A good deed followed by a lie. Am I evil or what?
By spalladino
@spalladino (17891)
United States
July 3, 2008 5:01pm CST
I normally stop by the Post Office every day on my way home from work to check the P.O. box. Since I've been training all week to cover for someone in the office who's going on vacation I've been working from 6:00AM until 3:00, which has been killing me, and I'm more tired than usual by the time I get off.
This afternoon a very sweet older lady wearing a bright yellow rain poncho walked up to my window as I sat in my truck after picking up the mail and asked me if I could give her a ride to Town Hall to pay her light bill. She said that they were going to close soon and it was "fixin" to rain. I didn't mind helping her out. It was a little bit out of my way but not much and she acted like she knew me, which was entirely possible since it's a very small town.
After she got in I soon discovered that she was a little *odd*. First we had to stop (on the side of the road at her direction) so she could call them from my cell phone to find out how much the bill was because, if she didn't have enough cash on her, we were going to have to stop by the bank. Luck was on my side...she had enough cash so we were on our way. We talked a bit but, when we passed the High School and I mentioned that my daughter had just graduated, she told me that she just graduated, too, so I was pretty positive by this time that this lady was definitely *odd*.
As we pulled up in front of the Town Hall she told me that she would only be a minute and then she needed to go to the bank and then home. That's when my good deed took a downward turn. I was tired, I wanted to go home and I did not want to drive this lady all over town. I pictured myself walking through the grocery store with her while she picked up a few (hundred) things.
That's when the lie just came sliding out of my mouth like I'd been telling lies all of my life. I told her that I really couldn't wait, that I had to pick up my daughter and get her to work by 4:00 or she'd be in trouble with her boss. The nice lady looked a little disappointed but she was very sweet about it. "Okay then, you have a nice weekend honey." Honey my butt...I felt like a heel...almost turned around twice on my way home, but I'm pretty positive that she was able to catch a ride from some unsuspecting person at Town Hall. They're probably at the Dollar Store by now.
So, tell me mylotters, am I completely evil? If she had originally asked me to take her to run multiple errands I would have made an excuse at the Post Office and I did get her to Town Hall in time to pay her light bill. When someone asks you for a favor are you at their mercy until they're done with you?
4 people like this
18 responses
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
3 Jul 08
So basically you left an old lady, obviously suffering from dementia, at the Town Hall with no way to get back home, possibly just ahead of a rainstorm? Sorry, but I don't care how busy or tired you were or weren't, you've put her in a dangerous position and I can only hope someone kind finds her.
I know I'm feeling emotional and moody here at home so please don't take my comments too personally but yes that was an evil thing to do. Hopefully she's at the grocery store with someone else but she could be wandering aimlessly down the highway or through the woods now too. We hear too many stories of elderly wandering off and dying or never being found for me to say I understand your actions today.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Barbietre-My grandmother also had enough sense to carry on conversations and get through a grocery store...but then 10 minutes later she'd want to go grocery shopping again because she was sure she was out of everything and if we didn't stay right with her she'd go through the check out by herself and we'd find her in the parking lot in someone else's vehicle. Moments of clarity come and go quite quickly in elderly like that. I know I was harsh and I admitted it in my first post but I stand by what I said. She migght as well have been left in a desert if she forgets where she is, phone numbers of friends, or what her name is.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Hang on a second guys, this lady was not elderly, she was maybe 60 and saying that she was odd was a nice way of saying that she seemed to be a little bit mentally challanged. I know dementia very well, we took care of my ex's grandmother for four years while she regressed from the mental capacity of about five years of age down to the level of a two year old when swallowing problems forced us to put her in a nursing home.
I realize that you don't know me, and I'm not taking your comments personally, but I'm not so callous as to leave an obviously handicapped old lady to fend for herself in a potentially dangerous situation. You also don't realize where I live. Our town is a one red light, one grocery store tiny town where most everyone knows everyone else which is why I'm not sure if I ever met her before. I've only been here for five years and I'm sure she's lived here all of her life. You can easily walk anywhere around our town. When she called the Town Hall about her light bill (notice we don't even have a real electric company) she knew the phone number by heart, she knew name of the person who answered the phone and she only gave that person her first name and got the amount of her bill. There's no highway, no woods to get lost in and, yes, I'm sure there was someone kind in Town Hall to either give her a ride or call one of the many relatives I'm sure she has in this town.
