Your decision or hers?
By relundad
@relundad (2310)
United States
July 11, 2008 12:12pm CST
If you had a teenaged daughter that was totally dependent on you for all forms of support and she ends up pregnant. Which is indicative of the fact that you have new responsibility on the way. Would you demand that she get an abortion or is it up to her? If you allow her to make the choice do you cut off support?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@soooobored (1184)
• United States
18 Jul 08
If you were to force her to have an abortion that she didn't want, your relationship would probably never repair. Where is the guy who got her pregnant in this? He should be contributing financially at least!
@relundad (2310)
• United States
18 Jul 08
That is definitely a possiblity. As I said in my post they are kids and how much support could he actually lend? I understand the moral aspects of it, but thats not the only part that has to be dealt with. As a result it will be far more than the relationship that needs to be repaired. Did you know that as a minor in GA she would not be eligible for any type welfare. So all of the financial burden becomes mine as the parent. So not as a choice of mine I end up taking care of her child or children too. At least until she is a legal adult. And that could end up being longer since because SHE wanted a baby, she may end up with a minimum wage job and minimal education. Whether I could afford it or not isn't the question. The question becomes how long or why do I suffer for the sake of her having the right to choose?
I personally feel like she definitely has the right to choose, just not at my expense!
@soooobored (1184)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I can't even imagine being in your shoes!
I would definitely stay away from a forced abortion, no matter what. And although the boy involved is just a boy, his family might be in a better position to help out? Either way, his feelings should be considered...
Good luck with everything, keep us posted on how it works out!
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
11 Jul 08
Hi relundad!
I was faced with this three years ago.
My daughter who was 16 at the time got pregnant, and i had to do some deep soul searching as to what we were going to do as a family.
As far as i was concerned abortion was not an option, but i still had to consider her views, after all it was her child regardless of how i felt.
I continued to support her, i would never not support her.
And although it's been hard, i've been blessed with a wonderful grandson who just happens to be the apple of my eyes.
My and my family's decision while right for us may not be right for someone else.
But everytime i look at my grandson, i could not imagine him not being here.
{{{ HUGS}}}
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
18 Jul 08
Thank you so much for br!
kEEP UP THE GOOD POSTS.
{{{hugs}}}
@MrNiceGuy (4141)
• United States
14 Jul 08
Thats a pretty tough question. It would definitely be a case by case decision for each person that this came up. Financial, emotional, logistical, etc, cases are important factors. Different people and situations would have different answers.
@CraftyCorner (5600)
• United States
11 Jul 08
As she is a minor and living under your roof, plus she's in your care, the choice and responsibility to the unborn is yours. As I have no children, much less daughters, I can't speak for you and your choices.
*
However, my personal belief is that the infant should be adopted to a good loving family who is in a position to give it the best life possible. As an adoptee myself, I can attest to loving families who can't have but desperately want children. Abortion should only be done if the girl is exceedingly young or at risk for complications.
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
18 Jul 08
[b]I wont demand abortion from her. Even if she wants abortion i wouldn't allowed it.
The baby is innocent. It's not right to get rid of it. Hard as can be and the situation may worsen. I will let the baby live. 
I will hold my daughters hand and guide her to the right direction. I will give her all my support.One mistake is enough.[/b]
@deemazing (395)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I don't think it would be right to force her to have an abortion. An abortion can cause much emotional stress, and that is a decision one should make on their own. I think that the parent should talk about all options with her and discuss together the benefits and disadvantages of each, without preaching too much of their own opinions. You should not cut off support if she made the choice to keep the baby...a parent should be there no matter what. She would end up having emotional stress for her entire life if a parent would not be there for her when she had to make the toughest decision of her life, and her parent didn't exactly agree with it.
