Why is it that I am only always wrong ?

You are in a real tough situation. Your husband isn't show that he loves his son. If he really loved ether of you he would back you up with your son. If he really loves his son then he would reinforce The idea that the son needs to do his homework and chores. i think that I would let the father know that since he won't back you up with your son that you are turning the complete responsibility over to him. I would also explain to you son why You want him to do his home work and then let him know that ou love him but he will have to be responsible for his life and what happens with it. Sometimes kids have to learn by their mistakes and there is nothing you can do about it.

There's nothing wrong with you it's just that your husband i think is still gaining the affection of your.I think you should sit back and relax for awhile let the father to the rest.If he realize that he is wrong that's the time to talk and do some action.As what my father always do when we are still young he listen and always silent that's how he gain our respect.If your child comes to you for help that's the time to talk let them have their bonding time.

You need to have a good talk with your husband in private about this. Let him know that him taking the son's side is showing that he has no respect for you as a person and as a wife. Also tell him, by him not showing you no respect, your son is learning that he doesn't respect you, nor will he have to respect his future girlfriend or wife. A child needs to study, as a father, he should know that this is very important. All kids know that they have to study, but if it's not for the parent to push them, they will slack up.

Hi ket, I guess you need to talk to your husband and express to him how you feel when he will do it in front of your son..And you have to decide with him what are the rules that you are going to implement in the house for you son.. In that way, when it is time to talk to the son, you're both in one side...I know when parents agreed what to do, kids will respect you both, they might try to express their thought about it, but at least, the couple has a uniform stand! If your husband will continue doing that, your son will never respect you since he will always think that his dad will oppose it and he can always oppose you either!

This is common and its hard to be in this situation. Maybe you could talk to his father and say that this is causing your son not to listen or think of you as an authority figure for him. If his father wants to disagree with you to do it in private. Doesn't his father think studying is important?

It happens pretty much everywhere. I think that the best thing that you can do is talk to the father so that you can act as one entity. When I was a child I know that I always took advantage of any disunity in my parents. Perhaps you should talk to his father and see if first of all you are being too pushy because it is easy to over-mother children and they need to make some of their own mistakes, and second, try to at least find a few issues that you can be unified on so that the parents will be in charge not the son.

I think you should have this conversation with your husband. But I'll tell you one thing, you are not alone. My husband would do it all the time...and I would tell him when my son was younger not to do it in front of him because he wouldn't have any respect for me. And I don't see why my husband had to butt in when I wasn't saying anything wrong. I didn't have to scold my son or spank him till he was 5 and he was a very well behaved boy. But why stop me when I was being firm? Anyways, I know my son loves me....but he just doesn't listen to things anymore and I know why! I can't give another solution because I've just let things go now...because I don't want to be arguing with my husband in front of my kids either.

ketybhagat you have got to talk to your husband and make him understand that you two have to be in agreement over how your kid studies, and what he should and should not do as its unfair of him to make you the bad guy and gang up on you like that. You deserve the respect of both your husband and your son and you are not getting it. if that doesnt work get the two of you to marriage counseling as your husband should bebacking you up not putting you down.

Well, I know that scenario. I'm not a counseller and I don't know the causes of it and I do know its very hard not to relate to those you love by telling them what you think. The best way is to try to be positive and not let their bad moods reflect on you. Give good advice and try to help your son. Your hubbie is wrong in what he is doing and you should tell him so. The one who is going to pay for all this is your son. Stand up for your rights and eventually you will win in some way.

I think that you should talk to the father. I think he is trying to be the "favourite" parent and as a result of this, he is making you out to be the bad person. I think it happens in many households not just yours. Personally, talk to him and try and organise a way that you's can agree on things and allow him to be close to his son (boys days out).

one thing i have learned is that parents are supposed to stand together because when they dont then kids tend to notice that and they take advantage of knowing who will be on their side. as parents you have to know how to come together so the child will know that you both feel the same way about things. if not then it will soon cause tension between you and the father. and as long as your son lives under your roof then he should abide by your rules no matter how old he is.

