Have you ever thought about leaving your mate because of their mother?

This is the tips you may find helpful. Whenever she appears, simply go out for shopping or anywhere you feel comfortable. Also let them know modestly that you do not like their presence much by body language. Hopefully, they will understand.

I have never called to tell family I was coming and no one ever calls me. We just don't do that. I love my in laws! They live right across the road from me. Even though they live right across the road sometimes I don't see them every week. I think you need to sit down with your husband and his parents and get everything straightened out. She may not know she is bothering you.

I too am facing a similar situation like yours and am fedup of my mother in law but i have never thought of leaving my husband as i love him dearly and he too tries his level best to make life comfortable for me. We do sometimes fight over because of his mother but at the end i love him dearly. I have now found a solution by ignoring my mother in law. I simply dont care what she is saying or doing and if she tries to create and issue then i am not going to take it lying down. I protest and she knows this very well so she now does not try to confront me.

Actually the longest relationship i ever had ended because he was such a momma's boy and she was a total witch. They both smoked and he listened to every word she use to say. We could never go out and do anything or say anything without her butting in her 2 cents, even when we werent talking to her. I would want to go out bike riding and she would stick her nose in and say ohhh no you cant do that you need to stay here and clean up after me.. bla bla bla i was so glad to be rid of them both, they made me miserable.

God no I wont give her the satisfaction of coming between us! The best thing you can do is ignore her make out that it doesnt bother you trust me it annoys my partners mother more than anything else I can do! As for the coming over dont answer the door for a few times and if she mentions it just nicely say oh we must have been out maybe you can ring next time save you wasting your time be polite and smile a lot might get your point across better than getting upset

hello my mother is everything for me because she took me in that condition through which i am able to earn and make my own reputation. yes i am also agree that partner is also very useful but just you think thatyour mother is your partner since you was not able to walk.

I know it wil be hard but you have to tell your husband and most importantly your mother-in law how you feel.

I'm sorry that it's still happening cream..How about writing her a letter so you can express all what you feel deep inside, in that way, you will be healed too! and hopefully, she will realize how she is helping you to have a unhappy married life because of her!

Hi cream. I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time with your mother-in-law. But if I were in your shoes....NO. I do have a very good relationhip with my own mother-in-law. And if things were the exact opposite, I won't give her the pleasure of seeing me defeated. I made a promise to spend my life with my husband, and if she will give me h*ll, then I'll return the favor, with a more respectful gesture. After all, she's the mother of my husband. You should try talking to your husband and explain to him the real deal between you and his mom. That not everything he sees is ok. I know, it's going to be a difficult situation for him but it's very important that he tries to be emotionally neutral. And if you feel that he's being neutral, and if you can, try to talk to your mother-in-law. With your husband, in the middle of it. Tell her what you feel about the situation and if you're deeply sure that she's giving you problems, then ask her directly WHY?If she has some issues, then she needs to lay them out in the open. So finally you'll have an idea why she's doing it to you. Just make 100% sure, that your husband is emotionally ready not to take any sides. Because that will worsen the situation. Goodluck and I do hope that things will turn out fine between the two of you.

i've never been in such a situation yet. i hope i won't. but stories like that are so common and familiar. maybe the best way to treat that problem is to live with your husband away from his parents. but be patience with them still, after all, they are your husbands' parents and the grandparents of your children. it's still better to treat them nice.

I can understand where you are coming from. My dad asked me once if I was going to let my MIL ruin my life and come between my husband and I. Was I going to let her ruin a wonderful marriage? I was to the point also of just being done because I knew she did not like me and I felt judged every time we went around his family. If he is a mammas boy or in with a tight knit family it is really hard on a wife to fit in and feel like part of the family. at least that was my case. Have you tried sitting down and talking to your MIL. I mean really talking to her. Have you tried to tell her how you feel? My MIL are slowly getting closer but I have tried to just talk to her and ask her advice. I have tried to let go of some of the resentment I have been hanging on to from past experiences (Hers and a past MIL that did me real bad) We are getting there but it has been a slow process for us. Adjusting to a new family can be very hard but it can be done with good communication and effort from all the people involved.

