Wedding Speech : Write your bestman's speech for him

First off let me start by saying I am going to make mine funny,and I would write Rickey's speech so it would say,hello to all you Hicks,we are here because my brother(for everyone else who might read this and think badly he is not my real brother) who took the time away from his video games to be here,and my cousin who is one of the few women I will actually tolerate,are here to get hitched,and I hope they have lots and lots of rugrats,for me to teach all my hillbilly ways too,and I am only hear because the guy riding the horse forced me to show up.

That is an interesting idea... I am currently worried about my finace's choice for bestman, but I am not sure he will go for it. He says that he wants to make the audience cry. I'm thinking this is not a good thing. But thanks for the tip!