Are you a pushover?

Hi There, I have learned the hard way in life that a pushover is not the way to be. People sense it and will jump all over that. Being taken advantage of is an understatement! I have also learned not to go too far the other way as that is just as bad and in some cases worse. I try to reach a middle ground where I stand firm in my beliefs, but have some flexibility. cheers,

I wouldn't consider this a pushover. This is some of the attributes that I have. But after awhile you have to take a stand especially given up your rights whenever there is a dispute. Person will just start one with you so that they will come out the winner. It is nice to do charities. I always enjoy doing it, it give me as sense of caring and responsibility. Don't label yourself as a pushover more as a God fearing person who know that having love instead of them is better then storing hatred. Enjoy being who you are and do not change for another person.

Yes I am a huge pushover. I have an awful time refusing people or saying no. However, I stand on my own two feet when it comes to our kids or my husband. I am such a softie that I end up going places or doing things that I really don't want to do. I hate to shop but will go with our kids. I'm not real fond of dogsitting for one of our kids also but do it all the time. I have never refused. I think it may stem back to my childhood by always wanting to please my mother. I've always been a people pleaser and will probably leave this world as a famous people pleaser..lol I could learn to be more assertive and say no but then I think someone will either get angry or be unhappy with my decision. I like an easy life, no conflict.

I am your polar opposite.I have always been stubborn. when I say no. I mean it and I am not afraid to say it to friends, family or even bosses. I am never rude when I say no. There is away to say it respectfully and I that's what I do.You have started changing. You have recognized that you have a problem and you want to change. Suggestion. Whenever you are asked to do something or to give money, don't rush to answer. Sit down and listen to the little voice inside. Then do what feels right.It is okay to say no to something that will make you feel bad or that demeans yourself.

I used to be a pushover but I am becoming a person that says NO and let me tell you sometimes it feel so good to say NO I changed my pushoverness because I started thinking of myself and when someone would take advantage of me they where being selfish and so I thought it was time for me to play the selfish card. I say yes to somethings but only when I know in my heart I should say yes.

I was a huge pushover when I was younger. Not so much anymore. Okay not even the wee ittyest bit. What did I do...I pushed back and I pushed back again. I'm not aggressive or confrontational but I wont back down once someone pushes me either. If it's new to you, you are going to be afraid and it's going to feel unnatural to you but in time you will feel more at home with not letting others wipe their feet on you. Practice makes perfect.

Yes my friend I am definitely a pushover , I have been all my life and I think I am now to old to change :) .

I am far from a pushover. I can not be pushed, and I am not afraid to let people know what I really think. I am not the kind of person who'd make a pushover of someone else either. I am content to leave people alone, if they leave me alone.

I'm a real pushover when it comes to people who ask for homework. I guess I just hate disappointing people if I say no to their face. I know that I shouldn't allow myself to let people copy my homework once I'm in college. I should just offer to help them with their homework next time anyone asks.

I used to be a big pushover because I just could not say no to people. I wanted to but felt the need to always say yes to them. I got the point of where I got tired of it. Alot of people used me. I then learned how to say no to them. they got mad but I didn't care. They didn't show me any respect to begin with anyway. People will use people and never return a favor to them. People have to know when to say no to someone if they do not want to do something. I got tired of doing what others wanted me to do. I do what I want to do now and I have learned how to say no to them.

Yes and no. I think I was a pushover with different things in relation with my mother...it took me many years to realize how sabotaging and manipulating she had been in my life...but once I "woke" up then no..I stood up to her...and boy she didn't care for that...LOL In general though, no, I'm not a pushover...if someone, like a pushy salesperson is trying to persuade me to buy something I don't need, I don't...I don't give in to donating to charities...one simply because of finances, but many charities are scams anyway, at least from the viewpoint that if ALL the money donated went for the cause it would be one thing, but so many charities grab like 70 percent for overhead costs and only 30 percent goes to the actual cause...that doesn't sound right to me. Most of the time I just go with my gut feelings..if something just doesn't feel right to me now I just won't be persuaded to do what I don't want to do, no matter how "charming" the other person may be

Oh yes. I"m actually currently dealing with my latest incident. I don't think I'll ever learn. I have learned to say no to salespeople and telemarketers and such. Still when it comes to day to day stuff, I am a big sucker. check out some of my discussions and you will see that you are not alone at all.

I can relate. I come from a loud, dominating family and I was always the quiet one (in fact I still am). This meant that when I was younger, I was just kind of pulled into things, even if it was something I didn't want to do. Even at work, I can find it difficult to say no, even if I'm at maximum capacity. I think a lot of being a pushover comes from not wanting to let anyone down. So we try and do everything for everyone so no one is disappointed with us. As to changing the behaviour, for me, moving overseas by myself and working in China as an English teacher helped me to become stronger. Of course that's not an option for everyone though! The only other method I've ever heard about is to practice saying 'no' to people, starting off with little things before gradually building up to those larger situations that you would have normally gone along with.

Well I used to refer to myself as "the doormat" in my previous marriage. Like you, that wasn't a compliment but was a sad description of what my marriage was like. After over 20 years of abuse I said ENOUGH, and got divorced. Now I've learned to stand up for myself, say no when needed and be happier in the process. Sometimes it just takes enough of the world pushing at you before you finally say enough and put a stop to being pushed around.

Yes, I am. I'm sometimes able to say no these days. I tell phone solicitors that I have spent all my donation dollars for the year. A friend of mind says she doesn't agree with phone solicitation so she has nothing to do with it. I think that's a good response. I'm also gullible. I believe what people tell me. Even though in retrospect they were telling me a glaring lie...I still believe what people say.