Can we talk about non-traditional ways of being romantic?

ohh i am so out of place on this discussion of yours and i cant help to poke my nose here. first because i dont have a partner but doesnt stop me from having a lot in my mind that i can do once i have a partner. well what can i say i am a hopeless romantic. . i think married couples or partners that has been together for a long time still have to keep the magic alive. i am willing to massage my soon to be partner when he is really tired. or just ask him if he likes coffee, tea or me whahahaha. i am just here to see what other friends of yours will respond i hope you dont mind me peeping. thanks in advance.

there was always a hand holding thing he did. and sometimes a hand on the shoulder very non traditional but I think about those things ever day. Glad you are back hugs and blessings

Hi Raia Yes my wonderful Man has his own ways of showing me After my Divorce I was very weary and scared of ever getting involved again But I did with no Plans to a dear Friend of mine who I had been Friends with for 3 Years, he helped me as a Friend to accept my Illness, he kept me going when my Ex Husband made my Life hard while the Divorce was going on and trying to carry on the Mental Abuse that I had suffered with him for 21 years My Friend lived 3 Hours away and was a great Rock on me and he still is now, I live only 45 Minutes away from him now but believe me I have never been treated this caring,loving and delicate before I get respect, he listens to me, he is there when I need him and he has his own Ways of showing his love to me and like your Hubby it is not by buying me things it is the way he is with me and I am so happy that I have him in my Life

It sounds like you have a wonderful husband and relationship. Congrats! My husband likes to surprise me by either loading or unloading the dishwasher at unexpected times. I rarely ask him to do this for me, but I have before when I'm really behind on chores or super busy. He always helps out when I ask, but I love it when he comes home early and has the dishwasher unloaded for me or I'm out running an errand and he will decide to clean up the kitchen and load the dishwasher. It's those times when I don't ask or expect it, that it means the most!

One can also be creative in being romantic. One is not supposed to forget about romancing due to lack of time but decide to be romantic no matter what are our, attitudes with changing times, are like.

Fuh,i like this topic..for me being romantic were when we did or experienced things that we didnt expect to happen..i mean just last night my partner and i saw our first shooting star which came out of nowhere..for the whole time we talked about this astrology stuffs which i honestly know nothing about it..furthermore just between that time also we got our first kiss,hahahaa..unfortunately she's not my girlfriend..

Romance for me is not about gifts... it is about intimacy... little gestures without having to ask for them. It is about understanding each others needs. It is about understanding what's make your partner happy. It is about listening. I was in a relationship for 14 years... and the most romantic thing she ever did for me... without fail... even if we had an argument the night before... every morning she brought me a cup of coffee in bed. She did that from the first day I met her without asking for it. I actually never did ask for it. She just did it. Right until the last day I was with her.

That was so sweet of David. He heard you and responded. That is great.Well, I am not in a relationship right now but I were, I would want my lover to surprise me with... are you ready? Hockey tickets.In the spring most think of romance. Others baseball . But I think of The NHL playoffs.The most romantic thing he could give me is Red Wing or Caps hockey tickets.I don't eat a lot of chocolate. And I don't find flowers romantic so hockey would do it.Come to think of it, it doesn't have to tickets to the game.It could be just a night where we see the game at home and he brings the pizza.

When I was young and in love, much like many young people these days, my stereotypical icons of romance are those associated with roses, chocolates, candles and a couple of other things. Giving these things make our partners feel we are romantic. That carried on into my initial years of marriage. After years being married, we realize that these icons can only go so far. As we grow more affectionate towards each other over the years, my wife and I think of being romantic as doing things to express affection for each other in meaningful yet sometimes unexpected ways. These acts are borne out of love, and borders on sincerity and some creativity. We learn to do things for each other that we will appreciate and which can get us excited about doing. Yes, romance can be practiced everyday like what David does for you and I’m sure you’ll do likewise for him too, and it doesn’t have to be anything grand or expensive. Some of our most romantic moments we’ve shared are really spontaneous, simple and cheap, sometimes even free. They are also the non-traditional ways that keep the romance burning in our relationship. Every now and then, we will take drives and revisit some of the special places that hold dear memories for us during our courtship days. The place could be a hilltop lookout, a reservoir park or some museum. Besides appreciating the changes that have evolved in that place, we reminiscence about what that special place meant to us and it usually brings back wonderful fond memories of our early courtship. We live opposite the sea and a stretch of lovely parklands. Occasionally, we will take morning or evening walks there. Once a while, we will go there at night and walk on the beach under the moonlight, or watch anglers fishing by the pier. These walks can be so romantic and we will still hold hands walking sometimes. Just sitting at the park bench looking out to the sea, feeling the breeze and talking about anything that comes to mind are simple delightful activities that can be pleasurable. My wife and I spend a lot of time in our study room doing our own thing or just relaxing. Sometimes, we get tired of roaming around town aimlessly and doing window shopping when we have nothing in mind to buy, and decide that it is more romantic to spend time together in this little hideaway (if I can call it that) in our home. In between doing our own thing, we will chit-chat a lot, share our experiences, or joys and burdens or just talk nonsense. Many times, we will turn on the music and enjoy the songs together. These moments together are very meaningful for us, and keeps us very engaged in our relationship. There’s one more thing I’d like to share. I’m into designing collages, montages and posters and I really enjoy doing this. Mostly I have been doing this for others, and as you know, my most recent one was for a 70-year old lady’s birthday. Now I am thinking of doing family collages for ourselves, be it family moments, holiday trips, whatever. My wife likes the idea and is encouraging me to start so I’ll probably start thinking about this after my holiday trip. I know it will be wonderful down memory lane for us when we start to talk about what we should create, how we should frame them, where we want to display these, etc. I personally think this will be a romantic and satisfying pursuit for us in the coming weeks and months. Ok, enough said already and I hope I don't bore anyone here. But I did personally enjoy writing these, and I thank you Raia for giving me the opportunity to share these when you broached the subject. Warm regards, Victor

