Are you a people pleaser
By Grandmaof2
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
Canada
June 10, 2008 12:01am CST
Are you a people pleaser or do you set standards for yourself no matter what others what you to do? Funny how two people with the same parents grown up together can be so opposite. I have a young brother who is a totsl follower, then there's me. I know how to say NO and I know how to walk away from a bad situation without being part of it. How about you?
5 people like this
21 responses
@gerald_lian (2188)
• Australia
10 Jun 08
I remember in the past I did a lot of things to please the people around me. I don't know why, but last time I love to please adults so that they are fond of me. Maybe I'm just greedy for some praise or goodies, that's why. But now that I'm "old" enough, I'm no more a people pleaser but rather I set standards for myself and I try to emulate myself instead of what standards people try to put into me. Some people might not like what I'm doing, but if they can't accept who I am, then they should just back off. But of course, as a Christian, there's someone I'm always trying to please: GOD! 
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
10 Jun 08
I was quick to rate you a + because not just everyone can think and post like you did. Thank You for your response.
1 person likes this
@gerald_lian (2188)
• Australia
10 Jun 08
Thanks for the +! It was just random thoughts that come off my mind when I was typing the response.....didn't know that we had to THINK when we respond!
@honeydew82174 (1720)
• United States
10 Jun 08
I use to be a people pleaser. Now I think for myself. Only took me 30yrs!!!!!!!!!! Thank goodness I learned.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Heh you learnt, that's the important thing my friend.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Would this be a good time to ask you for a favor or perhaps a loan? Just kidding weemam, you're a good friend. Take Care.
1 person likes this
@money_maker01 (1097)
• Malaysia
10 Jun 08
Hi Grandmaof2, thanks for coming with this topic. I am a people pleaser for those people that I love most including my cats.LOLOL. I tried my best to please although I know they just hurt me so much.Just find me when they are in such problems and so on. It's kind of sad, but still I give them so many chances till in one time that I couldn't accept them in my life no more.Only in that time I only could express NO to them. It happened once. Now on it happens to me again but from my own family. I don't know what to do. I'm totally stuck but try to give my best smile to her 
I cried so much in my heart. I only could pray to God to help me in this. I can't mad on her but totally upset with my own self for this.
. I tried my best to please although I know they just hurt me so much.Just find me when they are in such problems and so on. It's kind of sad, but still I give them so many chances till in one time that I couldn't accept them in my life no more.Only in that time I only could express NO to them. It happened once. Now on it happens to me again but from my own family. I don't know what to do. I'm totally stuck but try to give my best smile to her I cried so much in my heart. I only could pray to God to help me in this. I can't mad on her but totally upset with my own self for this.@money_maker01 (1097)
• Malaysia
10 Jun 08
Thanks to you grandmaof2, thanks for the advice. I know I could do nothing on her. Just let she be like that. I only want to see how much she sincere to me and how much she loves me. I do realize that she only pretends to like me for money.For now on, I must find my best solution without counting on her favor. Everything that leads to my future is depends on me totally now. Dear God, please help me..
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
10 Jun 08
I wish you much happiness and good luck. Talking to God and asking for assistance is always a good choice. Take care.
2 people like this
@janiceancajas (227)
• Philippines
10 Jun 08
Before I want to please everyone my family, relatives, neighbors, and friends. I do not want anyone to hate me so, I did things that I didn't like. But lately I realized that am just making hard and not honest with myself. I am busy pleasing other which I forgot to look into my happiness and what I want to do with my life. Now, I say to people whats in my heart and mind. I'll see to it that there's a limitation in helping others. Just like helping others to learn how to fish rather than giving them fish everyday. If I feel that someone abuse my goodness, I will tell them straight that what they are doing is not good. I only please my family coz there are no other people that will care for you in times of needing and most of all God, our creator.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Well I'm glad you are now looking after your own needs first. You can still be nice to people but we all need to know where to draw the line. Thank You for your comments.
1 person likes this
@shilpa_p (198)
• India
10 Jun 08
I think evryone goes through a phase where they measure their worth in terms of how the people around them think of them.I went through that phase too.I was constantly seeking approval of my friends for every little thing i did.Eventually i grew up and my priorities have changed.Now i don't care about pleasing anyone except my family and God.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Keep up the good work, and Thank You for answering my post.
1 person likes this
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
10 Jun 08
I gave up years ago trying to please everyone. I learned from my exs family you just cant please some people no matter what you try and do. I just try and make sure I do what would make God happy thats the only person im trying to make happy. If what i do makes others happy too then great.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
I don't think you'll ever go too far wrong you sound like you have everything under control.
