Should I even go through with it?????

I wanted my grandma at my wedding and she lives about 3 hours away, she wouldn't come. I offered to drive down and get her and then take her home the day after the wedding, even though I was going to be getting things together to leave for our honeymoon. She wouldn't come still. She sent me a letter telling me that God told her not to come (which I thought was CRAZY) and that she had a gift for us but we would have to come down to get it. I didn't respond I was way to p*ssed to do so. A few months later we got a check in the mail. I was half tempted to tear it up and send it back but my dad said to keep it. With the card was a letter asking me to send pictures of the wedding. So I wrote a generic thank you and didn't enclose pictures. I totally feel for what you are going through but have your wedding and just make it the best you can make it, don't allow your family to ruin your special day.

i can understand your situation. may be all these days you were wrong understanding all these people.so they behaved this way. is there any reason taht they want to avoud this party? don't be sad. make less arrangements and look for brighter future.

You can't make your family respond in the way you hope they will. You can't change their actions. You CAN, however, control and change how YOU react to their actions. You planned this reception for you and your husband-to-be to celebrate your marriage with family who desires to celebrate with you. So...do it. Why does it matter if two family members show up or 200...? Are those two not important enough? Seems to me, since they are the ones who obviously care to be there, that they are MORE important than the rest. Enjoy your day, enjoy your husband, and enjoy your family and friends who attend the reception. Forget about the rest- you have no control over it and there is no sense at all in fretting over that which you cannot change. The choice is all yours- worry and whine over the rest of the family who is not there and let it ruin your entire day or be happy for the celebration and those who are present with you.

hi ur big day is nearing u shud b happy..why let all this bother u..it is important for u and ur would be husband...make the most of it..ppl may come or not come...those who come will enjoy those who dont make it loss is theirs..have fun with those who care abt u than fret for the others who r not there at all..my wedding hardly any relative cud make it but u can always count on friends and have a blast...tell me I will Come..take care dear..keep the smile on..my best wishes r with u..

It sucks, doesn't it? but you know what? It's not you and your family who's getting married. You would be really unfair to your future husband if you didn't push through knowing that both of you really wanted this and were so excited. Family will always be there, trust me. I'd rather my family didn't come than look even worse than stupid by canceling what I've always wanted. I know you get the picture. On the lighter side, congratulations in advance and I really hope everything works out great for the both of you.

My thoughts are that you are not getting married for your family. If you love this man and want to spend the rest of your life with him. Then let this be your special day and not let the rest of your family take that away from you. Maybe they are just in sensitive jerks,either way it is their loss,they are missing out on seeing you get married.Family can always be dealt with later. I hope you have a wonderful wedding day,and have lots of joyous years ahead of you.

For these reasons, my husband and I eloped. We were not going to let people's issues ruin our special day. We are going to have a party here in Guelph later, but in the meantime, we are already married, and there's not a dang thing anyone can do about it.

I've never gone thru anything like what you described. I, too would be very hurt. I would say something tho, i think. When I got married, many of my family members did not like my husband but they all showed up anyway to offer support and to celebrate my happiness. It bothered me that they did not like him or approve of our marriage but it felt good to know that they cared enough about me to show up and wish us the best. I'm sorry your family is not so supportive. Don't even think of cancelling your wedding plans! This day is not for them....It is for you and your fiancee. Regardless of who shows up, it is your vows to each other that should matter the most of all.

I was having a conversation about this type of thing the other day actually... how people simply don't reply to an R.S.V.P. anymore. Even people who express sincere appreciation at having someone reply to their rsvp will neglect to do the same for someone else. Hopefully, many of the people will be there regardless of them not replying. I know it's hard with catering etc... especially with a wedding. You could always do a 'ring around' to check who is coming (if they haven't replied).

