Would you choose the one you love or the one who loves you?
By selece
@selece (2357)
Philippines
June 28, 2008 12:06am CST
Most of us have been in this situation, when we love someone else while we are loved by a person that we don't actually love but care about. If you happen to be in this situation who would you choose? The one who loves you or the one you love?
In my case, I think I'll pursue the one I love. I'd take my chances because I love the person. That would make me happier, even if I fail to get her or so, I'd be happy to do my best than not try at all .I can't go for someone who loves me if I don't feel the same way. I am very considerate when it comes to the other person's sake. I don't want to hurt people, and if I do go for that person and fail to give back that love, I'll only be hurting her more in the process. And yes, either way that person is going to get hurt, but it would be better to have ended it early. Time is essential. So how about you? What would you do?
9 people like this
47 responses
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
i have chosen the person who loves me before.. but i was really wrong and i could not stand a day being with the person i dont love anymore. its like i dont have patience for him and everything he does does not mean anything to me...
i would say i'd rather choose the one i love and be hurt than to stay with one person i cannot love. it feels worse than being alone.
2 people like this
@Gateway78 (96)
• United States
28 Jun 08
the one you love always ends up breaking your heart so you probably better sticking with the one that loves you because in the long run all that sadness from losing your loved one to somone eles can cause other emotinal problems in your life as well as with freinds and relatives and eventually cause you to become in bittered with everyone around you at least i know when i,m upset with my boyfreind i just as soon to shut everybody out and you should,t do that cause all that fades after awhile ..PS you,re making the right decision but my point of view if somone has broke your heart it all to easy that will happen again... Gateway78
1 person likes this
@Gateway78 (96)
• United States
29 Jun 08
you,re welcome... Remember what you,re mother told you,, the snake that bit ya is the snake that will cure ya haha Happy posting Gateway78
1 person likes this
@rainwater (352)
• China
28 Jun 08
Choose the one who you consider the right one.Best wishes.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
28 Jun 08
The one who loves me, and I did. The one who loves you has obviously been watching you from afar, and is already devoted to you and who you are. A lot of people will pursue a crush, and I can't say that I haven't wanted to, but something has always stopped. My fiance charmed me, and always treats me like his queen, and he is my king. Have a Great day.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
28 Jun 08
No problem. I am not saying that you can not choose the other but in my opinion those may resolve in more heartache then heartwarmth. Have a Great day.
@jag003 (127)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
It's nice to have someone who loves you they say you could actually grow to love them in time, but with me I'd rather be with someone who I love, because I won't be faking anything, I might end up getting hurt and all that but as they say "All is fair in love and war"...
@msedge (4011)
• United States
28 Jun 08
Like you, i would also choose the one that i love because it would make me happy.If the relationship will not work because its one sided i could accept that at least i follow what my heart dictates.No regrets whatsoever because i know i was happy.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
29 Jun 08
It would have to be one that I love. If I went for someone who I knew loved me but I didn't love in return. I just could not lead someone on in that way and I couldn't fake it. I'd end up hurting them more in the long run. If I'm dating someone and it turns out that it isn't working for me but i know they have strong feelings for me, I'll just end it.
1 person likes this
@sirfsuraz (468)
• Nepal
29 Jun 08
few years ago i loved a girl but she accepted me only as a friend. And also one girl use to love me but i didn't. Later i found it was just an attraction towards eachother.But now i have my own beloved wife. We both love each other. so your question can be answered in my case by the both side of coins hehe. we both love each other.. But one sided love is better.. love the one whom you love and let them love who loves you.. its your and as well as their right to love and to be loved.
@gtdonna (1738)
•
29 Jun 08
There's a saying "It is not who you love, but who loves you; not who you wants, but who wants you" and I wholeheartedly believe in it for the simple reason that, those who love you will tend to treat you much better than those who you love and who are not returning the love.
I have seen cases where individuals have gone all ga ga behind someone they love and got nothing but emotional abuse and cruelty because the other person could care less about them. They hoped the individual would change but that wasn't to be. Then again, trying your chances with someone who loves you and who you don't love...may also see you resenting them because of not being on the same feelings level.
It's a paradox...but I will take my chances with someone who loves me
1 person likes this
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
26 Jul 08
That is a tough one. The person I loved might not like me, and I would feel as though the person who loved me would not be truly happy if I wasn't genuinely feeling the same way about them.
I think I would rather be alone than end up hurt and alone in the end anyway. Sometimes, things do change, but why put yourself through the pain of rejection or put someone else through a false love?
Like I said, a tough one, but certainly thought provoking.
1 person likes this
@tandyth2008 (52)
• China
1 Jul 08
you are totally the same as me!
Choose the one i love, that will inspire me to do my best, then i'll be the best guy for her, haha!
actually, my girlfriend and i, we deeply love each other.
that's an amazing feeling, sometimes when we are ok, we feel happy, and sometimes when she has words with me, i almost get crazy.haha
1 person likes this
@jessieBee (1046)
• Trinidad And Tobago
2 Jul 08
I would choose the person that i love, because i wouldn't like to hurt the one's feeling who loves me, knowing full well that i don't love the person. I'd rather take my chances with the person i love, trying to get that person to love me back is worth it. Love is a funny thing, it's peoples feelings and emotions.
There was once this guy that claimed to be in love with me. He constantly bothered me and bought a number of stuff for me. no matter how many times i told him i only liked him as a friend, he wouldn't give up. He kept saying he loved me,he'll do anything for me, he even started to stork me!
One day i just stopped taking his calls and when he turned up at my work place, I'd always have a male friend to walk me to my car, to avoid him talking to me.
So i won't recommend being with or having someone around you that your not in love with.
One day i just stopped taking his calls and when he turned up at my work place, I'd always have a male friend to walk me to my car, to avoid him talking to me.
So i won't recommend being with or having someone around you that your not in love with.@selece (2357)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
Wah? He's pretty persistent huh? You've tried to protect his feelings but he insists, maybe he just loves you so much that he's willing to endure all the pain. But in this case, it's too much. Oh well.. We have the same perspective. I'd choose the one I love,too. Thanks for sharing!
@clei914 (28)
• United States
29 Jun 08
That's a difficult question to answer. I guess, first, I would have to figure out why the one person is in love with me and why, potentially, the one I love may not love me. There really isn't an easy answer to it. The romantic answer would be for the person to go ahead and pursue the one that they love. However, if that person doesn't love me, that would be wasting time and emotional energy. So, going against the romantics, I would see where the other man/woman takes me. If he/she loves me, maybe there is a chance that I could love him/her back. If there's no chance that I could love him/her, then at least I would feel that my time was used in a productive way.....somewhat.
1 person likes this
@1richgirl (126)
• United States
28 Jun 08
Totally agree! A friend taught me once that she is happiest when she is being loving to a person- more than when someone is catering to her!!
@onlinemoneymatters (117)
•
28 Jun 08
A situation really difficult to tackle. I think you should leave it on fate. Pray to God to guide you in this matter and help you make the right decision. God definitely guides us towards the best, if we seek his guidance. Try it out and you will feel happy having God's guidance. I really mean it. In many matters where I am confused, I just seek God's guidance, and I realise, I made the right choice. So shall you. Go ahead.