1 person likes this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Oh my I used to be the worlds biggest people pleaser, I would drag a broken leg to work just to please the boss, I bailed out more friends in financial trouble than most banks and helped any one who asked. I say used to be, but not any more, all I did was set myself up to be used time and time again, and when you are a target you get hit quite often, So now I do what I want , when I want and how I want if I want to. I do not have near the friends I used to but I have a lot more money and a lot more self esteem, so now I am the winner. great discussion as always
Robin
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Robin I have to disagree with one thing you said, I quote,
"I do not have near the friends I used to" .....I'm sorry but they weren't friends if all they did was use you. If I called you up and said Robin I am in real big trouble and I need 50.00 and you gave it to me. That doesn't make you a friend, it makes you anything from kind,generous caring, compassionate or perhaps just stupid. If on the other hand I called you up and said I need help, I need someone to talk to because ?????and you offered to give an ear and listen to me and all my troubles now that's a friend. Why did I say all this? I'm going to be honest. You and I have never met and unfortunately we probably never will. If I still lived in Penticton B.C. maybe but with my finances probably not. After I was on myLot for a short time I wrote how scared I was of surgery and how I was worried about my health. I will never forget you wrote if I was ever sent to your area to let you know and you would love to come see me. Now That's A Friend. I will never forget your kindness Robin.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
You got it together I can tell. Take Care my dear friend.
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
10 Jun 08
I am more like you as I think other people need to please themselves and not expect me to nurture them every minute. Actually, I am pretty nurturing, but never co-dependent. If someone wants me to nurture them, they had better nurture back.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4344)
• Australia
10 Jun 08
i suppose years ago i was a people pleaser,but not anymore.i have had to many people use my kindnes and take advantage of me.even now at work,because i am a hard worker,people tend to still use me,they do less work,when i do more,so i will have to stop that in its tracks at the moment.cheers sue
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Oh do I know what you're talking about with being at work. It's funny how people are so quick to see who they can walk all over. I was always a good worker too, but not stupid. I used the golden rule you scratch my back I'll scratch yours. I covered a lot of shifts for co workers but when I was sick I expected them to return the favor.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
I've done a lot for people too but not in a stupid way. The world we live in today we sure have to keep a clear mind.
1 person likes this
@ramyashreesk (1021)
• India
10 Jun 08
Hey! am one like your brother, who tries to please, because i like people and being liked by everybody i feel good. I have a great ambition in my life to become immortal one day, by being good and known for goodness and virtuosity.
LOL LOL, its tuff i know.
Have fun,
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
10 Jun 08
I used to be a people pleaser but not anymore. I used to let people walk all over me. I got tired of it. I never got anything back in return. I used to try so hard to do whatever it took to get people to like me and want to be my friend. I soon learned after doing that so many time, that it got me nowhere fast. I do what I want to do now and do not go out of my way just to please everyone else. I have learned how to say no. I hate that life has made me this way, but i got tired of being told what to do and being used.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
10 Jun 08
Good for you. We need to please ourselves first and yes I do know what you mean life itself has a way of making decissions for us all the time. Thank You for your response. +
1 person likes this
@michael13 (160)
• China
10 Jun 08
yes, I am a person pleaser, because I never think about grass always green but on the other side of the fence, and I never to keep up with the Joneses, I have one reason for happy each day, we are the people, we are the different people who have different purposes in lifetime.
the easier you are, the happier you are.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
10 Jun 08
Thank You for your response. Hope you are always a happy person.
1 person likes this
@Zergonipal (807)
• Poland
10 Jun 08
It all depends on the situation. Sometimes I am follower couse it's easier and if something will start to bother me about the situation I can stand and say no.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Just as long as you can maintain and keep yourself safe that's the most important thing. Thank You for your response.
1 person likes this
@breezetang (2)
• China
10 Jun 08
I'm the latter one.one can do what he or she thinks right.everyone has his or her standard.we can not please everyone.so be ourselves.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Very good thinking indeed and Thank You so much for sharing.
1 person likes this
@wabuser (114)
• China
10 Jun 08
Well it kind of depends of what situation you war in, I often am a people pleaser to people who are new and those who im unfamiliar with. but it takes a lot of effort to make them very please or like you so i try not to do it too often with people like my friends or parents as there is absolutly no poin. Whenever I am not being a people pleaser i just set my own standards and go with it, simple as that
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
Sounds to me like you have your head on straight. Thank You for your comments and Stay Safe.
1 person likes this
