How do you punish your kids?

I am only seventeen, but I have a few thoughts on the subject. I think a child needs to know the difference between a reward and a punishment. A child needs to take a punishment seriously, and take a reward for what it is. I feel like a spoiled brat when I say that I was never really punished. I have never been grounded, so I cannot speak for those children. But I can say what not to do when I observe how my mother handles my sister: When a parent gives a punishment, don't back down from it! A two week grounding is a two week grounding. No phone is no phone. Far too often these days to parents remove a privilege only to cave in that afternoon or days later before the child behaves appropriately.

Well, my kids are grown now, but their dad and I agreed on a three strike and you are out rule. But no matter what you do..both parents have to agree to it, let the kids know you do and what the rules are and STICK TO IT LIKE GLUE! We mainly gave times out and talked to the kids about what they did wrong, why it was wrong and how that effected others around. Thye got times out in their rooms, and toys they liked, or electronics, etc..were taken away! But we never ruled out a swat on the behind. (Just one, on the behind only and only IF they did the same offense three times and would NOT listen to reason. And an instant swat, though, WITH a time out and restrictions on toys, etc..if it was a SAFETY issue! If they ran into the road without looking, example...an INSTANT one swat on the behind. Then the other punishments along wiht that.) Usually, one minute for each year of life up to age 10 works for a time out. Once they are 10..that's not enough and then we go in hours. Worked for us. As time went on, they didn't test it much. And now they are grown ups wiht no scrapes with the law, married or in college and doing real well!(I took my daughter's phone away once when she was 18 and she told me "I might as well have taken her LIFE! LOL! Well, when it would ring..Her brothers would kid around and say.."Your LIFE is ringing! Too bad you can't answer it!")

in the philippines, the old fashioned spanking is the common way of punishing the kids. My father used to spank us with his belt if we did something wrong.. and all i can say is, it really hurts..very very much.lol.. the spank would leave a mark on my legs (like the shape of the belt). thats why we are so afraid to disobey my fathers rules. The last time i was spank by my father was when i was in high school. They say, too big to be punished and spank. lol..But then, i was never mad with my father nor put any hatred in my heart because his way of disciplining us, made me what and who i am now..

All you have to do is look at the way kids behave these days to answer that. I don't ever remember being spanked although my mother assures me I was...lol. I think some kids do need a good spanking from time to time. I do not spank my daughter because we are very fair complected and the first time I spanked her it left a mark. I sat and cried and although my ex assured me I had not hit her hard I never raised my hand to her again. Luckily she responded well to time-outs and now to being grounded. That being said if she really needed it I would not hesitate. In a society where kids threaten their parents with child abuse accusations it is hard for a parent to give a punishment that actually has a lasting effect on some children. In an age where children will look at their parents and say "you can't do anything about it," kids get away with a lot of things they would not have years ago. I actually think some kids should be spanked and let them call the police. They will find that being placed in state care will be a lot harder than being in mommy and daddy's home. I don't believe in beating children. I do think some kids are in serious need of a spanking, while others react well to alternative punishments. The way things are going though, pretty soon it will be wrong to slap their hands for touching the stove and we will have thousands of kids in the hospital with burned hands. We need to get back to the middle of the road. Spank the ones who need it when they need it, but let's not overdo it. We really aren't doing kids any favors by not punishing them for wrongs they commit.

I have only one biological child and she is too young for me to punish, but I have two step children and when they get in trouble I usually smack them on the hand or put them in time-out. People say that time-out is bad because you are putting your child in solitude and they say smacking on the hand is bad because it's violent. People say that spanking children is bad because it's abuse. Do these people have children of thier own? If so I would like to know how they discipline thier children because that's rediculous.

Giving them time outs is a good punishment. Each time out is for the amount of time that is their age. If they are 3 then the time out is for 3 minutes. I give my grand son a chance and if the wrong activity continues then he is put in the time out. He hates it and usually I don't have to do anything more than threaten him with a time out and he stops whatever it is he is doing. Another disciplinary action is tell the child ahead of time what you expect of him or her. You tell him this is what is expected and if he does it you will take him to that movie he wants to see or buy him the new toy he has his eye on. give him insentive to be good. Make sure you follow through. Being consistant is VERY important. And, be sure to praise them when they are good. Also very important.

We spank and do room time or corner time if they misbehave. I don't think there is anything wrong with a good ol' fashioned spanking if the child needs it. I don't agree in using objects though. I firmly believe if my hand isn't good enough then they don't need spanked. I was raised getting the belt a time or 2 and I don't agree with that one bit. I chose to make the change and not use an object on my kids. I was told by my sons preschool that if you swat your kid more then once then it is child abuse. Oh please...child abuse is if you leave marks and hit everywhere but there butts.

There is an old saying, spare the rod and spoil the child. There is a difference between a swat on the bottom and beating your child. And I also believe different disciplines for different behaviors. Both my daughters are now grown and they had a spanken or two but now a days parents are threatened with that they will have CPS called on them if they spank their child.

