who softens you down when you are really mad?
By zer0charly
@zer0charly (5614)
Philippines
June 16, 2008 3:30am CST
before, no one can pacify me whenever I am mad or I don't feel like talking.. when you hear me saying, "please don't talk to me"., or "I am not in the mood right now"., or if I have this poker face, no one should make fun of me, or try to talk to me.. and if you force me to talk to you, you will for sure get a verbal bashing.
well, I believe that was before, but now, whenever I am mad over something, the two persons who really knows how to handle my anger were my dad, and my boyfriend.
with my dad, most of the time, he's always the reason on why I am mad. LOL. so he better do something to pacify me. 
talking to him really calms me down. just to look at his face whenever he jokes over something, makes me laugh also even if I am so mad..
I am my dad's strength, so I don't want him to see me affected over some things, and don't want to see me crying, or got pissed off. well, because if I let him see me that way, he'll be the one who'll get mad, and crap! I really don't know how to handle his anger.LOL.
with my boyfriend, I know that sometimes, I shouted at him, and that I get mad at him also without any reasons at all...
even though I am doing that thing to him, he would just listen and understand what I feel. or he will just let me, until I feel OK. he knows how to take away my anger just by making me laugh.. then later on, I'll feel better..
people closest to our heart are the one who can calm us down whenever we don't feel good, or we are mad over somethings, and I am so grateful for having my dad, and my boyfriend, the two persons who softens me down when I am mad..
how about you?.. who calms/softens you down when you are mad, and how did they do it?..
have fun responding!
talking to him really calms me down. just to look at his face whenever he jokes over something, makes me laugh also even if I am so mad..
I am my dad's strength, so I don't want him to see me affected over some things, and don't want to see me crying, or got pissed off. well, because if I let him see me that way, he'll be the one who'll get mad, and crap! I really don't know how to handle his anger.LOL.
with my boyfriend, I know that sometimes, I shouted at him, and that I get mad at him also without any reasons at all...
even though I am doing that thing to him, he would just listen and understand what I feel. or he will just let me, until I feel OK. he knows how to take away my anger just by making me laugh.. then later on, I'll feel better..
people closest to our heart are the one who can calm us down whenever we don't feel good, or we are mad over somethings, and I am so grateful for having my dad, and my boyfriend, the two persons who softens me down when I am mad..
how about you?.. who calms/softens you down when you are mad, and how did they do it?..
have fun responding!2 people like this
35 responses
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
16 Jun 08
I can only it's time.. When i'm sad, i dun tend to speak or talk to others, i will just keep it inside me, and just endure.. After which, when i have time, i will go for my runs and vent everyhting out, after which i will feel very good and relaxed.. It's just like a load off my burden.. haha =D In fact, i can say, nobody actually knows exactly how i feel and wat i want ^_^
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
it's true, nobody knows you except yourself, so you can calm down with the help of yourself also.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
18 Jun 08
yeah, like staying away from all of them.. or by listening to music..
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
17 Jun 08
I think, it is my inner self, which calm me down, if I am upset. I believe that getting upset or getting angry is in my hands and if by the way I get angry, on the very next moment I can make myself understand that there is no use of getting upset, it is me, who has to sort out the things. I would say - "Maturity is proportionate to the amoung of embarrassment, one can tolerate". I belive in this saying.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
yeah, I agree with you.. you know yourself better than other do.. so you're the only one who can calm yourself.
@sminut13 (1783)
• Singapore
16 Jun 08
well it is tough to know who can pacify me. initially, before i got married, rather than pacify, you could say i'd be trying to hold on to my temper or to curb it down for my father usually as i'm quite close to him and he dotes on me as well. thus, i would feel that my anger would just hurt him and all and would feel guilty. it doesn't matter who i'm angry at.
now, after marriage, i'm away from my father so it's more my children i would say. my son rather as my daughter's still young. he gives me this sad look or when i'm quarreling with my hubby, he would be frightened usually of my hubby or he'd go to another room by himself. i would feel really guilty thus i usually take on my hubby's anger which of course is because of me. hehe but it's my children now. because of them, i try to control or hold on to my temper.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
LOL. that made me laugh.. yeah, me too. If I saw my boyfriend, feeling sad on what I feel, especially if I shouted at him, I'll feel guilt, and I hate that feeling. and to much frightened that he'll be mad at me in return, I will make a way to ease the sadness that he feels.. and will apologize to him, and tell him what I really feel..
sometimes, we shouldn't let other people get affected by our anger..and we shouldn't also blame them for how we feel..
yeah, me too. If I saw my boyfriend, feeling sad on what I feel, especially if I shouted at him, I'll feel guilt, and I hate that feeling. and to much frightened that he'll be mad at me in return, I will make a way to ease the sadness that he feels.. and will apologize to him, and tell him what I really feel..
sometimes, we shouldn't let other people get affected by our anger..and we shouldn't also blame them for how we feel..2 people like this
@jdoss23430 (379)
• United States
8 Jul 08
Most of the time its my oldest son. He figured out how to take my mind off of whatever was bothering me when he was about 13 and hes 23 now. Usually when Im ticked off or upset I will call him and somehow he always manages to make things seem brighter or gives me insight to help me figure out how to handle whatever it is that is bothering me.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
it's good to know that you have a good relationship with your son. you should be thankful for having a son like him.
