Is this rude?

I find it slightly rude. I think it's understandable they want to talk in their first language which is much easier for them to speak and understand, but if they are in the company of someone who does not speak their language... not to mention in a country that does not speak their language, they should either speak english or go off away from the group to speak.

I had a friend who's mom worked in a place where there were 6 workers, 4 hispanic and her and another lady. All though she had spoken with the supervisor about the other ladies speaking Spanish around the other 2, they continued. Well, she and the other lady were Jewish and they started speaking Hebrew to each other. Needless to say, the other ladies got all upset that they were talking in some language they didn't understand and complained to the supervisor. She said that if they felt that they could talk Spanish when she and the other lady didn't understand it, then they could talk any language they wanted to. The supervisor agreed and told the other ladies that if they insisted in speaking Spanish, then they could speak Hebrew. After that, the ladies spoke only English around them and they returned the favor. It is rude to speak another language continually around other's that don't speak it. To say a little bit, or to translate to someone who might need it.

Of course it would be nicer if everyone carried the conversation on a common language but that is sometimes easier said than done. I know because it has happened to me. Just looking for a word that best describes what we want to say, and then the other person comes up with that word in our own language and almost even without noticing we shift gears and respond in the same language and only realize it when we notice the other people looking at us. THe course of action is apologize and try to stay in the common language of course :) SOmetimes, and as you point out the two people will fall into their own language because it's quicker and easier for them. If the whole group is carrying a conversation care should be taken to stay in the common language, it the group is divided in smaller groups carrying different conversations then if the two people feel more confident in their first language shouldn't be a problem. One of the main problems coming form this is something I have noticed more ever since I came to Canada, than when I was back in Europe. Some people seem to think that just because the others are speaking in a different language they're talking about them or in some way saying something derogative of them. Back home we were so used to have people talking different languages all around us that it doesn't seem to bother us to the same extent.But in here many people do feel like that. I remember a good friend of mine that doesn't speak Portuguese having that problem. I tried to stay in English but sometimes someone would say something in my language and I would respond automatically. MY friend would always ask "what are you guys saying? Is it something about me?" and I would joke with her " It's ok, don't worry, you're not that special " :) In any case, although technically it is rude to do so, sometimes it's done with no special purpose of being rude and often without even noticing the change.

Hi GreenMoo, I think this group should speak in English. At least everybody understands it. You remind me of a typical Indian state. (I won't name it for fear of being thrashed) They won't speak any other language even to save their lives. Now, if a couple of people from this unnamed state get together with a few English speakers, they would ignore the group and speak their own language, which, according to me, is the height of rudeness. Cheers and happy mylotting

happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I went on my lunchbreak with 2 other people and they held a conversation between them which I couldn't understand. The guy did turn to me and say 'dont mind us please' at one point. After a bit, I left saying 'see you in a bit' because I felt like I was intruding by being there. It was an isolated incident and there's no ill feeling.

well it's rude on their part to speak in a language unknown to you only if you were a part of the conversation. However, if they know that you are listening to it, though it doesn't concern you then I think you should let them complete the discussion and then they can brief you easily over it.

It is rude for them to talk, without excusing themselves, or politely taking the permission of the others in the group.

I guess it al depends on where you are. For example, if I'm in the train and I don't know these people who am I to say they should talk English? If I was in the cafeteria at school or work I would feel slightly upset because you are at work together and I would feel uncomfortable if they shut people out of the conversation speaking another language with other english speaking people around. Worst thing is when people start talking another language when you know they are gossiping about you or saying something really nasty about you. You can see it by looks and pointing, those are universal.