I think not spank the kids is better. They do not know which is good ,which is bad ? We should tell them these things. We should let them know reward or punishment.

it is not necessary to punish ur child. if u punish ur child is bed affect to ur child so pls . don't punish ur child.the kids are convience to the throuht and don'handle roudly.

I posted a simular question one time. I was amazed by how many people still believe in a good old fashioned spanking. I believe in spanking. As for the spanking it's self, I think it depends on the offense and that the kid knows ahead of time what will get him or her a spanking. I didn't raise my first two that way. If they did something that warrented it I tore them up. It didn't kill them and they'll tell you today that they got it when they needed it and sometimes when they didn't. I don't operate like that anymore, I let them know what I expect and what will happen if they do what ever it is that I told them not to do. Here is an example, two days ago I told my eight-year-old grandson and five-year-old nephew, 'Do not touch the puppies, do not put the puppies in the pool' I was shocked out of my skull when I glanced out the window and there were two puppies doing the crawl in the pool. I came unglued. I became irate. My jaw dropped, my hair stood on end and I think my blood pressure sky rocketed. I flew out there, grabbed the pups out of the ice cold water. Told my nephew to go home right now, don't even bother getting your clothes, go in your underware. My grandson, I told him to drop is suit on the porch, and go strait to his uncles room. There was no way I could have spanked them. I was madder than a hornet, and they knew it. Did they need a spanking? Yes they did. They openly defied me. They're not stupid kids. The only reason they got off as easy as they did is I wasn't going to blister one without blistering the other. And I had already sent one home. What I should have done was make them both come in the house, gave myself a chance to get a grip on myself, then applied a little reward to their hindquarters. The next day the whole process started over again. They were both as humble as baby lambs. They reassured me over and over again that they wouldn't bother the puppies. And they didn't. I kept hearing them reassuring each other about why they couldn't bother the pups, about why it was bad to put them in the pool.

Well i think that every child is different and different forms of punishment wont affect every child. One needs to learn the personality of each child and discipline accordingly. some children need a good old fashioned spanking, not anything that physically harms the child mind you, but a spanking none the less. Then some children simply need to lose different various privileges such as their allowance or tv for a period of time. then still other children will just get a stern look from their parents and thats all they need for discipline. sometimes it takes all those things. To say one is wrong or "Politically" incorrect is absolute foolishness to me. much the reason why we have the problem we have these days is due to lack of discipline in all its forms.

I agree that there is times when a good spanking is in order provided the parent is in control and not spanking out of anger.Punishment,timeout etc. work well to.But I think what has the best effect is positive reinforcement Whenever you see your child respond in the way you would want.For instance if a child tells you the truth acknowledge that you are happy he told the truth.If he doesn't scream the next time he is disappointed make sure he knows you noticed.Things like that,a lot of time (not all ) children misbehave to get our attention.That doesn't mean we aren't giving them enough but if you are on the phone you can bet a child is going to find a way to interrupt you.I say tell the child before you get on the phone that if he is good while you chat for a few and don't interrupt I will do something with you when I am done.Then be sure and do something like color or read him a book and say see I am happy you didn't interrupt me so we are having a good time together instead of me yelling at you or punishing you. I hope I don't sound too preachy but just my thoughts,a little long winded I am I am LOL. Jas

I think that the best way is make kid understand what did it done wrong. I don't think that spanking is any solution. Same for the other ideas of punishing. If kid will understand what and why something is wrong then there won't be any repeats of such a mistake. Ofcourse there are exceptions. Parent should then talk with kid why did it done it, maybe there are some reasons in it that is not kids foult. If it isn't learning at all at the mistakes then I think baning TV, computer etc is the only reasonable way but I don't think that still it is good.

I can only respond based on my life experiences and within the context of the culture I grew up in. Spanking has never been considered taboo by any of my elders. In fact, spanking a child is a normal practice in disciplining wayward children. I am not going to deny that there are parents that go overboard and what they do can be categorized as abuse. But a little spanking won't hurt when the child has repeatedly and deliberately defied the rules that has been established. Note that before corporal punishment is applied the child must understand clearly that the rules are non-negotiable and the punishment is expected. This makes the child responsible for whatever deed was done and will help the child learn to accept the punishment as a consequence. The opposite of punishment, reward, will have to be as equally intense and defined. This way everything is balanced.

I have and do spank my children if they need it. I don't mean beat them i mean spank them. I also ground and take away priviliages when necessary because i want my children to know right from wrong and that there are boundries that you don't cross without paying a price for it. And when i set a punishment it is carried through reguardless of how upset, cranky or irritating they get, because if they are raised that they can somehow get by without paying the price then when they are grown they will think exactly that and it will be my fault that they end up in trouble. And if they want to call cps on me i will pack their clothes for them!