my fiance wants to go to a bar

Well I am a female and completely understand why you are being "over bearing" this is not normal behavior and whether your fiance realizes it or not.. the way her friend took a picture of her boobs was wrong.. and not his territory to be dealing with. I would try to talk to your fiance about it but keep in mind this is one of her friends, and you don't know all that much about him. Let her know that what the guy did is worrying you about what might happen at the bar. Good Luck!h

Hi mikebowser, I think you have the right not to let her go. I think that guy needs to know what is cool and what is not. I think you should tell this guy, "Hey what you did last time we went out is not at all cool taking pictures of my girl like you did?" You should tell him right at his face man that he needs to apologized and if you still wants to be friends with him he should promise not to do that again. may the force be with you

I havent read the other replies so this may have been said already.....First off..talk to her about it, explain to her your concerns in a loving nonconfrontational way...and secondly..its not anyone ELSE you need to trust, JUST HER. You need to truly trust that she can take care of herself, she is faithful and honest with you and is capable of making sound, solid and responsible choices...

The issue should be whether or not you trust her friend, but rather whether or not your trust her. If you do, then you have nothing to worry about.

I think it's pretty important to note that you said when "we" went to a bar and had a drink... He did this in front of you and I honestly think if he had any bad intentions towards your fiance he would not be doing this in front of you. It's not the nicest thing to do but some guys are a lot more demonstrative that others -- I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with a male friend doing that to me but we're all different. If your fiance is cool with it then it's up to her but someone above suggested something really good - tell your fiance that you feel this guy should treat you with a bit more respect - don't come over as the jealous boyfriend but the caring respecting man who doesn't want his fiance treated in this demeaning manner. Hopefully she'll be able to pull him into line herself without making too much of a fuss about it :) I had a male friend I knew for years and when I met my husband, he wasn't too keen on this guy because he used to call me "B*TCH" when he spoke to me - but he spoke to everyone that way, male or female. My hubby really didn't like it and was offended on my behalf. I had to ask my pal not to use that expression when addressing me and he was fine with it... :)

I think you have to just trust her, she obviously just found it funny and as you were all drunk its hard to say how you really should of taken this guys attitude towards your fiancee. If you have no reason NOT to trust her then let her go to enjoy herself.

well, that really depends on how much you trust your fiance... if you can't trust her, then it is a big problem as it is a big issue in a relationship... i wouldn't want to carry on a relationship with a person who can't even trust me to go out with my friends... sorry, this is just my opinion and i am being very honest with you... you may want to mention to your fiance about her friend's behaviour and if she can ensure you that it won't happen again, then i don't see any reason for you to not let her go... take care and have a nice day...

I can see why you are not willing, actually taht person loves to take advantage of her. can't you just accompany her? or tell the point clearly.

Tell her that you're bothering with the situation, but tell her also that you understand that anything can be happened out of control when gets drunk. I believe your girlfriend will tell her friend not to do that in front of crowd, especially in front of you. Your woman will advice your friend. In this case, if she did it once, we may tolerate her. She did the 'extraordinary' uncontrolled by her, and this behavior could be happened when someone gets drunk. Rational thought had been tackled down by human lust and instinct. But personally if she did it again, this is unacceptable manner and self-humiliating, to her and you all as that woman's companion. I suppose your woman was also drunk, because in normal situation, your woman will cover her and prohibit her to do so. Don't hate her friends, don't keep them away from her. Your woman knew them longer than you, as long as you can accept the condition, and didn't make a big change to your woman, stay with it. Every matter always has its good and bad fruit. If you try to drag her friend out of her life without her self-will, it will also change the circumstances in your relationship with her. Unless you do not want anymore continue with her, that would be different.

I can understand your fiance wanting to go to the bar with her friends,and I agree it should be cool,but if one of her friends did that,I dont blame you for getting mad,and I dont think you are being overbearing, as that guy over stepped his boundaries,and you should defitnally talk your fiance about her friend,and tell that you dont like what he did,and see if she would be willing to avoid that guy,cause if he knows she is engaged,yet he does crap like that,he cant be much of a friend to her,and if he tries it again I would blame you for punching him in the nose.

I find her reaction to your concerns disrespectful, to say the least. I take my hubby's worries and what-nots very seriously and would never laugh it off...especially if it involves another man in the picture. Also, I don't understand what is so funny about a man taking pictures down my shirt. I think it's rude, barbaric and very childish. No, I don't think it's overbearing of you to be wary about her going to a bar with this guy. I think it's great that you have spoken to her about your concerns. What I think is wrong is your fiancée's reaction to it.

Well I wouldn't say that you are overbearing. He has done something disrespectful while you were out together. I would say that you are more concern. Seeing that you will not be there maybe he will tried something else. Well just see this as an incident, seeing that you were all drunk. If she comes home complaining this time then let her know that you are uncomfortable with her going out with this group.

You are not over reacting. This guy is not someone to be trusted. Friends don't do things like that to their friends; there is a certain amount distance with guy and girl friends if there are really just friends and if there's no malice in any of them. Tell her it's not natural and it's not a joke. Especially to the man she is about to marry. This is where you put your foot down. You are her fiance, you are about to get married, so it's just right that you protect the woman who is to become your wife. This is primarily for her welfare; yours is just secondary.

Be confident. If you're uncomfortable with the way her friend acted, talk to her about it. I wouldn't say you're being overbearing, at all, and I think most people wouldn't be too happy about the situation you describe. Talk to her about it and ask what boundaries she's set with him so you know what to expect. Let her know that it bothers you so she can take your feelings into consideration.

I don't think you're over reacting at all, but how you present this idea to your fiance will determined that. Ove-reacting = YOU CAN'T GO WITH HIM!!! I don't trust him, and..... Reacting properly = (name), you may think his drunken picture taking was a joke, but I think it was very degrading, and that he wasn't treating you with the respect that you deserve. I don't want you to get hurt, and I don't trust this guy. I trust you, but I don't trust him. His behaviour can not be controlled, and if he can't control his own behaviour, I'm afraid that he could be danger o you.