A headstone for Mom, Son and his wife????
By jdeforge
@jdeforge (224)
United States
June 18, 2008 9:46am CST
So I have an interesting topic. My father passed away last September, and my mom and grandmother are still in the process of buying a stone. Here's brief history..
1. My grandmother purchsed the plots for the whole family, my mom didn't get to pick.
2. My grandmother picked my dads burial spot, my mom didn't get to pick.
3. My grandmother wrote the obituary, my mother didn't get a say.
Now...my grandmother is trying to buy a stone for all three of them. And have all three names on it and have it say Mother, Son and Wife.
is this absolutely unheard of and wrong? My parents were married for 31 years!!!! My mother should have all say. I'm simply stunned and wanted to open the discussion to everyones thoughts...
2 responses
@MarcieMouse (86)
• United States
19 Jun 08
I am so sorry for you and your Mom. I think it's wrong your Grandmother has done the things she's done since your Dad passed. Maybe if your Mom doesn't say anything, maybe you will have to stand up to Grandma. You'll be coming here soon, maybe it's time to "talk" w/ Grandma.
@MarcieMouse (86)
• United States
19 Jun 08
Oh, I forgot.....I think it's WRONG for your Grandma to be on the headstone. It really should be just your Mom and Dad.
@jdeforge (224)
• United States
19 Jun 08
Thanks man. I'm more upset it doesn't say husband or father. I mean he was/is so many things...son isn't just it. Plus not to mention it really makes it seem like my dad had only one parent, what about his dad!!
Bleh. I can't wait to see you though!
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
29 Jun 08
What the!? At the VERY least your mother should have gotten a say in each and every step. Its troubling that only your grandmother got a say in the entire deal, while your mother got nothing. I think the last part of this situation is weird. I can understand your grandmother getting her own stone, but getting one for your mom? (Let me guess, mom didn't get a say there either.) The whole thing seems possessive, possibly divisive and adversarial. I'd suggest really talking to your grandmother about it, with your mother included of course.
I've seen enough family manipulation in my time and I might be a cynic, so hopefully you'll get other thoughts on the matter. Overall, I think the situation you've presented is has its problems.
