Being independent, good or bad?
By gwenns
@gwenns (255)
Singapore
June 19, 2008 11:02pm CST
I would say I'm quite independent on my own. I'm proud of my independence because I could work on my own, I would survive even there's no one around me.
However, I find it hard to work with others and intolerant to people who can't work on their own (I had this "If I could, why can't you" mindset). Also, I find it exceptionally tough to open up or depend on others. Sometimes I just felt like I am emotionally detached to people...
So is it just me or am I "too independent"? lol.
3 responses
@mjsintos (17)
• Philippines
20 Jun 08
there is always good and bad in everything. i believe in what they say ""no man is an island"" there will come a time when you will need to cooperate and communicate to others in order to meet something or maybe to survive. your independency is good i too myself need that so share it to others.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
20 Jun 08
I'm not sure that you are too independant as much as set on how you feel about things. Having a strong will and a strong mind is a good thing. However some people are just not there, no matter what you do or say it will not change them or the way they do things. SOme are content being dependant. It's sad, I have never depended on anyone and it's a hard thing to do. I'm a self doing self started and usually ahead of the pack so to speak.
I don't mind others being in front and it's great that they take the inicative. It would be grand if more people were independant. Then there would be less problems in the world, or at least I think so.
I'm proud of being independant and want to be no other way. But then I've taken care of myself and my brothers as well as anyone else that needed it all of my life.
On the other hand I can talk to other and open up in some cases. In others I find it hard like personal things. That's why it's nice to have a friend or someone that you can talk to on this level.
It's a good thign to be able to take care of yourself and your own needs. Likewise there is nothing wrong with saying you need help when you need it. With some it's just hard to do. As we have never had anyone to help us. When this is the case it's ackward to be help and to accept it.
But everyone needs help at some time or another and needs to learn to accept it and be thankful to the person or people that are helping you. There is nothing wrong with this.
It's basically a mind set. Changing how you feel is a hard thing but it can be done.
@gwenns (255)
• Singapore
21 Jun 08
Thanks moondancer. You had somehow enlightened me a little. True that I felt awkward to receive help or look for someone to help me, hence my emotional detachment to people around me. I think I had "blocked" out myself sometimes, hence my emotional detachment lol. Yes, it's hard to change my mindset because it's what helped me live till now haha. I guess I'm also the kind of person that needs to learn the hard way =P
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
21 Jun 08
Oh my learning the hard way is a very difficult path to follow. But as you'll learn this is the way with most of us. There is nothing wrong with being independant and it will help you through life.
You just need to learn a slight balance of being able to accept help when it's needed and being strong enough to ask for it.
I know I'm this way. I have always done for myself and hardly ever had help. It was few and far between. Thus making it very hard for me to ask for help. I'm not that kind of person. If I can't do it or get it I do without. Thus I have had ebarassment when being given something or any help and it's hard for me to say thank you because I'm not use to getting help. It throws me off to get it since I'm not use to it. I do manage to say thank you but it is awkward for me. This is something I have had to work on. Especially since I'm disabled now.
You are young and you will get where you need to be as far as being independant and otherwise mainly because you recognize the difference.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
21 Jun 08
Glad to know I'm not the only one. =) I've been living away from my family for 5 years now. I do tend to have this self-sufficient air with me and I get annoyed with someone who's not checking everything on his own before asking me questions.
It does give me that feeling that I might be too emotionally detached to people. I tend to think, "why do I need to bother with you, I can do it on my own." etc. But well no one can really do it on their own. Even if I'm living on my own, I feel there still really is a need to get to mingle with others and be understanding of others.
