Are Kids Born Good or Bad?

Children are born ready to learn whichever way their parents choose to teach them. They are never born innately bad. Most "bad" children are bad because they have not been brought up very well. I don't think this is true for your case. Your child has an illness. He is not innately evil, he is mentally ill. There is a big difference and any good doctor should know and explain that. I have written articles about mental illness which you can find via the following links. One is specifically for schizophrenia and the other for multiple personality disorder. They are quite similar in a lot of ways although they are different illnesses. I don't know if they will help but there are further links on them to proper medical sites. http://www.helium.com/items/1058288-schizophrenia-symptoms-and-treatment http://personalitydisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/multiple_personality_disorder Where I feel that children are not born "bad", any mental illness is likely to be something with which they are born (with very few exceptions such as brain damage after an accident). This does not make them bad or evil. They just need extra support and you need to find a way to cope. As you know, it is not easy but it might help you if you could get a different doctor for a second opinion and more treatment options. You might also consider respite care for your son for a weekend. I know a lot of children who are bad because they have been brought up by parents who haven't taught them right from wrong. You have done what you can for your son and you are trying. You're obviously not the sort of parent who has a horrible child and blames an illness which isn't there for mistakes you have made. He has a real illness. There are a few treatments but, because he is so young, doctors might be reluctant to try some of them. Good luck. I hope you find something which helps. Remember, he will never get better. This illness will always stay with him and he will probably have lapses even with treatment but the illness can be controlled up to a point. Just persevere until you find the right treatment. Also remember that he is a teenager - they are an entirely different species! So whatever happens, he will still be a pain in the backside just because he's a teenage boy.:)

[b]every soul that is born is PURE, or as you said good, not bad...... it is only the environment which makes a person GOOD or BAD.... there is nothing to do with birth of a child......[/b] [i] so don't blame yourself......[/i] prayers for you and your family...

They say a childs personality is 50% genetic and 50% environmental. On saying this though I believe that societies supposed bad people are really those that are mentailly ill and have not been diagnosed properly and so therefore are not managed correctly yet. I do hope that you and your son can find what can help him and you through this life of challenges. The hardest lessons produce the most rewards.

I think some things are genetic like your disposition. However many things are also about the environment that children grow up in, your situation is different as your son has a disorder. I think kids are generally born good, and usually it is the way they are brought up which changes them.

I believe that we as parents can only do the best we can. I have three sons, the oldest has ADD, the middle has ADHD ODD and autism, and the youngest is boarding on the edge of being classified as a genius. We have gone through all of the same things you have and nothing ever seems to get better. My ex-husband "forgets" to give medicine and then when we get him back to our house it's a nightmare. It's all very hard but mostly I see my son(the middle) becoming the same way as yours because of his father's lack of responsibility when he has the child. Good Luck! My brother is 37 years old and my mother is still bailing him out of jail all the time.

Definitely Kids are born good. It depends on the environment the kids grow up and also the times during pregnancy will affect the child. That is why good care must start from pregnancy and continues in the child growth environment.

I don't think kids are born bad they learn it even if we don't realize it they are picking it up and even before the child is born they can hear what is going on outside the womb. As far as a metal problem I don't think that will make a child bad either.

thayes I disagree, children are born pure, untouched, unblemished so they pick up good or bad from their parents, other people, other kids, and teachers. I still think maybe he can be helped if seen by the right person. I know you have been down all sorts of roads with him but surely you cannot give up on your own son?whatdo you want to do about him? have you asked your son why he acts like he does? Could he be bi polar?

I would really like to know myself. My oldest daughter committed murder at age 18. I must say i did not raise her, But i do know that she was in trouble constantly. In foster care alot. She is now in prison and will be there until she is 65. My second, a son was in trouble a lot too. Played with fire, literally. Set many fires from a very young age. He spent time in juvinile homes 2 times. One of the juv homes he got the nick mane flames. Once he became 17 he was out on his own and was not in trouble again. Today at age 32 he is a recluse with his computer. My youngest daughter, now 26, is every parents dream child. Straight A's in school. Panic about not getting school assignments done. Presently going to college to be a teacher. Cleaned the house all the time. Didnt even strike a match till she was in her 20's. Had jobs since she was 14. And she suffers depression and has expressed deside to kill herself. I do not know why my children are the way they were. Almost went insane myself when my oldest committed the murder. Questioned myself constantly about this. Still do not know the answers but at least im at peace with myself. My best guess is that it is partially from birth than also enviroment.???