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
4 Jul 08
That is a bit harsh, how did she know she was not in danger herself? The only thing she could possibly done better maybe was call the police and alert them to the lady. But since she went into town hall and paid her bill and had enough sense to hold a rational converstion with the clerk on the phone to determine if hse had enough money, it sounds as if she really knew what she was doing. And it was not as if she left her out in the desert, it was town hall and people there have phones.
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
3 Jul 08
Tough call, I would have taken her to town hall but that's all she asked you to do, so technically you didn't lie. She didn't ask you if you had anywhere else to be so bascially you helped someone out, are you evil? No, but you've been in this situation before and you had no obligation to take her anyplace else. I do favors for people and I try to do everything they need.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I often do favors for people, yes, and I've often been sucked dry by people...give and inch, take a mile. On another day, under different circumstances, I might have waited around but I can only do what I can do, too, and I still had dinner to cook and a two year old grandson waiting to play with Nan. Fortunately, this was a very rare situation.
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Well, let me pat you on the back, you did a nice thing, feel good about what you did, not guilty about what you didn't.
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
4 Jul 08
No, I think the lady was taking advantage of your kindness, and thinking it her prerogative as she was old. You are not evil and she is not evil too. She may genuinly feel that she is not inconvincing you or she may be taking advantage. All said and done, you are not to be blamed. You did your act of kindness for the day and are not duty bound to be at her beck and call, much as you may want to. Your own life too has priority and i think you should chill out. You are a good soul to feel bad about it. relax.
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Ah but OLD is the key word here. 60 ish is not old by any stretch of the imagination. I will be 60 in a few months and never consider myself old. Others have alluded to helping an old person. Yes a someone infirm or elderly perhaps, but as the OP said she was 60ish.
@smallT (376)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Well you were nice enough to take her to pay her bill. She probably found someone else to take her on her other errands. You did help her and that was very kind of you. You can't fix everything. You may still be driving her around town if you hadn't excused yourself.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I think I'm lucky she didn't ask me for my phone number since she knew I had a phone.
@T3hG33k (215)
• United States
3 Jul 08
No you are absolutely not evil, she asked you for one favor which you were nice enough to do for her. You are not at her mercy after this. You said this lady was a bit odd too which she must have been to ask you for rides around town or very desperate I suppose but still you are not obliged to do all this driving. If a person seemed like they were really down on their luck I suppose I would give them a ride to a few different places to help them out for a day but it appears this lady is just a mooch. It is hard for people to turn someone down for a favor after they are already helping them out as in this situation as a person usually feels guilty. But, the mooch also realizes that and will generally such it for what they can get. She probably would have asked to make a few other stops to as you suggested with the grocery store you did the right thing by driving her there the rest of it is up to her.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Thanks T. The Post Office is only a couple of blocks from Town Hall and a lot of people walk around town. I think she saw the opportunity to catch a ride and wanted to take it for all that she could. Like I said in another response, I'm 100% certain that she has family living in town so if she were really stuck for a ride, someone would give her one.
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Well first of all it was wonderful that you did what you did for her. That was way beyond what most people would have done to begin with.
Then when you said she was odd, how do you really know what was going on? For all you know she could have been trying to scam you. And if not, being a little odd, what would have happened if she really syarted to act worse, you might have gotten yourself into a situation that you could not handle.
No you did enough and it as best thst you ended it the way you did. These days it is better to be careful.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Speaking of scams I was concerned for a few minutes that she was going to try to scam me out of money when she insisted that I pull over while she called to find out how much her bill was. I had this vision of her being $20 or $30 short and was actually surprised when she ended the call, counted her money and said she had more than enough. In fact, now I'm wondering why she would need to go to the bank afterwards. The whole situation was strange.