@jdoss23430 (379)
• United States
14 Jul 08
Oh believe me, there are times when I dont know what I would have done without him :-)
@bullyvirgil (238)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
i'm a very hard headed individual i always have a hard time to soften up. im always upset when i didn't get what i want. some tried to calm me down but only a few can soften me up and that few is only my very patient girlfriend and my older sister. my girlfriend is a blessing from above, she is so patient with me even though like what i've said im a very hard headed guy. she always understand me in my short comings even if im the one who is wrong. her hug and holding my hand is enough reason for me to be calm and soften up because i know that she will be always be at my side and not leave me in any madness that im experiencing. my older sister is the other person who has a best way of calming down. when i saw her when im really really mad and her eye brows are going up im so scared and eventually my being mad is transformed into fear because she don't like it when im mad.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
bullyvirgil -
that is so sweet. the person closest to our heart really knows how to handle our attitude, good or bad..even the worst one..
I know that your girlfriend accepts you for who you are.. even for being so hard headed. no matter how bad your attitude was, I know that she's willing to handle and accept it.
our partner's presence will make us feel better, what more if they'll hug and kiss us..right?..
I believe that your girlfriend wouldn't let you down. she'll cheer you up no matter what, for you to be happy.(and I know that you're doing the same thing whenever she feels down.) and I know that she'll give all her best just to see you smile..
good luck to the both of and I wish that your relationship will stay as long as forever..(and I believe she's hoping for that too..)
with regards to your sister, you made me laugh. maybe because you two were so close together, and that you respect her, that you don't want to see her get mad also. and that's good. maybe she raises her eyebrows because for you to stop or to control your anger.
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xiaYjun
wow, eating relieves your stress..
me too, I also wanted to talk to the people I really trust.. It really ease the anger I am feeling.
our partner's presence will make us feel better, what more if they'll hug and kiss us..right?..
I believe that your girlfriend wouldn't let you down. she'll cheer you up no matter what, for you to be happy.(and I know that you're doing the same thing whenever she feels down.) and I know that she'll give all her best just to see you smile..
good luck to the both of and I wish that your relationship will stay as long as forever..(and I believe she's hoping for that too..)
with regards to your sister, you made me laugh. maybe because you two were so close together, and that you respect her, that you don't want to see her get mad also. and that's good. maybe she raises her eyebrows because for you to stop or to control your anger.
----------------------------------------
xiaYjun
wow, eating relieves your stress..
me too, I also wanted to talk to the people I really trust.. It really ease the anger I am feeling.1 person likes this
@pearlsychiu (91)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
There are days when you wake up that you really feel grumpy and everything... There are also days when you see somebody in your household that really irritates you and the feeling lasts for more than a moment... I'm lucky I have my kids to cheer me up... My eldest son is very thoughtful and loving and he's the one who usually cheers me up when i'm down or mad or angry... When he knows that i'm not okay he hugs me or kisses me and sings to me... In short he tries to entertain me with his funny antics and it works most of the time....
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
your son is so sweet. maybe he doesn't want to see you so sad. that is why he's trying his very best to make you smile.
@pearlsychiu (91)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
Yeah, i'm lucky to have my babies. And you're one lucky girl to have your dad and your boyfriend who pacifies you when you're not in the mood... Cheers...
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
15 Jul 08
No matter how I am feeling, how down or mad all I have to do is look at my grandkids and Im had! They are the most sweet looking and the way they look at me. I cant even describe it. With Tessa the way that she will look at me and run and throw herself in my arms and say mama, give me a hug while patting my back ... yeah they rule me .. lol
I would say next is my hubby, who is also my life and I cant imagine it without him, unless of course he is the bad one that made me so mad! lol
1 person likes this
@youless (112481)
• Guangzhou, China
30 Jun 08
I am different from you. Sometimes my dad and I will have a serious discussion but fortunately it won't affect our relationship. As to which one can soften my hot temper. Then perhaps it's from my son. Since he's little, so I have to do a good example in front of him. And therefore I won't lose a hot temper to anybody when he's around. I try to make myself calm as my child may be nervous to see his mom has emotional problems.
I love China
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
30 Jun 08
yeah, I agree with you. as much as possible, you should control your anger when your son is around. kids have the possibility to be afraid, whenever they see their parents mad or not in the good mood.
@bhushguha (203)
• India
14 Jul 08
when i was in school my teachers used to calm me down when i got angry...but now m 21 n kno how to calm myself down...N I m the only person who can handle my anger..
