My friend is starving her baby!
By neelygal
@neelygal (1022)
Bahamas
June 23, 2008 1:56pm CST
I have a friend that is literally starving her 6 month old because he is a fat baby.I am getting so mad with her.I have never seen a baby this fat before but all of the pediatricians say hes healthy and nothing is wrong with him.I thought that he must have a thyroid problem but they say no hes normal.My friend has him on a schedule and will only feed him every 4 hours.Thiis baby will scream and scream from hunger and she will not give him anything except water.I dont think this is right.All of my kids when they were hungry I fed them.I agree none of my kids were ever this big but still its wrong to starve the poor baby just cause hes fat.She has not given him any baby food yet and hes six months.I began when my kids were 4 months starting them out eating foods.She has not given him any cereal because of his weight.Its like she has him on a diet and its really begin to make me angry.I agree that hes her child but starving an infant is wrong.Whats your opion on this matter?
13 people like this
60 responses
@mclendon (308)
• United States
23 Jun 08
He will probably not starve, but there are other consequences. She needs to make sure he is getting enough iron. Cereal usually provides the extra iron and nutrients older babies need.
Also a baby that doesn't have his needs met and that must scream and scream will likely develop some form of attachment disorder. He may have a fundamental lack of trust in her as a parent and come to view the world as a negative, unpleasant place. She may end up with a VERY defiant toddler on her hands.
3 people like this
@mclendon (308)
• United States
26 Jun 08
Yep, it's more WHAT we eat and not how much; especially for babies and children. I watch out for that HFCS, but it IS in just about everything!
So many obese adults blame their overeating on trying to fill an emotional void. So depriving a baby of nourishment could very well lead to an obese child or adult who overeats to fill the void they have from that early deprivation.
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I am in shock to and this is not right . A baby needs nutrition and the baby will get very sick . The baby could even die because of major organs shutting down. The baby needs other food too and just not milk and water . You need to talk to your friend ,because this baby is suffering . It is a baby who cres about its weight anyway.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I remember when I was in junior high one of my friends was telling me that her sister in law would water down her daughters formula because she was over weight her whole life and she did not want her kid to be fat. I think that as long as the baby is not eating a bunch of junk then she should not worry about his weight at this age.
3 people like this
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I started feeding my sons very thin baby cereal when they were only a few weeks old. I don't agree with what the doctors say about waiting until a child is months and months old, that's ridiculous. My mother started all of us within weeks, and all my brothers/sisters did the same with their children and we never had any stomach problems, allergies, etc.
It doesn't have to be much, but there needs to be a bit more substance than just the milk/formula. I put just a spoonful or two of the baby cereal in their bottle with a nipple that was wider than normal. I didn't jump right into regular baby food.
They say rice cereal is best to start an infant on because there is less irritation to the stomach and less chance of allergies.
My sons are now 24 and 27 and both 6'3" with no allergies or other ailments. Worked for me ...
3 people like this
@jashley1 (746)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Yes that is definately not right - babies will tell you when they are hungry because their bodies really need all that nutrition. I am a very petite woman - 5' 3" and 110 before my 3rd child, now I weigh 115. All three of my children were small coming out - around 6 lbs, and grew very quickly into chubby chunky little cute babies! My son is 7 months old and almost 20 lbs and in size 12 months clothing. They all have fat faces and big jaws! This is healthy! Babies will slim out when they start walking and doing all of that. Her baby needs the food that he is crying for. That is wrong of your friend and very vain of her. She does not need to do that. She needs to feed him when he's hungry and give him the proper dietary foods. According to my doctor babies don't need solids until 9 months of age, although most start introducing them around 6 months of age.. my son was on cereal from 2 months in small servings, and now he's on solids. She needs to speak to a doctor.
3 people like this
@sturner03 (326)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I've had 2 children and I would never dream of putting them on a diet. Expecially at 6 months old. That is a crucial developmental time in there life. A baby knows when there hungry and they let you know. And if the doctors are sayng that he's healthy then whats the problem?? How big is the kid? My sisters baby at 6 mohs weighed abut 25-30 pounds and the doctors said he was as healthy as can be but my sister still feeds him whenever he's hungry without question.
3 people like this
@carrotcake14 (361)
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
I think your friend should go and see a doctor not her baby.If the pediatrician told her that her baby is completely normal then that's enough and she should be grateful about the news. If she keeps on doing that then her baby might get sick.
2 people like this
@ayumitakashi (4462)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Wow that is awful. I mean if that was my friend I would tell her something because she's not doing a good thing. All babies are different and it's not like the baby food is going to make him fat or something. You need to sit her down and talk to her. Tell her that what she is doing is wrong. I do hope that she stops doing this because this could de detrimental for that baby.
2 people like this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
25 Jun 08
This is true, today the doctor has to tell her how to prevent obesity! But it is not a good thing to try and put a baby on a diet! Many people do not even talk to or sing to their babies, and that is something they need! Maybe if she takes the baby for a walk in a baby carrier or stroller, the baby will calm down! getting upset only makes people less in touch with their hunger signals.
