Failed relationships!

Life is like a game of chess, you make good moves, you make bad moves, sometimes you are taken when you are not expecting it, sometimes you have to just move forward and don't look back, sometimes you make decisions which are bad but you remember them for the next time, next time you are more prepared. You have to trust again, and trust is a very difficult thing, it has to be earnt. I am a great believer that time is a great healer. Unfortunately experience does come at the wrong end of life and I often wonder if we had the experience at birth whether we would fair better or make the same mistakes. Sometimes we have to fall down big holes to experience hurt, betrayal and anger. Every negative does have a positive, it's equally balanced. Sometimes when you are going through hell it's very difficult to find a positive, but once life moves on, you find that that particular door has slammed shut but there's another one soon to open. Some things are painful ma, really painful but we survive, we get through, we have to, we need faith that in moving on and learning and accepting what has happened. Being told NOT to cry is I personally believe a wrong thing to say, because I find it very difficult to cry and if I had been able to cry I think I would have got rid of a lot of anguish and pain years ago! Crying is very freeing and helps you to move on in life. Tears are an ending, and a new beginning. You have become I am sure much stronger xxx

Well, first of that stinks if it happens to you. Sorry to hear that. I have to say though that the person that does that to another is not actually helping themselves. Those things always come back to them eventually. I would look at it as that person has things to learn about life and love. I think life is great. I've learned that you have to be in charge of your life. I know cruise control is easy; but it isn't getting anybody anywhere. Life has it's challenges. The only question is: are we up to the challenge?

Trying to keep a positive focus does free you up. When you are busy regretting, and crying, and being sad, he is still ruling your life, and controlling what goes on in it. There were good things, look at your beautiful children, think of the things you have learned. You gave it your best, and you were honest. Pat yourself on the back and fill your head with lovely thoughts. Tell us some more of your animal stories, etc. I remember them from when I first met you. You will continue to have good and lovely things in your life, I assure you of that.

No one said it would be easy, but it's worth it. I'm sure many of us have been down this same road as you Raydene. Keep your head up. The human body, mind, soul, spirit has a wonderful way of healing itself. I remember being crushed after a failed relationship. It was so difficult to get past each day. But magically one day, I had no feeling. I'm not saying it was good. I was actually numb. The guy who broke my heart came to see me and I was numb. I felt nothing. I realized at that point my body, mind or whatever was doing something to protect itself. For a while I was afraid that I wouldn't feel again. I never wanted to be bitter or cold. But eventually I did begin to feel again. Eventually I did fall in love again. Just remember, "this too shall pass". Good Luck

Yeah life can roll over on you and suffocate you sometimes, this sort of reminds me of my only real serious relationship, I'd been with this guy for a year and three months and he was drunk one night and we were in bed and he was telling me all of the things that made up his life "1. was his family" Which of course I understood. 2. was school, which I understood because I was in college too, 3. was work, 4. was the band he was in... and he stopped there. And my throat kind of clenched up, I didn't want to ask but I had to, I was like "What about me? Aren't I a part of your life too?" And he actually laughed at me, and said "Not really, I mean I hardly ever get to see you." Which hurt me bad, because I'd been making every effort I could to spend time with him and be around him as much as I could, I knew on that day on that he didn't love me anymore, no matter what, if he didn't consider me in his life, how could he really love me afterall?

Life is hard. That is for sure. Remember when we were kids and we couldn't wait to grow up and get married? WOW. It certainly isn't what we thought it would be. It's not all happy times and kisses, in fact it's NEVER happy times and kisses. And yet when it's over, that's the stuff you try to remember. ;-) Were you happy in your marriage before this? If not, maybe it would help to remember that things weren't always great, and tell yourself that this is the time when you could make yourself happy.

First of all sorry to hear it.its really hard when you can know that your partner was cheting on you. hope you can get over it. it has given you a lesson which will be helpful in tomorrow..

Life can be so hard sometimes Mom I agree but you know what - you are an inspiration to me - the way that you don't hold on to bitterness and hate! I do hope that you succeed in remembering the good times and let the bad go! If only we all could be so strong! xxx

try to be happy.i used to be in the situation like this. maybe life is really hard, but you can hold it. you can choose the way of life. to forget all that make you sad, as they cannot hurt you anymore in the future if you like. everything is to be good. my best wishes.

I think people deal with things in different ways and crying is a release for many people. I do believe that you shouldn't have regrets, as you always learn from what life throws at you. I hope you see more happiness and do your best to continue with your positive attitude. Good luck!

Yes, life can be hard at time but none of us knows what lies ahead. If my ex and I had not broken up I wouldn't have met my current husband, who is the light of my life. I am much happier and more in love now than I have ever been in my life so don't dwell on the past because your future is in front of you and you have no idea where it's going to take you. Another love, greater and more powerful that the last, may be out there just waiting for fate to bring you together. Look towards the future, not back at the past.

you should realised when you started the discussion there were million of people living in the hunger, in the cold, in the war... its not a question .

yes, life is tough, we may face lots of troubles and problems, but we can't be scared, we must be brave ,because god is seeing us!

Oh my goodness....relationships are the worst. Usually when you are in one you debate if you should leave it but when you are out of it, you debate should you have left it. It seems impossible to be happy and to find that "perfect match" now a days. The problem is that people dont value relationships like they used to. People use people whom are trying to be sincere. People destroy people who are trying to love them. People hurt people who just want to be loved. It is a bad game to play and the problem is that some people dont respect the game. Some people dont care who they are hurting when they do certain things. Not everyone knows how to love because that isnt something that they were taught. People are just into themselves now adays and it stinks for those of us who genuinely want to be loved and to give love in return. There are slim pickings out there now but dont worry, in time you will be with the one who you deserve. I always say that we have to walk through hell before we can walk through heaven. Dating is hell where marriage is heaven (sometimes!) It will be ok. Dont look for him, he will come when you are ready to handle another relationship!

I know what you mean. I have been in your shoes a bunch of times. I was not married to those people though but it still hurt just the same. I gave my ex's my all and they shortchanged me and used me, actually. Life is very hard and I was resentful of them, but I am so glad that it happened like that because it made me wiser and sent me to the right man who does love me the same.

Hi raydene! Life is hard, I do agree! But we do have a choice to make life easier for us as we journey on all our tomorrows. Leave the pain behind and just bring the lessons learned so as to guide us in our travels towards a better new day. Keep up the faith my friend and Celebrate the Strong and Wiser You! Take care and God Bless!

raydene you made me remember what my mom used to say, nobody promised you life would be easy, but sometimes it seems wonderfully well and again its hard nookie for sure but still life is better than you know what. accentuate the positive and you will smile more often, eliminate the negative and dont mess with Mr.Inbetween, courtesy of Bing Crosby. lol.

This is one of the most painfull things in life, a failed relationship. I do empathise. Nowe its time to pick up and try again. It takes guts and a lot of self-reasoning but its worth it. We all need somebody and cannot allow a failure to hamper this.

Life is not hard actually,it's all depend on you on how to live it. You don't think in the negative way and you will feel better. I am sure in future you can find a better man.

life is hard but that doesnt mean we should forget our present & jus keep on crying thinking of past. Just try to smile & find ways to look how beautiful life is. Regards