Differentiating between things responsible for and things i can only influence

yes we certainly should learn to differentiate. it's really saddening to feel responsible for things you have no control over. some people actually fall into depression by thinking that they've caused some unhappy things to happen. this is so unhealthy and to a certain extent egoistical. how can a person be directly responsible for another person's happiness? unless the person is the almighty right? we can try to make others happy, but the decision to be happy is not made by us. we can only do so much. ;p

I have also heard that but it was put differently......go forth in your quest and don't worry about what others are doing because you cannot control their behavior.....but you can set your course for your life and when you just keep going forth things will fall into place...so we are directly responsible for your selves.....and others only influence.

Life would indeed be more pleasant and easy going if we could distinguish between taking responsibility and understanding the ability to influence. Personally, I am only responsible to myself and no one else. I take it as part of my responsibility to be able to influence the outcome if it is within my means. The difficult part is shirking my sense of responsibility to influence the outcome. How?

The statement "a child is directly responsible for being a good son or daughter. but a child cannot be directly responsible for his or her parents' happiness." got me really interested in this discussion. That just merely states a one direction from the children to the parents. What about the other way? Am I to assume that "the parents are directly responsible for being good mother or father. But the parents cannot be directly responsible for his or her child's happiness" is a valid statement? I may go off topic here, so bear with me a little. Recently there have been quite a few threads in the parenting forum with regards to children mis-behaving and defiant. If in those events where the kids goes wayward, no matter how good the parents try to bring him/her back on the right track, whose fault is it? The parents who brought the kid into this world? Or the kid itself? Who is responsible then? Who is the influence then? Did Roy King mention anything like that? Cos right now, in Britain, I dunno if they implemented it yet, if the children were to break the law, the parents are to bear part of the blame as the parents are suppose to be teaching and managing their children. I may not have lived that long, but I have seen my fair share of kids who would blantly defy the parent, just because they could. In such situations, who is the responsible party should the children fall into the wrong path in life? Who is the influencer?

Between the 2, is only a thin line.. It's easy to influence and one that happens, it becomes one's responsibility as one causes it to happen.. But it depends on many other factors too and also on the age group and thinking of each individual too ^_^

This is practical information.Its funny how i've always known this deep down inside but it kind of sinks in when you read it specifically like this.I think its a common fallacy each one of us commits uncosciously.When things are going well and suddenly something goes wrong,we tend to panic and are quick to assume and think we did something wrong and are not giving our best or even that we're not good enough.It happens all the time.I guess this will open some of our eyes and make daily issues better to handle now.

Its true that we should learn to differentiate. in life everyone has some purpose. also the people surrounding us have limits the way they can influence us. if we depend beyond that berrier, then there can be a problem.