Can you forgive your mother?

What an inspiring life story you have! I'm sure this will help other people who are in same situation to feel better and do the same as you do. God bless you!

Why do people see birth mothers as having a fault for allowing their child to have a life they cannot give them? That seems so harsh to me...but then I know my full story on both sides and maybe that is why my heart is tender toward my birth mom. To relinquish a child...it is, for SOME, an unselfish, loving, and responsible decision to make. Yes, there are different reasons for children not being raised by their biological mother or parents. Some of them aren't "valid" because the decision is made from a selfish standpoint. Others however, are made because the mom LOVES their child SO MUCH they can make the decision to allow someone else to raise them and love them. Remember the mother who was willing to give up her child instead of allowing the King to slice him in half? That is a true mother's love and that's how I see my birth mom. She made the right decision. She could have sneaked out and had an abortion and been "done" with me. But she didn't! That's admirable, not selfish! Every adoptee is different... I count myself blessed to be able to love my entire birth family the way I do and that includes my Mom. I know the Lord didn't bring them into my life until I was a Christian for several years and they are all Christians too. The Lord has perfect timing. :)

I'm happy for you, At least you are now complete. Doesn't every mother knows that when she left their child without any clue as to why, they leave a hole in their hearts? and in their lives? If what she did is within reasons then there's no reason to fear, Isn't there? Mistake can only be corrected when forgiven and accepted but first and foremost you must ask for forgiveness and acceptance. If what she did is out of reasons then I think she must be brave enough to confront her child and accept whatever the outcome. But whatever the situation or circumstance that led her to leave her child, by finding him/her, she filled that hole both in their hearts and in their lives and that certainly is worth it no matter what's the outcome of their meeting.

Well...see...I was fine before she contacted me for the most part. I have incredible parents and a terrific brother who have loved me my whole life (and still do!). It wasn't a mistake for my birth mom to relinquish me. On the contrary. I am sooo glad she gave me up so my parents could raise me. She was only 17 years old and my birth dad had gone another direction. She did the right thing by me and for that I will be forever thankful. What she did was admirable, brave, and unselfish. I had a GREAT life because she loved me so much to relinquish me! My life would have been very different otherwise. My sister (younger than me) is a fantastic person, but she carries baggage from her life that I never have to and for that I'm thankful as well. Adoptees have so many conflicting feelings about their birth mothers and I can understand that. I've been through several of them. However, my mom (who bore me) is an incredible lady with great love for her family and that includes me. I am blessed to know her. I wouldn't have been ready to know her in years previous. God's timing is perfect.

Yah. Its a good thing what you said. Maybe I could forgive but it would stay at that. No reconcilation.

How can one forgive someone even their mothers if their own mothers didn't bother to ask. I understand that their is a good reason but a good reason always becomes bad when it is not known. to all thanks for the response.

good day...I can forgive her but only if she ask. God forgive those who repent and ask to be forgiven, I can't do things above God. I don't even know her so literally how can I forgive her. It's just drive me crazy not knowing the reason. I know I'll try to understand as hard as I can but first I need to know.