I find it very rude AND annoying when people do that in front of me!!! Seriously just speak out if you want some privacy for some time ... Its understandable when you are not that comfortable with English.. OR the common language of that country... I am from India and there are more than thousands of language spoken here. I had this neighbor of mine who belonged to southern India and as a matter of fact I belong to the north east area.. So language clashes..!!(no doubt we are best friends now) but "Hindi" is a common language here, ok if not Hindi then "English" is there!! But when ever they (her family) wanted to talk about something secret they start chatting in their own language ..leaving me all blank in front of them. I found that very rude of them. They knew both Hindi AND English VERY well.. (it wasn't the fact that they where immigrants or something!! They are clear Indians) NOW THAT IS RUDE!! :)

I have been in similar situations and it does feel as if they are excluding me. Once I saw a funny comedy show where two women were speaking in their own language at the hair salon. And turns out the customer knew their language too so she pointed out that they shouldn't be so rude to speak about her behind her back! Too funny. I guess that if I had something private to say to my friend and we shared another language, then I wouldn't hesitate using my native language. So I wouldn't begrudge another person the right to do the same.

In a group, it might look rude, no doubt. Here where i live, each different region has a unique language of our our own but when we sit in a group, either we speak english or hindi. But, i find it more acceptable, that when 2 people want to talk in their own language for a bit, they excuse themselves from the group for a bit. I think itst he better way.

I used to get offended when that happened around me when I was younger and did think it was rude.The reason for this was because I speak in more than one language.My parents used to talk in our mother language when I had company who only spoke in english.They spoke together about them in the mother language.Most of the time it wasn't anything bad but I still felt they were talking behind their back while they were near the person speaking in english.When I got married to my husband who only spoke in english.So I never spoke to them in my mother language only in english when he was around.Sometimes they would tell jokes to each other and tried to translate it in english to him but it didn't always come out funny.Translating a joke from one to another never comes out the same.I asked him once if he felt they were talking about him and he said yes so I just told him when they were just joking.He finally got less offended,But I still only speak in english in front of people who don't understand their language.I do come near people a lot today that don't know I speak the language they are talking in and I smile when they are talking about me.If they are saying something rude about me I comment to them in the same language.It can be fun sometimes.hehe

I don't know, I personally think it's rude for people who speak my language, as well as their own language or just another language in general, to speak it in front of me when they know I don't understand it. That's openly excluded me from their conversation and it's uncalled for. It makes me assume that they must be saying something that they don't want me to hear, possibly about me. It's definitely very rude in my opinion.

I would find it rude. It happens to me all the time here. All of a sudden they shift to speaking Bahasa or Chinese even when I'm sitting there with them and even when they know English (although it's not that good but still pretty understandable). Then they tell me I don't mingle very much. :-s Whatever.

i think it is a bit rude... i think if they want to speak a foreign language in a company of people who don't understand their language, they have to excuse themselves and talk in private... i don't like it when i am being put in that kind of situations as well... that's why i always make sure that i don't do that to other people as well... take care and have a nice day...

For me it will be rude. i have faced the similar situation when i was staying at an accommodation with girls from different language. they used to speak the things which were relevant to us in their language. me and other one could not understand. we felt bad.

in my current school, i have several classmates who came from different countries. we speak english most of the time. but sometimes, we really can't avoid to speak on our own language when i'm with other Filipinos, we just translate or say "excuse me" to our foreign classmates. most of the time, we really try to speak in english for the benefit of all and we remind each other if we forgot that we have foreign company and we should speak in english. it's not rude if you say excuse or inform the others of what you are talking about so that they won't feel uncomfortable, thinking that you might be discussing something against him.

Personally, I would find it rude. If you are with these people, they would make you feel excluded and uncomfortable - and even that they might be talking about you, or telling secrets! I think they should make an effort to use a language common to all in the group - they can always chat in their own language when they are by themselves later!

language chages every 100 kms and with the convergence of the globe it is very difficult to know everyone's language. so i beleive we can only try to speak in their language and can never be perfect in that. i think wherever we are we should try to speak in their language as people like it if you talk like them rather talking in our tounge.

personally, i think that is rude. my first language is serbian, and whenever i am with people that do not speak my language i would never make them feel uncomfortable or left out by speaking a different language to another friend of mine. although there are times when it is appropriate. like for example if my parents were to call me on my phone, i would speak my language to them, just because of the language barrier factor. but otherwise, it is completly rude.