Do YOU see something wrong with this??

Personally, I see a whole lot wrong with this picture, and none of it is on you. I'm certain that you didn't make those beautiful little angels all by yourself, right? So why should you have to take all the responsibility? You shouldn't. Your husband is a wonderful man if he gets up to help out without complaining. When my youngest was a newborn her father wasn't working, but complained when I woke him up at night. I thought it was a good system- I got up, changed the baby while he made the bottle, then I fed her and put her back down while he slept. Good arrangement, but he never failed to complain. The father of my oldest was worse. He refused to get up and the narrow stairs were way too steep to negotiate when I was half asleep carrying the baby, I didn't even like to carry him up or down them in the middle of the day. I made the mistake of leaving the baby(2 weeks old) upstairs with him while I went down to make a bottle. When I came back into the bedroom, my ex was fast asleep on the edge of the bed, one arm hanging off the edge and the other on the baby's back, the baby crying on my ex's chest. I freaked. It was a long drop to the very hard floor. I took the baby, my blanket and pillows and went down and slept on the couch. We slept downstairs basically until Ben was sleeping through the night. We don't make them alone. We shouldn't have to raise them alone. Unless we make that decision, like I did with my middle child. I carried her, delivered her and raised her without any input from her "biological sperm donor". With no father around, I had to do it all and it was easy, with no man to fight with about responsibilities. Good for you and your man!!

He is there dad he should help out, ok so you stay at home but you cant just go to bed theres things you have to do everyone is tired when theres small babies in the house, its hard enough with one let alone two! I think your children have a fantastic daddy as so many men cant be bothered or pull the old "well i work all day" speach and its not they made them they are a part of them and therefore they can help at night sometimes!

The way I see it, every family and every couple needs to work out what is right for them. If the arrangement you and your husband has is one you are both happy with then there is nothing wrong or inconsiderate about it. If your cousin is fine having sole responsibility then good for her. You may be the stay at home mom but you also have 2 babies, she only has one. Her one baby will sleep eventually giving her a chance to rest, your two babies may get on opposite schedules sometimes and having an extra hand becomes a necessity. Parents may or may not feel the need to divide the responsibility equally. It's their personal choice though and no one else should judge the choices of others...especially if they have never experienced the same issues.

Well some people may think the way your cousin does... But you do what works for you. I also have twins, they are 5 now. When they were babies hubby would sleep downstairs with them, because he worked 2 jobs and I stayed home with them all day. This way I could sleep through the night. I would have a monitor up with me and listen to make sure he got up, but then go right back to sleep. This was his choice, he always cared about how much sleep I got. Now we have another newborn who is just almost to the point of sleeping through the night. Most nights I get up myself, but there are times I need him to. He doesn't mind it at all, and usually will ask me before we go to sleep to wake him up so I may sleep. Not to mention, when you have 2 screaming or needing something at the same time, you can't ignore one for the other, that's just not fair to the other one. Also just hearing the screaming and not being able to do anything about it gets frustrating, and you don't need that stress when dealing with a baby.

I don't think your wrong. Your husband is being a good father and he'll probably keep it up. I do know I'm 60 yrs. old nd people go by how thier raised and how thier families did things so your cuz has her point of view based on the way she was raised and taught. That's what make America a great country. I've been living in Mexico for the last few years and you should see some of thier cultural ways! I'd probably make your hair curl! LOL Do What your doing and it'll all come out OK! tdemex

I don't see where you did anything wrong I think that both parents should take turn when the babies wake up and seeing that you have two that's alot. And what peoeple feel to realize is that being a stay at home mom is a job! So maybe your cousin is mad that your husband get up and her's don't. But I think that it is good that yall have it worked out like that.

It's hard enough when you have one baby and you don't get enough sleep at night....and you have two! That's double the work. I don't think it's wrong....you work equally hard at home when your husband is at work....what's wrong in taking turns at night? And your husband isn't complaining, is he? Then that's because he thinks that he needs to help too. My mom used to stay at home...but I remember that eveytime my sister woke up in the middle of the night, it was my dad who would carry her and walk around....and he used to work a full shift too. But my husband is like your cousin...and would get irritated if I so much as asked him to hold the baby while I got him something. It's not like he's never tended to the baby in the night (he never did with the older and to date thinks that the older one never woke up in the middle of the night while the truth is that he would wake up every night till he was two!)....but when he does tend to the baby...he would be complaining so much that I'd rather tend to the baby than listen to what he has to say. Personally, I feel that babies are the responsibility of both the parents....and either one can do things for the baby according to convenience.

I would expect my husband to help out with baby duties. For one thing, babies are a lot of work. And for another they are his children, too, and the more involved he is in their upbringing, the better off they will be. Children should be a shared responsibility if possible. Every family has their own system though - I'd be more surprised that this woman felt entitled to criticize your marriage without a good reason - like abuse or something.

First of all being the mother of twins myself let me state that someone with just one baby can never understand that a mother of twins or more never stops. It's going all day long. You are not being inconsiderate and I think your husband knows that. My husband helped out with babies at night whenever needed. I only asked him when I needed help,and then after I went back to work he helped often in the middle of the night. It is a huge responsibility and the time involved is way different than having just one. I had my first 3.5 years before the twins were born. By the time you are finished feeding one baby, get the next one fed, you only have 30 min to an hour before next feeding. It is not like that with one baby. Don't give your cousin another thought...and next time tell her to walk in your shoes for a day/week/month.