That seems so hard to handle and can empathize with you because I've had my share of problems with my two sons. I'm not sure about something going wrong in the womb, but we are all born into a sinful world. Its very hard to be a parent and sometimes we blame ourselves for the wasy our child turn out. I think do the best you can, its sounds like thats what you are doing and you sound like great parents. I certainally don't believe that there is nothing you can do, you can always try things like you have and I know that this is exhausting. But, because he is only 15 you have to keep trying. If he was 18, I would say if you don't want to follow our rules, or go to school then you will have to stay somewhere else. I remember a cop telling me that when my one son was 16,he said why do you continue to let him stay here? So, there are other options. My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you.

I don't know about being born bad however there are many things that can trigger this in a child.He may have something wrong in his brain that a doctor hasn't picked up on yet.Like the part of his brain that warns him that what h is doing is wrong may just not be functioning.Unfortunately I don't know if there is help out there for everything that can go wrong.This is a sad situation ,it stinks to know you probably haven't had much time to enjoy him,and yet I think this further aggravates the situation.Because you are tense and unhappy with him,he feels that and reacts to it.Yet it started with him in the 1st place I am sure he doesn't see it that way.Other people probably react negatively towards him as well,and this is going to make him worse. I don't see there being any one answer that is going to work,he is a little old now for behavior therapy,I don't know what kind of money you have but if you can afford it I would suggest one of those camps where they take the kids on a long hike and teach them things along the way.Peer pressure plays a big roll in helping them to see the foolishness of their actions and sometimes I think these camps work.They are very tough on these kids,they don't coddle them like us parents would do.They make them learn to do things for themselves help build their self confidence and stuff like that.It is just a thought. Good luck,I hope things get better Jas

Well most children have their own path and life lessons to learn and plus I think its a waste to think in terms of good and evil to me life isnt so black and white, but then again thats just me.

no one's born good or bad, it's how a person was raised and influenced by his surroundings that made him bad, and if its personality disorder then something is really wrong in him, don't stop the counseling coz this will help alot, my prayers for you and your family

the kids born good very good and pure like angels but when they grow up and see the bad things in this world they turn into bad people

no good,no bad.just nature,like a tree like a flower.good and bad are we learn after we born.

I guess this is apart of the age old discussion, nature vs nuture. I dont think there is an answer to this sort of thing, some children will be more 'difficult' then others, some children like to sit quietly and read others like to run around and yell, it is apart of the child, its their personality. I dont think any children are 'evil' some are just a little harder to understand then others.

It is not your fault. No matter what you do, I had a friend who had a normal pregnancy but had a child who from the time he was 6 months had such severe tantrums that he would hit his head against the wall until his head would bleed. All his waking hours he had to wear a helmet. After many years of therapy and meds of every sort, he seems to have sort his life out. He is not in an ivy league school and doing well.

Children are born neutral. Not good or bad. They become good or bad when they are capable of making choices.

It seems like a very tragic situation you are dealing with. I sympathize with you. I still have a toddler of four years old. I really don't think children are born with being instantly good or bad and I don't think the parent is at fault. I just believe it depends on how you treat your child. I will always go back to the same idea that children need attention, affection and acceptance. Good luck. It is not over yet. Some children and mainly teenagers have different ways of handling struggles in life than other kids. Your son may just find his own way out of this in a matter of a few years when he becomes an adult. You may be surprised. It is not always easy for me being a forty year old mother with a four year old son. But I am going to try. We don't know what the future holds, although I know we all wish we did. Once again, Good Luck!

pray for a blessing child. u will have a good one.. just that simple. tHat is what i believe.