@graceandowen (1637)
•
23 Jun 08
oh my god i am totally shocked about this, reading your post made me just as angry as you.
firstly babies are not greedy and dont eat for eating sake, they cry for food when they are genuinly hungry. Babies are all different weights and if the paeds have said the baby is healthy then she should not starve the poor little mite! its just totally wrong im disgusted that she could do this to her own child!
my daughter was a big baby she was never huge but was chubby and lovely, she soon los the weight when she became active and started walking running etc.
Have you tried talking some sense to you friend???
if that fails then i would certainly have a chat with her health visitor or your gp and tell them your concerns as if she takes this too far she could seriously harm the poor child.
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I started feeding my kids cereal at about 4mo. because formula did not fill them up for more than 2 or 3 hrs. The poor baby is probably plain hungry. If she refuses to feed the kid then maybe you should have someone else speak to her (pediatrician, maybe). Starving a child at this age can result in long term learning and health problems!
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
23 Jun 08
it's not right to deprive the baby for eating.. He doesn't understand why he has to control his eating. He is not a n adult who is concern of being fat? I don't think the doctor advice the mother to starve he child to reduce his size? I don;t think it is right to do that to an infant. I don;t like the idea.
2 people like this
@Jessie1987 (1)
•
24 Jun 08
Oh,my god!I can't believe it!He is just a baby.He must grow as he was. Thus, he can stay a happy and healthy life.Anyway, doctors say the baby is heathy. That's OK. Heath is the best happiness. If his mother thinks the baby is too fat, she can control his weight when he's grown. As a fact, baby has no fault. He should enjoy everything he can! The mother must take good care of him. I definitly object the mother's action!
@persontypething (2)
•
25 Jun 08
Personally I don't know how a mother could bear hearing her little one crying with hunger for an ongoing period, thinking she is "helping him" by allowing him to suffer now in order that he won't supposedly be "fat". At 6 months old the child should be starting on solids and as long as he gets lots of pureed vegtables and fruit and cereals, his ned for milk will lessen gradually, he will start to become mobile and everythign will settle down. My little boy, now 14 months became pretty chubby and it was as a previous poster said probably due to formula milk and that he still wanted night feeds etc. But by 6 months , night feeds are not necessary and this poor little mite screaming round the clock will send his parents demented I am sure, ruin any kind of "routine" and be terribly miserable. I had the opposite problem- I and the people around me knew Freddie was fine, but it was the Health Visitor at the Clinic who kept "raising concerns". I was told to take him to my doctor, who just took a look at him, his chart and the fast that both parents were 6' tall and said- he will be a big lad, but he is absolutely fine- don't worry.
I really think this mum should talk things over with health professionals and maybe some internet parenting forums if she wd prefer some anonymity as her approach will not only be harming her child but also her own mental state and perceptions of the situation. Is she a particularly "weight obsessed" or "body beautiful" type of person....her poor child will grow up with a terrible complex and will probably become naturally "greedier" as his subconscious reminds him of his infant hunger as he grows up. She REALLY needs to talk to someone on this...
@baileycows (3665)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I don't think is right either. My little girl was a fat baby at 4 months she weight 20 lbs. The doctors assured me that I was doing find. She is now tall and slender at 8 years old. She just needed alot of food when she was a baby, but I would have never with held food from her. You should ask your friend how it would feel if she didnt get to eat when she was hungry.
2 people like this
@Enimsaj88 (9)
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
My God, i think its not normal for a mother not to feed her child. i mean, its just a baby so normally the immune system of the baby are weak,so they need nutritious food to help them develop their body parts and also their mental status. if your friend will continue feeding her child with water, there's a possibility that her child will become malnourished.
i know that his fat but inadequate diet can lead to malnourished.
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
25 Jun 08
Babies are sometimes huge. They lose the weight as they get bigger and more active. Also this baby may have a medical issue that needs to be dealt with, even though he is "healthy". If the baby is screaming wanting food then this needs to be addressed, obviously something is wrong. SHe needs to see another doctor with him. Sometimes one doctor gets lost in one certain sight of things and she may need another opinion.
I truly believe she does.
1 person likes this
@aninspiration (346)
• United States
24 Jun 08
i think alot of times its the formula that adds the weight on the baby Alot of babys seem to slender down after they start eating foods cause they feel fuller and not drinking down one bottle after another My grandaughter whos 4 months now was taking 6 oz every 2 hours we started her on ceaeal and she is not as demanding
1 person likes this
@tinkerick (1257)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Every 4 hours, and leaving him screaming sounds a bit harsh. However, there is some merit to what she is trying to do.
My children were very fat babies. My oldest couldn't sit up on her own she was so roly-poly you had to prop her up with pillows or she'd roll over! 