Good day. Congratulations. I know the feeling though I haven't gotten married yet but my situation was like yours, it was my college graduation. No one came from my family not one inspite of inviting them. Imagine no one and to think it was one of the most important achievement of one's life and yet no one came. They have their excuses of course. The seven seats that were reserve for them were empty and I looked pitiful. Good thing one of friend's sister and mother offered to seat on them, making it looked like they were my invited family and saving me from looking like an idiot. I held my hurt feelings just long enough, I try to see the brighter side of it. I came to the conclusion that it really pays to have good friends and occasions like graduations, debut, wedding and wedding anniversary are really for the people who are involved and the people who are more than willing to share that moment with them. So I said to myself Ok, if none came to my graduation then I'm gonna celebrate it with my friends who were their with me, who spared their time with me. These are the kind of people worth celebrating with. I say to you go on with your wedding, it concerns you and your fiancee primarily, others are just witnesses and observers what matters is that you wanted to marry him and he wanted to marry you. Wedding is naturally for the bride and the groom and nobody else's. It's better to have a half empty church with a bride or groom than to have a fully seated church but no bride or groom wouldn't you say?

First of all, BIG hugs to you! I went through something similar with my brother. It was heartbreaking because I only have one sibling and when he got married, I was there 100% of the way - my parents and I arranged EVERYTHING and I even entertained and played host to his friends, colleagues and in-laws at the wedding reception. When it was my turn, I got a huge shock. In my case, I chose to sign the papers first so I asked my brother if he could be one of the two witnesses at the signing ceremony. He turned me flat down, saying that he refused to be the witness because my hubby was jobless at that time. (My hubby had just completed his contract in Singapore and was moving back to France to attend several job interviews.) He went on to further say that he disapproved of me marrying my hubby for this very reason. My parents were naturally disappointed and so was I. When my brother got married, he was just a student and relying on my parents for allowance and all the spending on the wedding. My parents and my in-laws never opposed to the fact that he was a student, 24 and not working. When I went ahead with it anyway with my parents as the two witnesses, I was never congratulated by either my brother or my sister-in-law. My mum tried to soften the blow by saying that maybe he's just watching out for me and etc. Then when it came to the preparations, my parents and I did everything. All my brother did was attend and show up with his camera to play photographer even though I hired a professional. When I asked if we ought to invite my sister-in-law's siblings as per custom, he couldn't even answer me properly! During the ceremony, he was nice and friendly to everyone, contrary to how he acts with my hubby and me in private. He never EVER talks to my hubby except to grill him as to what his plans were and so forth. When my hubby got a good job in Switzerland, my brother never bothered with a congratulations - my parents were naturally happy because he finally found something after so long but my brother? Just silence. When my in-laws came to Malaysia a few days ahead of the wedding, naturally my parents and I entertained them by taking them out for dinner and etc. My brother made such a big deal by saying things like how he would be busy, he won't be able to join and so forth. My in-laws once said that they had no idea that I had a brother because 1) I rarely mention him (I have nothing great or even mundane to share about him), and 2) they never see him in pics or etc. When I got pregnant, it was the same. When I had my miscarriage, all my sister-in-law said was "Good to hear that you're doing okay". No advice, no comforting words, just that. I have long numbed myself to this crap. I tell myself all the time that this is just how he is and that it won't ever change. It is something that I shouldn't feel disappointed about...but it sure doesn't help - occasionally, I feel it especially considering that my hubby's only sister is the exact opposite. I just do my part, be nice and that's it. Nothing overly great or out of this world.

You were'nt born into this wold to live up to my expectations and I was'nt born to live up to yours. We each go our own way, and if we meet and come together, its beautiful. Do your own thing, dont live for others or what they think of you, they are the losers,

The one thing that I have for advice is don't be mad at those that don't come it will only ruin your relationship with them. And be very happy with those that do come, enjoy their company, and build those relationships even more. I congratulate you on your wedding and may the sun shine on that beautiful day.

Yes, I have some advice. I think you knew before all the plans started that some of your family would not be there. I wouldn't take so hard. You learn alot about people when things like this come up. I would hold my head high and enjoy your day. As far as the partying goes perhaps you could make an announcement before the wedding or at the resepction. It is a time to celebrate. Don't look for things to worry about. This is your special day and people should respect that.