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I like to help other people. Its easy to have others take advantage of your generous nature, but its important to not let others walk all over you now. She asked you to take her to Town Hall and that is where you took her, so I think you did exactly what she requested. I'm sure she found somebody else to give her a ride. I would have felt like a heel also, but my husband would have told me you have to take care of yourself first.
I have more than once been at their mercy, but am working harder at saying no. This can be easier said than done. Good luck with this problem. Some people are givers and others are takers.
@therd27 (31)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
i don't think that what you did is wrong. because as you said you were already tired. and if i were in your place i will do the same thing. i think you feel evil because of the fact that you lied. but i think it's too much if the old lady asks you to wait for her to come back and then go for her errands.. that's too much...
@oliverdt (1958)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
I always experienced those kinds of events but not too much like you. Its like you are her driver or maybe she just want to take advantage with you without any intention to hurt you. Anyway White lies always happen everyday. Its like helping yourself survive, anyway she can do it on her own, its her life.
@toosh21 (800)
• Australia
3 Jul 08
Honestly, I think I would have done the same thing you did. It was ok to give her a lift to the Town Hall, but then for her to expect you to run her around everywhere was just a bit too much! I guess I would have felt a little guilty too, but after a long tiring day at work & with the price of petrol these days I can totally understand why you did it so don't beat yourself up about it!
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Thanks Toosh. I try to be nice, especially since I live in such a nice area with such nice people, but I couldn't face going here and there after dragging myself out of bed at 4:45 in the morning and working all day.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Personally, I would not have picked her up to begin with unless I knew for certain that we had met before. If not, then sweet old lady or not, I would not have picked her up. I've heard too many stories about supposed sweet old ladies being criminals in disguise.
@SwtJenlove (1090)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I think you did all you could do. I would have done the same thing because you just had a long day yourself and i know after a long day the last thing you wanna do is to have to ride a complete stranger around. Yes i know this town and i know its small. You blink you miss it.. No lie! I dont think you were in the wrong at all.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
4 Jul 08
Hello Spalladino,
Well if you are really that tired, a little white lie doesen't make you evil, but next time you see that sweet old lady do something nice for her to redeem yourself. Good luck to you.
Tamarafireheart.
@sugerbaby80808 (61)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I dont think what you did was bad at all, i mean she only asked for one favor a ride to town hall, so after that your not obligated to do anymore, But if she would have told you all the stuff from the beginning would you have helped her out. Most likly not. So dont feel bad, you help a little and to me thats enough. you dont need to be her personal taxi cab, and if she was really as odd as you say your probably better off only doing that one favor,.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
4 Jul 08
You're right. If she had asked me in the beginning if I could run her to three or four places I would have made up an excuse right then and there.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
4 Jul 08
sounds to me that the lady is making use of you... i will do the same thing like you as well if i were in your position... i don't want to drive people all over the town when i am tired myself... she should have told you from the first time she asked for your favour if she wants you to drive her to so many places... good on you for standing on your ground... take care and have a nice day...
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
Shucks! That's really tough. I think I will do as you did too. I know it will feel bad as you already felt right now but I just can't do everything for a stranger. I can do a thing or two, I'm sure of that. But I was never the "push-over" type and I am always practical in everything I do. It isn't just practical to spend my time doing things for someone I hardly know. Though I would feel guilty at the end because she's not just a stranger but a "strange" old lady as you say... Uh uh. I will be closing my eyes for a few minutes and fake a few humms then I'll forget the whole incident. I just cannot take responsibility for other people's actions or other's people's lives. Sorry. I think that means I'm a little evil too. :((
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
4 Jul 08
To be honest with you I would probably have done the same thing. I dont mind helping anyone out but when they want more than the help that they originally asked for it gets a bit much. So I am sure that you will be forgiven a little lie and I am sure that the lady will have been perfectly OK!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Jul 08
No you are not evil but as long as you had gone this far
out of your way would it not have been pretty easy to just do
as she wanted. you willnot likely see her again but helping an old lady is really kind and you will one day be old yourself, I am sure and maybe you will need a helping hand so I would have gone all the way myself. but again I am an elderly lady myself and know a bit about old age.