That's so sweet of him. The simplest gestures do mean a lot more. And I'm not surprised, Raia. From what you've shared about David, he loves you a great deal. Now...about me.hehehe. Well, I've told you some things about me and my hubby. He's not the romantic type. He's not into flowers or chocolates or gifts. Well, the last time he gave me a bouquet of white roses was when he wanted a truce. And he's not into sweet, romantic words like telling me every day that he loves me. It gives him the shivers! Well, the most non-traditional way that was romantic to me was one day, I woke up to find out that he helped clean the house. Now, you know that I have some problems with him on that aspect. But just one day, he did it. I was like, "whoa!what has happened?" And he was grinning silly. He knew that I was very pleased and touched. Because it made me realize that he's not really that insensitive to my feelings. He does listen to me and if sometimes, he's a little annoying, he makes up for it. And normally, I give him a back and leg massage especially when he's very tired from work. But there was a time that he offered to give me a back massage. I wasn't saying anything but I guess, my discomfort was obvious. And yet again, I was taken aback by his offer!hehehe You know, Raia, for all my husband's flaws, one romantic gesture from him wipes it all. And as we approach our 7th anniversary, based on what's happening to our relationship right now, I'm looking at a very fun, and loving marriage. You're absolutely right. The magic should stay alive in any relationship, especially marriage. That's what keeps the things that destroys any relationship.

I think the concept of romance can be somewhat over rated leading people to expect things that are important or feel neglected because they do not get what they think they should. I believe traditional romance can often be contrived to conform to expectations dictated by society and often have too short of a sell by date. In my experience traditional romantic gestures tend to fizzle out after a couple of months as though they were just the incentive to stick together and now you are a 'proper' couple then it is no longer really important. For me spontaneous gestures mean much more because they are derived from a desire to please in the moment and come from the fact that you know a person intimately or have listened to what they have said. My partner has done many spontaneous things over the years that mean more than traditional gestures such as having a cup of tea ready for me when I walk through the door after a hard day at work or waiting with a heated towel if I am coming in out of the rain. To me these mean more than a weekly bunch of flowers or a daily 'I love you' because they address my needs in a way that says 'I am thinking of you and care about you'

Romance is a very complex subject and hard to understand. What's romantic to one person, might not be romantic to another person. You should definitely check out the book "The five languages of love." or the "Five love languages." It's something like that.

I think definitely someone with a beautifully amazing voice singing to you and laying their soul out on that barroom floor for all the world to see, is the most romantic thing in the world. How many people in this life get to say that this happens to them all the time??? I'm a lucky lucky girl...

i am 34 years old and i am married for 5 years now. i can say based on experience that a woman with simple needs are the sweetest person/people in the world. why? because it is easy to make them happy. just like you. carrot cake makes you loving your husband 10 times more than yesterday and David (archuleta or cook? har har har joke) is one lucky guy for having you. there are woman out ther who are so hard to please and they will only love you 10 times than yesterday if you but her expensive gifts. i am like david, i am blessed. i have a simple wife that is happy with just simple gifts. she would really go gaga over a yummy piece of cake. once i brought home her favorite coffee from starbucks and she was so happy she gave me a foot spa. i am not on giving flowers for she has asthma and i dont want her to get sick on anything i give. one of the traditional ways of being romantic that i think we still practise is when we have misunderstanding we make sure we are ok before we sleep at night we dont sleep having our sadness and our misunderstandings. she approves with that too. life is easy and fun specially when you share it with a person that is easy to talk to and always smiles and make you smile. now i need to get back to my wife for she is preparing a wonderful breakfast har har har.

I'm lucky to have met a wonderful man 3 years ago, who is forever doing things in a non-traditional way lol. We met online 3 years ago and until I moved here, we emailed each other everyday, and I honestly figured that would stop once I was here, but he still sends me an email every morning when he gets to work, just to say good morning, he calls me when he is on his way home from work, everyday. He listens to me, even when I think he isn't, I mentioned (at least he says I did lol) in the last 3 years that I loved photography, he surprised me at Christmas with a DSLR camera, and a high def printer! So I could 'upgrade' my scrapbooking! lol He's always surprising me with little things he buys me on the way home from work, or just when he goes to pick up some groceries. Welcome back

Non-traditional ways of being romantic of course would be based on what each of the partners want. So, sensitivity to the other's needs and wants is an assumption. Then it would be just the ability to think outside the box, so to speak. Those who just give chocolates and flowers are lazy. A lover must try harder to plan what to do for the beloved. Instead of going to a movie, why not do some other activity they both enjoy, for example: watching pyrotechnics, sketching each other's face, cooking a healthy meal, giving each other a massage, giving each other's hair a hot oil or collagen treatment, reading poetry or stories to each other. Some non-traditional romantic way could be actually something "traditional" like upon arrival at home, the wife removes the shoes of the husband and replaces these with slippers or house shoes. Wouldn't this just be so romantic?