that is so wrong. your husband should support you. if there is a difference of opinion you and your husband need to talk it over away from your son. you need to uphold each other. and you do need to remind your son of what is important. it is your job to train him. otherwise you're not raising a son. he's just growing up on his own without guidance from those who are over him to direct him in life. trying to give him a good start in life. your husband should not undermind you. that does cause your son to disrespect you.

don't give up on doing what is right, you may think he is loosing respect for you right now, but when he gets older and he realizes he should have been listening to you because you were trying to do what is best for him he will have more respect for you for continuing to try and not give up, and when he realizes that his father should have been doing the same and not allowing him to slack off he will have less respect for his father

It is definitely a problem when parents are divided when dealing with the kids. I don't know how old your son is, but I do know that with kids it's best to pick your battles. In your case, even more so in dealing with Dad too. Have a frank, private talk with Dad about how disrespected you feel and maybe the two of you can come to compromise. That's what parenting is about, two working together to raise this kid as best we can. Acknowledge Dad's feelings, too, don't make the conversation a complete "I" discussion--rather an "US" discussion as parents. Good luck!! ~~

Its the scenario in most of the families. many time sthe dada always goes right with children and the mother is left at wrong position. it also make sme angry. In our family also dad most of the times used to say mom is not right. actual case is not so.

It's not that they don't respect you, it's that you can't earn it. Instead of saying he should do his homework and getting all pissy about, agree with him. Tell him though, that if he gets low grades, you'll take stuff away. Take action, and let him make his own mistakes. You can't dictate his whole life, he's gotta learn his own mistakes by himself, and then have you help him through them :P That's what happened to my brother, and he get's good grades now. That's just one example of one of, I can assume, many problems at your house. Let him live his life, just be his safety net. Of course, later on when he starts getting older, he can't depend on you too much, otherwise you might end up with a fourty year old in your basement :P -Chris

you really need to talk to his father about it. Tell him your still the sons parent and you can give advice no matter what he thinks about it. The worse thing about it is your husband is teaching your son how he should treat his future wife and men need to know that its not ok to talk down to their wives like that. You need to fix it before it rubs off on him. Your future daughter in law will thank you.

Hello ketybhagat, I also don't know the reason why, but I also do that sometime with my wife when she is telling things to my son that my son don't agree and I agree with my son reasoning. I sometimes embarrassed her and hurt my her and as you say maybe lost my son respect to her mother. I think my wife and I have different approach on disciplining the child and I tend to correct her by my own method in this situation which is wrong for me to do. My method is not always right and I should let my wife do what she thing is right and I should back her up for our children to respect us even though I think the method is wrong. When these thing happened, my wife talk to me later about it that I should be backing her and not doing that thing. I think I got the message right and try to back her up all the time. My eldest son and her mother still argue everytime but I think my son still listen to her mother. As they say mother know best. Everytime they argue I have to take side and it's usually my wife sides. You should talk to you husband about this, that what he is doing is not good and should be backing you up. Children need to be discipline or they may take the wrong path. When children see some problem with their parents strategy they tend to exploit that and use their will to get what they want. Take care and keep it doing what you think is right for your son.

your husband is not doing u right. y'all should come on to your son as a team. sounds like to me hubby & son need an attituse adjustment.quit letting them run over you. that's up to u to put a stop th them treating u like that.

I really do hope that I dont upset you when I say this but your husband is bogus. There is no way that he should be undermining your authority expecially not in front of your child. If he has a problem he should pull you to the side and talk to you about it and if you change what you said initially, you should convey that to your son. I mean really!!!! What is this? I have never heard of a child who knows it all. You need to give your husband a tounge lashing out of this world because he is out of control. When he does that what do you do? I hope you dont just take it because you dont deserve that. People will treat you how ever you let them treat you so dont just stand there and take it. You need to put your foot down kind of like Edith did with Archie Bunker. For the most part Edith went along with Archie but if she felt strongly about something she would let him know and he was shocked but he respected what she said. Dont ever let yourself feel like you arent deserving of respect because that is what you are doing if you allow this to continue. I am sorry that you are going through this. This issued needs to be addressed immediately because the older your son gets, the more respect he isnt going to have for you so take care of it sooner than later. The ball is in your hands and dont pass it because you will loose the game if you do!