.

hi! don't lost hope..Maybe you choose the wrong onew..or maybe your expecting too much from them..nto all people are kind..They have dfferent attitude depends on how they were raise..but if you try to try searching there were few..but not many aq you think..don't lose hope..

first of all nothing is wrong with you. finding a good fren nowadays takes time. i found a fren recently if hes pretending he is a good one. almost falling asleep in my office one day a text message came in on my phone frm a strange number, i replied you av the wrong number after a few messages of trying to convience that they had the wrong number i decided to call eventually it was a male that answered after a long conversation my credit finish it was actually easier for me to call so wen he tex i would call then he sugested that i am spendin too muc money on cards so he volentaire to sen money to buy credit i didnt beleive im until i check at the western union he did sen the money i was shocked i dont even know this man from adams. i said to my self there is noway this is real but it is. he keeps sending money for the topping up for the phone. he is from another country he is down to earth. i can talk to him about anything ask his opinion on things he is like a counsellor. so my fren do you beleive in long distance frenships? its been two months now and i dont regret it.

Hi Crytalxdr I too think there are no real friendships. I too had lot many bitter experiences in this friendship business. People are selfish and what ever they want to take out of our mind and heart, they take and that becomes the talk of the town. After knowing our secrets they start to keep distance. We become fools. As if people are looking for some hot news and they just want get entertained. only for that purpose they come near others. But when we are in need they are not available . I never expect any monetary help but only moral support but that too was not available when needed. As you said we cant rely on anyone , we cant trust anyone. I agree with your statement that in this materialistic society people tend to be so realistic, that they only take but not return.

I think nothing's wrong with you.But just remember this.You can't please everybody.I've been in that situation somewhat but I just didn't let it bother me.For me,it's better to have a few good friends then to have a hundred who are not even true.I'm sure you have good friends too.maybe I can be one of them. :)

There is nothing wrong with you.It's them who make a mistake by not be real friends to you as you are to them...I haved what I tought best friends,but then,...I dont know...they turnd out to be straingers for me,and I miss them...every one of them... At first I blamed my self,like you did,than I put the blame on them,but now I see...that's what life is...I dont blame enybody anymore,that's just what humans are... I was surprised when I so youre topic,now I know that I'm not the only one with the feeling that ,ther is no real friendship relation between people ,like it should be...everybody is fake...why? I've only come to this conclusion:-We ,the humans,have so much more to climb on the scale of evolution... I allmost lost my hope to have a REAL friend...That is sad, isn't it? Well,so long...and, take care!

well, if you look around you these days you discover that we are surrounded by people who only are out for what they satnd to gain from us and not what they can give to us,its so unfortunate that people have become so self centered and selfish but i must say that in as much as we have these ,we still have people who are willing to be good friends and will even stand by you all the way,but people like this are just scared and please nver conclude that there are no true friendships again,it does exist and am sure you will find it someday if you keep your mind open.goodluck

keep find,don't give up my friend. don't live in other's life.love what you do,that's all. it's not what you know,it's who you know.

first of all nothing is wrong with you. true frenship takes time to find there are some really really good and faithful frens out there. i eventually got a text message on my phone one day it happens to be a male from another country it haapen almost 2 months now i avnt regret 1 day nt even a bit he we both av families but we dont cross the line. he is a down to earth person can talk to about anything he is like counsellor he is mature i dont know this man from adams and trus me it was costing me a whole lot to call him but he eventaully send money to top up the phone in space of 4 days so we could talk that was a shocked. how many persons do you know would do something like that? he jus sent me some more money to top up my phone. jus believe that the rite one is waiting for you true frenships come from within. i av been there will help in every way you can an then when your in difficulty theres no help for you that is not a pretty thing. jus hold the faith but do you think a long distance frenship can work?