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Do your friends make you feel poor?
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
June 8, 2008 12:32pm CST
Did you feel poor growing up? Did your friends have more toys and nicer homes, which made you feel poor or less advantaged? Do you feel poor or less lacking now, when you see how successful your friends are?
Back in the day when I was a kid, we were extremely poor at times. But, most times I didn't really know it. Noone talked about being poor. We just were. And, our friends were poor too, so we all had the same stuff. We didn't drive fancy cars or live in fancy houses, and neither did our friends.
Now that I'm all grown up, I don't consider myself poor. We don't have lots of extra money. But, my friends are definitely richer than me. They have better cars and houses and seeing those things sometimes makes me look poor in comparison. I guess it's all about perception.
I don't feel poor, no matter what they have. To me, being rich is just a state of mind. I'm just as happy without the money. My kid has the same toys that their kids have. I spend my money on toys and stuff for my child. They have just a bit extra to spend on a fancier home or newer car. But, I don't feel like I'm doing without or could have something better.
How do you feel when a friend buys a new car or better home? Do you wish you had the money for the same?
6 people like this
32 responses
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
8 Jun 08
I don't consider myself being the richest and I don't consider myself being the poorest. I never really thought about it really. I don't get jealous when someone has something that I don't. I think we are all pretty much the same. Yes there are a few that don't have the money at times but that is just the way life goes.
1 person likes this
@ruby222 (4847)
•
10 Jun 08
We certainly werent rich when we were growing up..but then we had everything thsat we desperately needed....as we ahve got older we have been richer and poorer..but as long sas we have food and clothes and the roof above our heads then we can count opurselves very lucky I think...
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
10 Jun 08
I agree! Even tiny blessings are real blessings. No matter the size of the blessing, it is still welcome in our home.
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
8 Jun 08
Sometimes I feel poor, especially when i see what some other people have. For example, my daughter and I clean houses for a living and one of our clients has a jet plane that seats 10 peaople, a smaller engine plane that seats 4 people and they just bought a brand new helicopter that seats 6 people. I feel poor when I am cleaning their house because they have it all. They have 4 daughters that are adults and married with choldren, and they have it all too. I don't know what any of these people do for a living but obviously they do something that pays very well. I am sure these planes he owns are worth at least 2 million, so they have to have a lot of money to buy such expensive toys.
But normally I don't feel poor and I make a pretty good living and I can go out and spend money without worrying too much. Of course I can't be foolish with my money, but I am not counting every panny I have, not any more.
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
8 Jun 08
We all feel poor compared to the super rich. Even rich people feel poor compared to those people and celebrities. But, they are always trying to be richer and have more money. More! More! More! It's never enough. You can still be happy with the wonderful things you already have and people that love you. Take time for things you like to do, like watching TV or hobbies and you'll acheive inner peace the super rich will never know.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
8 Jun 08
I am glad for my mother, she always tell us not to be inferior to no one whether they have money yes or no. Because of this I never feel inferior to no one. I have friends who has money and they always ask me how do I feel around them. I let them know that they are my friends and their wealth is no biggie for me. The bible says that one should not covet (red eye) and I always have this in my mind all the times. So I live a simple life that I enjoy alot. My sisters are very wealthy and I do not feel anything but love for them. I pray for them and their children that they live to be strong and have a longer life.
Wishing for things other have only makes you do events that are wrong in the sight of God and man. This is the reason alot of persons steal and kill because they covet what another have. It is best that you love what God has offer you and if he sees that you deserve to have me he will bless you accordingly.
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
8 Jun 08
It is such a sad situation when someone covets the property of another. And it never leads to good things. I am happy that you are happy with your life. Be well. Many blessings upon you.
@izzuyasha (348)
• Malaysia
8 Jun 08
I never feel poor and I don't feel rich either.I never desire things that I can't afford maybe that's why I never feel poor.When I see other people buys new toys,I see it as things that I can live without.Sure,they feel happy when they get new things,but after a few days it will become old and they will throw it away.I see it as a complete waste if I bought the same thing.Some people are not happy even when they have more money than I can dream of.They still feel poor even when they're driving a $1.5mil BMW.For me,life is not about being rich,it's about feeling rich!
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
8 Jun 08
I take my cues from Angelina Jolie. She gives about 1/3 of her income to charities. I don't have that much to give. I do what I can. But, it is nice to know that some rich people are not greedy and understand their unique position to help others in need. Be well.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
8 Jun 08
I grew up poor as well. We didn't know it either. Now a days, I am still strapped but I am rich in what counts. Family, friends, loved ones and the people I know. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and a couple of dollars in my pocket. I am very rich indeed!
@naty1941 (2336)
• United States
9 Jun 08
When you consider that I live in the richest nation of the world (USA) I am rich in comparison to many people in the world. So I don't feel poor as I have enough to eat, have a roof over my head, and have medical insurance. So poverty depends on your attitude. I am not poor even though I am always broke.