No, I haven't. In fact, my wife's mother lives with us. As I have never been in your situation, I really do know what you should do. The only thing I could suggest is to perhaps seek some type of family counseling where everyone is there together if that is at all possible. I hope you get sorted out, because I can tell from your post how much you are troubled by your mil.

i have not. you & your mother-in-law should have a good relationship at all times. coz she is the only person that knows your husband more than you do. try to find ways to win her heart. buy her gifts even if there is no occasion, treat her to dinner, or just spend time chitchatting with her when you do not have anything to do. it is also wise to talk about it with you husband. ask for help on how you can win his mother's heart. if all options are exhausted & you still cannot establish a good relationship with her, then let it go. you have done your part & since it did not work out, then it is not your fault. this time, just focus on your husband more & do not mind what she tells you or do to you.

Oh man girl. I just don't have any advise for you here. I was seriously thinking of leaving my hubby at one point to get away from his mom. She does so much underhanded stuff that I can't even begin to list it. I thought I would try a last ditch effort and talk to the hubby about it and guess what ... she's p@sses him off too. Now we are doing great and are united in an effort to teach her to respect us and our home or leave. Right now we are not answering her phone calls as a way of letting her know that her last one had unacceptable comments in it. It's sort of a time out and they seam to work for a short while. We have all of her grandkids but one and she can only see him when we bring him to her. So we do have some control in this. As for your situation, well it does sound like there is a lack of respect there and you need to talk to your hubby and her. Though I don't suggest throwing out the man because of his mom, aqt least not just yet. Best of luck to you.

This is a problem a lot of people experience, it's hard because she's an important member in the family of your husband and there is no way in parting with her unless your husband wants the same thing and you would have to ban her out of your life. I'm not sure that's the solution, especially if this would mean grandchildren growing up without (one of their) grandma's. The only thing that might help is making good agreements on certain things like calling before visiting. I don't know if this is managable with her but it's worth a try if you haven't tried this before.

no, my boyfriend's mom is a very nice old lady, refined and kind, actually his family are good people, they never treat me bad or indifferent so i have no reason to feel leaving him because of his family.

Have you talked to your husband about it? Maybe he can help you in this issue. I understand your feeling since I have friends who have the same experienced with you. If that is something very annoying and you think, it is very hard to deal with her, why not moving to a place where they can't visit you often. My friend did that actually and she is more peaceful now, her husband also feel for her and knows what's the situation, but, I know doing that is hard especially if you got a stable job right now!

Decide what is more important to you.......your love for your husband, or the discomfort his mother causes. I would advise you to do what I used to do with my kids and their friends. Tell your husband that he needs to say something to her or you will. If it is done that way it might be kinder and might seem that it is coming from him and not from you. If you are outspoken, which it doesn't seem you are (just like me) then go ahead and tell her what you think and how she bothers you. Tell her the things that she does at your home when she comes there and how it isn't going to be tolerated. You don't have to put up with it just because you are married to her son and if you haven't talked about it with your husband then that is the first thing that you should do. I think that I must have been lucky not to have known either of my ex's mothers.

Hubby needs to have a nice discussion with his mom about respecting your time and space - if he chooses not to, then take it upon yourself to make your position known.

What does your husband say about the situation? This is really the first question that needs to be asked. If he is letting his mother behave in a manner that is making you unhappy than that is one source of the problem right there. She is his mother and it is his responsibility to deal with. From your post it sounds like this has gone on for quite a while now. She can't be unaware that her behavior is bothering you, thus it is purposeful. Was she like this before you married? How long have you been with your husband? There are a few things that you can do, none of them are a guarantee fix but they might get the point across. 1. Talk to your husband and ask that he speak to your MIL about boundaries. Make certain that you establish these with him first so that whatever he tells her is what you want, you won't get a "do over". 2. Failing option 1, do it yourself. Invite her alone, to lunch. Tell her what she is doing that bothers you and how it is affecting your relationship with her son. Tell her that you need for it to stop and give her some new "rules" by which to play. Tell her clearly that you will not be leaving anytime soon so she and you must learn to get along but if she wants continued contact she must play nicely. If one of the boundaries is not showing up uninvited there are a few remedies. 1. Don't invite her to stay. If they show up around dinner time explain there is only enough for your immediate family and thank them for coming as you show them out the door. 2. If visits are randomly spaced tell her that you were on the way out to run errands. Pack everyone up and leave. Thank her for coming as you show her out the door. 3. If it is over a weekend tell she and her husband that it is a work / cleaning weekend and that you don't have the time to entertain. Invite them to assist you in a top-to-bottom house cleaning / yard cleaning exercise so that it will go faster and you will have time to visit later. For this one to work you have to keep a list of really bad jobs (grout scrubbing, garage cleaning, weed pulling, composte spreading) handy that you are able to quickly pull out. Those are three that can work. But really the best is for you and your husband together to talk to her.