What I see wrong is your cousin's reaction. Parenting is and always will be a shared responsibility. Being a stay-at-home mom is no joke. From sun-up to sun-down, we're moving. And I guess, your cousin is familiar with household chores. So, she should know that it's not a light responsibility. And besides, it's not that you're turning over to your husband your share of responsibility. You have done yours already, so he should do his. Maybe deep down inside her, she envy you. Because your husband doesn't complain and sure is happy to take care of your twins. He's not missing out on the opportunity to bond with them. It's not always work, go home, sleep, get up in the morning, and back to work again. Your husband makes sure that your twins grow up, being both lovingly taken care of by both their parents. Be proud of him.He's not among the group of husbands who stubbornly refuse to do their parenting responsibilities. As what other have said already, it takes two to create a child.

excuse me for saying this, but your cousin is full of herself. of course its right for your husband to help you,he is their daddy for heavens sakes. You have a great husband and you are a great mom, its quite ordinary in a lot of couples that the dad helps care for his children. this is 2008 not 1908 and couples share a lot of responsibility with the care of their children. I applaud the dads that do this.

I think your cousin needs to honestly step in your shoes for a while and see how you do it and all alone at night while your husband sleeps. You only get him up if need be I give you credit for that. It's not easy to have to take carte of twins when trying to do it alone. Yes your husband works long hrs to bring in the money to help support the family but like you said he dosn't complain when you ask him to help you out and he has to get up. It should be an equal thing when helping take care of the babies you both made them together and you two don't seem to mind takeing on this responsibilty together as a team. I wouldn't let what she said get to you for it's what you and your husband think that matters the most not her's. I wish you the best of luck to you and your husband w/ the twins keep up the good work both of you. Take care.

yeah there is deffinately something wrong with that piture. she doesnt quite understand the the idea of shared parenting. Im not married myself but even if i was i would find it compleatly out of the question to not help my wife with our kids. it would be just as much my responsibillity as it would be hers. and this person that your talking about should mind her own buisness. she has her opinion, as wild and out of left field as it is, but she should keep it to herself because shes really bludgening you with it. thats definately not right.

If this works for you and your husband then it shouldn't an issue. Every family is different in how they handle their family life. But it might be more considerate to your husband to let him help you on the nights when he doesn't have to get up and go to work the next day. As a stay at home mom you do have the privilege of taking a cat nap if the twins do. What does he say about it? Have you asked him? If he doesn't have a problem with it then cool.

Thats a tough one. My partner works shift work aswell and I stayed home with my daughter. So I saw it as fair that I would get up if she cried because he was at work all day, or has to get up at 3am to go to work. But when I went back to work when she was 14 months old, it was still my job to get up to her at night. Which, I will admit did bug me a little bit because I worked all day too. But my partner would let me have a good sleep in on Saturday or Sunday, so it was all evened out. But I guess in your situation it is a bit different, because you do have 2 babies, not just 1. I think that if this situation is working fine for you and your husband, then thats great! Dont worry about what she says. I think it is for every couple to work out whats fair and what works for them. GOOD LUCK!

I think both partners should work together on taking care of their kids. It doesn't mean that when one works the other one should be the one who will do everything at home. The responsibility of taking care of the children should be done by both the mother and the father. I work full time and my husband stays at home but I still take care of my kids and do some housework. You are not wrong in asking for your husband to help out. It's his kids too and both of you made them so both of you take the responsibility. Your husband seems like a good man since he doesn't complain about it because maybe he knows it's both your responsibility. Don't listen to your friend she's wrong and you're right.

A lot of people just have this idea that moms should do almost all of the baby care, no matter what. I guess because that's how it worked for their family. But that's not how it works for every family. I went back to work when my son was 5 weeks old. I worked from 12-6 pm four days a week. My husband worked 3rd shift full time. We didn't take our baby to a babysitter at all, since we were working opposite shifts. Some people (mostly in his family) thought that it was horrible of me to expect my husband to get up and take care of our son while he was supposed to be sleeping while I was at work! And if he had to change a diaper or give a bath while I was at home, it made him father of the year! But it's what worked for my family, so that's what we did. It made me mad at first when other people said stuff like that, but soon I just quit letting it bother me.

When my youngest was born I nursed her for the first 6 months and my husband would get up with me. He'd change her diaper while I was getting ready to nurse her, or he'd just sit up with me while I nursed! His way of thinking was its the least he can do since he couldn't actually feed her, she wasn't big on daddy feeding her from a bottle!

Your cousin does not realise that you are having twins. Having a single baby and having twins are two different things. It is totally understandable.. If you husband has no problems helping you out then why bother about other peoples opinions? You are lucky to have a caring husband. Keep up the good work. Happy parenting...

I see nothing wrong with it exspeicaly have 2 babies to tend to and being a stay at home mom is not and easy thing and parenting is a shared responsibility my b/f helps out with our lil girl and he works he is the one that puts her to sleep every night so I do not think you are wrong for this!