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
9 Jun 08
I grow up in a poor environment.. Though we have a flat of our own, but my parents ahve to support it by renting out one of the rooms and so that our family of 4 will sleep together in a room.. But still, that's not enough.. My dad has to work two jobs in order to feed us..
WHen i started school, my pocket money was always lesser than wat my frenz got from their parents.. THus i always envy them that they can eat and buy anything that they wanted.. As for me, i have to ask for extra from my parents and in the end, i will only get a earful of scoldings.. LOL ^_^
BUt when i started to work, i realise that money dun come easy and we should spend it wisely.. Thus till date, I only have the basics things at home, but that's enough.. After all, i only want my home to be comfortable.. TO me, simple is beauty.. There isn't a need to be envy of others as everybody as got different needs and attitudes in life ^_^
@dandan07 (1906)
• China
10 Jun 08
When I was young, I always find that I do not have things that most of my friends have. My mother did not buy me toys. So that I can not share my toys with my friends.
At that time, my friends thought I was not kind enough, and have a long time I have to suffer stay at home, for no child want to play with me.
Now when I grow up, I still do not form the habit to share things with other people, and very hard to make frind with strange ones.
So if I have my own children, I will try to make them have all the thing their friends have, so that they can have a normal childhood.
@seagullkang (109)
•
9 Jun 08
Hmmm ,I also have this kind of experience ...
May be we shoud have the mind that we are both rich ,even richer in the spirit world .It's true ,but I think for me ,the most result of the comparation between our background ,our family ,is the restronge of my heart of get out of this kind of situation ,I must work hard to get what i want ...
Because it's said that the wealth can limit our mind and our action ,which i do believe .And i want to get out of the limitation and also give my child a better condition ... So i wish i can be like them and i will make it be true...
@WATARIKENJI (1534)
• Philippines
9 Jun 08
Material possessions are not signs of wealth. Money earned is considered wealth and not money spent. It is more fulfilling to be wealthy with health, friends and loved ones.
@WATARIKENJI (1534)
• Philippines
9 Jun 08
Material are not signs of wealth. Money earned is considered wealth and not money spent. It si more fulfilling to wealthy with health, friends and loved ones.
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
9 Jun 08
Well I had a lot of rich school mates when I was growing up but I never really felt poor myself. I guess it's just that I didn't have that "competitive" mind. I think rich and poor is a relative meaning and is comparative terms. When I don't compare my situation with other people, I don't feel myself being poor or rich.
@brianhanson37 (120)
• United States
9 Jun 08
Out of my group of friends, I either have stuff just as nice, if not nicer than them, so no, I never feel poor around them.
@crixiegreen (195)
• Philippines
9 Jun 08
we had our own house when we were little but since i was close to my grandma i would often sleep over at her place. my uncle lived with her so i see my cousins all the time. i never felt poor or anything but they would always make me and siblings feel that we were. when our parents separated we were taken in by our grandparents and they would make us feel that we didnt belong. always make us feel that it was not our house, we dont have money or they would always brag about the stuff they had. albeit their selfish and proud upbringing, they were still considered to be the good kids. we were always the black sheep albeit they never heard anything from us.
i never really felt poor coz right now i feel i have achieved more than they had but they continue to act as if we owe them a lot and maltreat us whenever we go pay a visit. i know its not right for me to say this but i wish that they deserved to be punished for all their wrong doings.
@Timothy31 (649)
• United States
9 Jun 08
Nah it doesn't bother me when a friend has money to buy something they really want or need. I'm glad they have the money to spend on something they may need or really want but i don't feel poor just because they have the money to buy something.
@shilpa_p (198)
• India
9 Jun 08
Hi.I was reminded of my school days while reading your dicussion.Yes i was poor when in school and my classmates-i wouldn't call them friends cuz they were the meanest kids ever always had exquisite things.From shoes to clothes to money they carried to school.I must admit it really has affected my self worth.I developed a feeling of being less worthy.Lots of people may say thats stupid and put forward various theories saying it doesn't matter.But the fact of the matter is that only people who experience it will understand what i'm talking about.I'm not complaining but YES it has made a huge impact on the kind of person i've become.Only recently have i started giving myself more importance due to many reasons contributing.I'm not as bad off as i used to be but its stil a daily struggle not to be disheartened.
@rachel_law (17)
• China
9 Jun 08
I didn't feel poor when I was a kid because most of us were more or less the same. Only several kids came from rich families and they didn't show off much.
When I grew up and go to college, I have a lot of friends coming from rich families. They can afford what they want, designer clothes, expensive makeups, gadgets,etc and they're picked up by their parents' nice cars to spend the weekends at home. And yet I still don't feel that I'm poor. I am not used to live an extravagant way, so I don't feel especially deprived or that I should live that kind of life. Of course, having money makes things a lot easier. For example, signing up for a certification test, taking piano class and actually buying a piano, traveling once in a while...but coming from a modest family makes me feel driven and work/study harder for what I don't have.
Truth is, I don't usually compare with my friends and feel ashame.
