wondering

That is all I know about the agency.

Is that the name of the agency? "Agency on aging" can you please let me know. thank you so much

thank you so much for your help

My sister takes care of all her finanacial and medical. She already knows that I'll be looking for a job. I don't know how she is going to do it with a stranger. But I really need to go back to work. thanks for you comments

I would also like to be able to leave during the week on vacation. I have a brother and sister and neither one of them help out. My sister will only come on weekends, she works, my brother lives around 1 hour away, he wont' bother. I'll see what happens. thanks

This just shows the differenct things we should address with family members before they're ever necessary. It's a good idea to go over all the "what ifs" and put paper work into place before they are needed.

she not the type of person that works with you. She doesn't like anyone here at her place. when she did get therapy she make her faces and get attidute. She get worst as the days go by. I don't mind staying home and taking care of her, but when she makes me feel like I'm her servant,than that not going to cut it. If I don't help take a shower she won't take one. I alerady know she wont' allow anyone to come in and take care of her. If she was willing to cooperate, things would be different. My sister will only come by on weekends, but only if we are not going to be home. and that's only a day and 1/2. she can't take her moody ways. thank you grandpa bob

I also had the same issues with dad at first. But if you're serious about taking care of her till the end then a foot needs to be planted firmly with her one way or another. There has to be something done soon as neither of you appear to be happy with this whole situation. Sorry for your troubles in this matter. Good luck. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~

Hi coolblu, thank you for your response. I've heard that, you figure what does he money have to do with it. It's just like a job. Who better can take care of their own parent then their own kids. So why not pay them to stay home and take care of them. Don't you figure that it better to leave them with family than to put themin a nursing home. After hearing how the elderly are abuse. There are trying to figure out a problem with it. So hire their own family to do all this. This only my opinion.

Hi Jordan (like your name) If they would take it out of her checking she would have a fit. It would be much easier if she put everything under my sister name, this way she would qualified. I've also mean told that once she does that, and she gets to a point where I'm going to be able to be here for her, she can go into a nursing home, which they charge $4,000 a month. I know between the 3 of us, we are not going to have that type of month to pay for nursing. She doesn't seem to understand that. She thinks I'm actually after her money. And as for me being here, I'm here because neither does my brother nor my sister want to be here. I not a mean person, it I was I wouldn't be here. Also if I go back to work, and she doesn't get anyone and if something happen to her, I'm responsible. So at this moment I can't do very much. Thanks Jordan for your advice

hi lingli, I don't mine taking care of her and I also believe that our parents should not be put in a nursing home because they have reach a certain age. But, she would not be paying me, the agency would pay me, it's like a job. I pay rent, help her with some of her bills, buy extra food and I don't ask her for money. I do it because I want to. When ever we go eat, I always think of her and bring her something back. I'm not asking for any rewards, if this is going to be my job, because that is what it is. I would like some agency to pay me, instead of me going out to work. Thing are getting to expensive and with one income it's not cutting it. Lingli, I'm not asking my mother to pay me, all I'm asking is for her to help me qaulify to that someone else can pay me. I know it would be wrong to take her money. I not the type to do that. It's not coming out of her pocket. thank you lingli for comments

Hi J.W. Believe it not, I'm not that close to my mother. When we were younger, I was closer to my father. Every since I could remember my father was always there for me. I knew deep down inside that my mother held this against me. She used to and still does every once in while that I had to be just like my father. I notice the differences between how she treated my sister and me. And yet her favorite daugther who can not doing nothing wrong has refused to take care of her mom. I said I would do, why not, I'll take care of her. Now what I want is for some agency to pay me for staying home with her. When ever she needs something from the market she give her money, if she goes over, I don't tell her. I don't feel right. I don't mind doing anything for her. But it gets to a point, where I would like to leave not come back. Yes your post help me, and thank you for your reply.

Hello,Every one This is what I;m trying to say.... I'm on Disability myself and I don't draw what it takes these days to really live....after I pay my own bills I have less than $21.00 left to do me till next ed Pay day.... My mother,Father are on SSI...And it is hard for me to do what I do for just my mom....I'm my Mothers care taker ,Before my Mother got her disability and Before I stopped working and got on disability my self (I took care of my mother I payed her way in life for 13years...). Even now I still take care of her If she needs close ect...If she needs to go any where me and my husband take her...(she pays the gas bill)If she needs High gen I pay of it she pays me back....You can do for her but make sure that she pays for what she wonts you to do ....Tell her that you need money to do that for her.... Now my Father my sister is his garden as I and she don't do for him like I do my mother ... I mean she takes him to the doctor and things but she takes the narcotics that the doctor gives him and he has to go in pain a lot ... It is one big mess with him but he is jealous that I do so much for my mother...That my sister don't do for him ... It is so hard to handle but I do the best that I can do and if I do any thing for my mother she pays for it then and there... She may even pay me out of her check every month .... I had to let my mother no that I don't have a job like I use to to take care of her like that any more....Now she knows that she has to he;p me to help her .... I may not have to pay a lot for every thing I get her but she has nice this because I try to take care of her..... We are very close now day because I let her know that I love her and I wont the best for her...... I hope this helps ... J.M

My husband works, but still does not give us much. We're helping her with the cable, when we go to market she buy her own food, which is not much, but whatever we buy and she want we give to her. I buy things that she may want to eat. I just wish she was willing to help me out.

Hi Sid, Thank you, I'll start looking into this on Monday. I have to talk to my sister and tell her to talk to my mother. I know that my sister doesn't want me to go back to work and to stay home with her. But both them have to work with me. I'll look into hospice and see what they tell me.

That will be the day when she hires someone else. since it has to come out of her pocket. she would rather be by herself. I've told her and the only thing she will do is make her faces. thank you for your response.

Here in California we can take care of our relatives and get paid. That not right what New York is doing. Who else could be right for the job than one daughter. My daughter's god mother, took care of her mother and they were paying her. They also hire a couple of ladies but didn't last long because her mother was very mean. Before I stop working, my daughter god mother, asked if I wanted someone to come by and watch while I'm at work, I told sure, let me ask my mother if it's okay. The lady was very reliable, always there when she was need, cooked, cleaned. Anyway, I mentioned it to my mother and straight out she said no. thank you Rzelikman

ive never heard in all my life of anyone being DENIED the right to tend to an aging relative regardless of their name. unless the person is totally neglegent in their care of the person. thats just preposterous, and im pretty sure you have yer facts wrong.

There is, and the only reason I didn't qaulify was, because she had money in her saving. The person from the agency told her that she had enough to pay. And she told him that she wasn't go to pay me. She had/has that money for when she goes to the other world. She already paid for all her services, the coffin, the plot etc. I can't ask her if she still has all that money in there because she'll get mad. I do need to look into other agencys and see if I qualify now. thank you tamarafireheart

Apparently you have read the right. I'm not asking her to pay me, What I want to know if some agency can pay. So don't go off, and start telling me I need to give in return, I haven't taken anything from her. She has done what I have done for my kids. I don't expect for my kids to take care of me. If they do, I expect for someone to pay them, for leaving their job and putting everything aside to care of me. Another thing, you know nothing about what I go through. so please don't judge me.