They too, were healthy, however the doctors did tell me to try skipping feedings by replacing a bottle with water (with a spoonful of sugar for taste) to prevent them from becoming unhealthily fat.
This does work for many people, but for the most part I think babies don't like water. Mine didn't, so I started putting baby cereal in their bottles. This helps immensely! It fills them up longer so that they dont' get hungry as often. **I would definitely tell her to start putting baby cereal in the bottles.** I'm surprised her doctors haven't told her to do that.
Incidentally, all my kids are very thin now. They lost all the baby fat very quickly as active toddlers. 
They too, were healthy, however the doctors did tell me to try skipping feedings by replacing a bottle with water (with a spoonful of sugar for taste) to prevent them from becoming unhealthily fat.
This does work for many people, but for the most part I think babies don't like water. Mine didn't, so I started putting baby cereal in their bottles. This helps immensely! It fills them up longer so that they dont' get hungry as often. **I would definitely tell her to start putting baby cereal in the bottles.** I'm surprised her doctors haven't told her to do that.
Incidentally, all my kids are very thin now. They lost all the baby fat very quickly as active toddlers.
1 person likes this
@violetdreams (658)
•
24 Jun 08
Hi Tink
I agree with you that perhaps it is time to start him on solids so he won't be as hungry and may well start to 'even out'.
However, I was quite surprised when you said the doc's said to add sugar to the water, although I do agree that most babies don't like water - none of mine did either :¬)
Also, I was advised against putting cereal in the bottles (can't remember why now), although it is not the done thing where I am.
Saying all this, I did also start my kids on solids at about 4 months - they all needed it, the milk just wasn't doing it anymore!
I don't mean to critisise your advice, I guess it is just that things are done differently in different parts of the world - which I find quite interesting.
Violetdreams
2 people like this
@tinkerick (1257)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I know they say that. But you don't put that much in the bottle. Only a small spoonful of the really fine and flaky baby cereal. Amazingly it's enough to satisfy their bellies for a while longer. All 3 of my kids started cereal that way. But progressed to eating spoon-fed cereal pretty much within a week or two of that.
Also note - it's best to use the cross-cut nipples if you're going to do it.
Of course, always discuss things with your physician first if you have any concerns with the safety of your child.
@Annmac (949)
•
26 Jun 08
No your friend is NOT!
Starved babies are not fat!
It may be seen as old fashioned to feed on a schedule but it is still Nature's way. Even fed on demand babies usually settle into a routine and it's normally four hourly, which is how long it takes to fully digest a bottle of milk.
Babies never used to be weaned as early as they are now unless they had a problem with milk.
I doubt he's crying due to hunger, at 6 months he's probably teething so if offered something it would be natural for him to put it in his mouth.
She's actually doing the right thing when she gives him water. They also cry because they are thirsty, and giving water is far better than giving them sweet liquids.
I think both of you show a misunderstanding of nutrition. You seem to forget milk is the natural diet of young mammals.
She is mistaken in believing that solid food and cereal is more fattening than a liquid food, it could even help her child lose weight, and satisfy his hunger for a longer time. It takes more energy to digest solid food so uses more calories than it provides and if cereal releases a steadier supply of energy than the higher fat and sugar content of the milk does.
You seem to think of Milk as a drink and that only solid food can provide calories.
As long as the pediatrition says he's healthy I wouldn't worry about him. He'll soon become more active and will lose the weight naturally.
Suggest the baby food as an alternative rather than as an addition and tell her that it's better for him to become more used to different textures and flavours. If she gives him a good variety it could stop him becoming a fussy eater when he's older.
1 person likes this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
24 Jun 08
That is horrible. At 6 months old, this baby is too young to be on a diet. She should consult her doctor if she is concerned about his weight, and follow the doctor's advice. I am guessing she has not done this, as doctors do NOT usually say, "don't feed the baby". He should be able to eat baby cereal at least by now, maybe if she gave him that, he wouldn't be so hungry?
He is only 6 months old. I would think he will outgrow some of the chubbiness as he grows and starts to move more over the next few months. Once babies start crawling and walking they usually aren't as chubby, unless the parents are feeding them junk. I feel so bad for this poor baby.
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
25 Jun 08
Some government agencies are telling parents that their babies are at risk for obesity! I cannot remember what they tell you to do about it, as I countered with the fact that the baby was still too short and would grow into the weight! What comes first, inches in height, or pounds of weight?
@sashashimp (115)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Most baby's get fat beause they are not active yet. Once that baby starts moving around he will slim down. I also agree that it is wrong to starve or deny a baby to eat. I had a baby in March and he weighed 8lb 10oz and now at three months he is 15lbs he is chubby but once he gets active he will lose it.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
25 Jun 08
You know it! Babies are supposed to double their weight by three months or so! Some say double by six months, but mine doubled by three to four months! There is so much energy in toddlers, if we do not teach them to sit all day and watch television, they will be fine!