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
30 Jun 08
yeah, I am so lucky to have him. as in, so lucky and to thankful for God gave me such kind of person.
@nadams80 (77)
•
12 Jul 08
My 2 year old daughter definitely softens me up even when I'm mad with her. Sometimes I just can't help but smile or even laugh. When she knows I'm mad she'll come and say "sorry mummy, I love you".
Sometimes she makes me laugh with all her antics, she's learning so much, talks so much and is so active that she can't fail to soften me up whatever my mood.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
that is so sweet.. I do have a siblings just like your daughter. they always make me smile whenever I mad over something.
@MaeTsuen (257)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
oh my there's only 1 person in the world who can soften my heart even how angry i am to what happened or even how angry i might e to him.. And that's my husband... only he can do that.. others i can stand tough on them for a day but my hubby it just last a most 5 hours then "POOPOOOF" it's gone. =)
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
good for you.. same here. well, although we aren't married yet, I know now that if already in a marriage relationship, he already know now on how to handle my anger.
@littlepinoy (600)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
When I am mad, I clean the house.... I keep on cleaning until the next thing I know, I had forgotten that I was angry. Funny eh? But true.
When I'm mad, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just go into deep thoughts thinking things over. But if someone wants to talk to me, I could respond, focusing on what he/she really needs with me. But I respond not as a jolly person that I'm mostly known for.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
wow! If the next time you'll get mad, please go to our house, and clean whatever mess you'll see. just kidding.
just kidding. @arielle_love (67)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
My kids calmed me down when I feel like I'm over stress, tired or just mad. When I seemy kids dancing & laughing , it makes me smile.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
yeah, little siblings do that too, and I always laugh and forget my anger.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
I am also an introvert person before, but now, I've learned that I need people who will be there through my down moments.. and little by little, introvert person person became the extrovert one.
@skydancer (2101)
• United States
17 Jun 08
I would say several things are necessary. First is that I need to go into a completely silent place with my own thoughts so that I have total control of what is going on around me... probably because my biggest turn-off is loss of control over something or other. I often turn on music, and when I do this, it is almost always a song that I feel fits the moment well because when I am down, I need to feel like I am not alone and find something I can relate to and associate with - and the music certainly does a lot for that. Exactly what kind of music depends on what sort of down mood I am in, what happened, and what sorts of perspective I can best relate to.
And as for who softens me, nobody does it better than my cat! Our animal friends are always so great for that. They are always there for you, don't trivialize, minimize, or otherwise treat your problems like they're silly and stupid. They seem to almost since what sort of mood you're in and seek to comfort you in any way they can and will accept you just the way you are no matter what you've done or how you feel. She's so soft, she purrs so much and always wants to be as close to me as she can make herself - it's always a great stress reliever. She really knows how to be of support when no one else can!
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
I agree with you. I do that before, I'll just stay in my room. I sometimes listen to music because it soothes my soul. and it takes away all the problems, and the pain I am feeling.
with regards to pet, I prefer dog.. yes you are right, our pets can take away our sad feelings. even if they are doing nothing.. they are so sweet, and it really helps us to feel better.
with regards to pet, I prefer dog.. yes you are right, our pets can take away our sad feelings. even if they are doing nothing.. they are so sweet, and it really helps us to feel better.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
17 Jun 08
Dear friend,
I hope it might be the moms who often pacify, may be not in all cases, may be majority of boys. Still in my case it is my mom, actually she is my mental strength in many ways and in many situations were I used to tremble or scatter she really helps me come out of it. But I rarely get angry at times. But I very soon get depressed on silly matters, may be my mom knows it well. Any how thanks to God who gave such a mother for me and this do not mean that my father is not much good, he is also one of best persons I have seen. For pacifying my mom is better.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
My mom and I is not in good terms right now, and from the moment that my mom and my dad separated, we don't talk too much and we don't have any communications..
yes, I agree with you that most people find their mom their confidant and their strength. no wonder, we came from the womb of our mom and they're the reason on whey we are here.. and like what they've said..mom's knows best.. whatever we feel, mom knows how to comfort us.. too bad, my mom and I don't have that kind of relationship.
yes, I agree with you that most people find their mom their confidant and their strength. no wonder, we came from the womb of our mom and they're the reason on whey we are here.. and like what they've said..mom's knows best.. whatever we feel, mom knows how to comfort us.. too bad, my mom and I don't have that kind of relationship. @Gargoyle0134 (1257)
• United States
29 Jun 08
I have learned to clam my self. I go into a quiet room and eihter take a nap to cool down or read a book.
1 person likes this
@momalisa65 (1971)
• United States
19 Jun 08
No human ever calms me down when I'm upset.
My dog and cat are the only ones who seem to have the ability to do that.
1 person likes this
@eagle_f15 (1827)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 08
Hi - it's my husband who softens me down when I am mad. He will make these silly funny faces and I would just end up laughing....
1 person likes this
