What if your boyfriend doesn't want to marry with you but still date you?
By yenwie84
@yenwie84 (1344)
Malaysia
July 5, 2008 12:54am CST
I have a friend,dating with a guy for almost 7years and now both of them are at the age of suitable to get marry,everything is stable now. However, the guy still did not propose to my friend.Do you think my friend should wait for the guy or just end the relationship?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@ayessa (1583)
• Philippines
5 Jul 08
Not prosposing means no plans of getting married. Maybe the guy does not think of marriage on the time of thier relationship now. The length of 7 years will not be a good basis of marrying. There are some couples who just dated for a couple of months but ended to a marriage. Besides marriage is not the same as a boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Better enjoy the moment of being single cause there's a lot of things you can no longer do when you marry. Now if your friend is in a hurry of getting married why did not ask the other party if he has plans? But the answer will not all good so better for her to prepare herself if she receive a bad answer from the guy.
1 person likes this
@embattledsparkle (1072)
• United States
5 Jul 08
Does the boyfriend know that she'd like to get married? Maybe he has reasons for not asking her, like saving up enough money for a ring or home? If she really wants to get married to him, she should talk to him about it. If he doesn't want to and she wants to get married and have a family then she should break up with him and find someone new. Or decide if she'd like to be with him and just never get married.
1 person likes this
@MsCYPRAH (394)
•
6 Jul 08
If someone has been dating for seven years and still doesn't want to get married then the other person should cut their losses and find someone who will. Whenever there are differing expectations between a couple, it never gets any better. One partner sounds as though he is afraid to commit. Marriage is simply a public declaration of the private love that is shared between the couple and it allows friends and family to share in that joyous moment by celebrating it with them. If someone is afraid of that public declaration, which changes nothing privately except in legal terms, and especially after so many years, the other party shouldn't hang around, because it is not going to get any better. One person is simply pleasing himself at the other person's expense without caring for their feelings. Let's face it, if he can get everything he wants without having to get married for it, why should he bother? Up to your friend now for this one.
@yenwie84 (1344)
• Malaysia
6 Jul 08
I agree with you. I feel that the guy seems does not have the heart to make any commitment with my friend.Maybe he just fool around or he just enjoy the sweet time dating with friend without any responsibility. I ever asked my friend" why you still want to stay with him".The answer sounded simple"I love him so much". Maybe we should see this thing from another angle,as long as she is happy with that,maybe that's enough for her. I just wish her luck then.
1 person likes this
@MsCYPRAH (394)
•
6 Jul 08
I agree with your comment that as long as she is happy with that, then it's fine. But is she really happy? If it is bugging her regularly, she is not happy and it will only get worse as she gets more resentful of him. A few more years and then she will really hate him, especially if she wanted kids and time has passed without any. Not a good situation to continue in without a thorough discussion between them.
@spring2008 (47)
• China
7 Jul 08
I think your friend can wait for the guy another time,maybe he needs time,but if he still can not promise to your friend,you can advise your friend end the relationship,for i think the guy is an adult,he should know what he should do.
@dreamhealer (812)
•
6 Jul 08
It's a pity that your friend let February the 29th go by. She could have proposed to her boyfriend and gotten an answer! It seems that your friend will have to take the initiative here and ask. It seems that your friend would not be happy without more commitment from her boyfriend. It's a risk, the boyfriend might take fright and say no. If so, your friend can then make her final decision: Put up or break up.
@hiteshrup (270)
• India
6 Jul 08
I think your friend should propose the guy. otherwise how the guy aware about her feelings.
@keep_onwatch (2680)
• India
5 Jul 08
May be he isnt ready for marraige. May be they r settled, and stable na dof goo0d maturity, but may be the guy isnt ready for marriage. Well he might be having his own views about marriage. Does he know, she wants to get married? Just let him know through some other means or a dirct talk would be better. If he loves her and is waiting for the right moment, then thats enough, beter marray with consent than rush into it, and later find it hard to cope with. But as long as love is there, everything would come around. Just ask her to talk.
@gloreymay (882)
• Philippines
5 Jul 08
Maybe He is just waiting for the right timing. Maybe they can talk about that matter. It is not necessary mean to broke with that guy and that would be unfair on his part.
@chandan3371 (35)
•
5 Jul 08
suppose if i am girl then slept on his boyfriend face.
than affter will get marry another place whare my parents wanna.