I thought she was my friend......

Wow, she is very pity also..I mean just because of attention, she forgot the bond that you have! Anyway, all my close friends now are not like that...We are happy to appreciate each other and satisfied about sharing experiences and admitting what are our flaws and weaknesses. but, I have met a new friend not so close since I don't want too who is acting like a weird for me..LOL! Weird in the sense that I have no friends how are like that...She will talk a lot about herself, how beautiful and attractive she is for other men and a lot of men tried to get her attention even if she is married..things like that...I do know if it's true but if ever it is, who cares..LOL! I mean, I can't talk like that almost every meeting...Anyway, being insecure and having low self-esteem tends to puck these people to just lift their own chair for them!

Hello snoopy04, I am sorry about your friend treating you like that, she must really been very jealous about you, you find she won't many friends now. I don't have any trouble with my friends like that . all my friends are very pretty all middle age so no problems. But you are better off without her. Tamarafireheart.

This is very true. In general, how well do you really know anybody? The worst thing a friend can do is be overly jealous. Jealously can be harmless, but I've seen it go as far as physically damaging someone else's life. It's sad to think that someone who cares about you ends up freaking out because your life isn't theirs.

It is true sometimes you never truly know who your friends are,and by the time you find out it is to late,and it is always tough to find out that someone you are really close to is spreading rumors about you behind your back,and it is even worse when they decide to lie instead of fessing up to it,it sucks that you had to learn the truth from a video on the mutual friends phone,and it sounds like she is suffering from extreme jealousy,which is never a good thing and it can tear the closest friends apart,but I am to say no one needs friends like that,and if you are a true friend to someone then you would not say nasty things about them.

There are plenty of other people out there to be friends with. It is a pity that this woman allowed jealousy to destroy your friendship, but stuff like that does happen.

gaining a true friend is hard. its like your out on a sea trying to dive or surf for a pearl. i can relate to this topic because i also experienced it. for me its a good decission that two of you seperates because if your friend is a real one she will not stab you at your back. as my mom always told me "befriend only to people who will help you develope and will lead you to a right path because not all the friends you have are FRIENDS" hope this quote from my mom helps.. well thats life atleast now you know that she is not a real friend.

Personally I think both of you need to take a cool off period and you need to really evaluate the whole situation. True friendship is not without hardship. Things get said in the heat of the moment which really, in the end, are most often not meant. And if they are, more often than not, there is a deep rooted other issue causing this. To me, it sounds like your friend has been holding up feelings for some time now. Look at the whole situation. You are married with children, is she? You talk about in school, that she wanted more attention etc. Is that the true case or was she battling feelings of being left out. Sounds more like sister syndrome to me than anything. One sister has this and the other just wishes to be on equal ground. It sounds like she is "starving" for some individual attention. Really look at the entire thing, pull yourself out of yourself and look at it as a bystander. Hard as it may be to do, you may see something that could open your eyes. A friendship of years should never be just blatantly thrown away because you dont want to look hard into things. Jealousy, fear, insecurity, all of these things will drive a person to destruction, self destruction. And your "friend" who tattled, thought she may have felt she was assisting you, it sounds in the manner she did things added fuel. If she was a true friend, she also would be trying to find a solution to save things instead of destroy them. Friendships of a lifetime don't come often. Through the ups and downs you need to work things out. Get to the root of the feelings and assist your friend in solving this problem. Not everyone knows how to communicate properly in a healthy envoronment or manner. A true friend does not walk away from another friends internal turmoil. A true friend does not just turn away and say friendship over. And yes, occasionally a true friend will say things that will hurt another. It happens. It is how you deal with it that makes the difference.

Sorry to hear you lost your "best friend" since high school. I dont have many friends for this very reason. It takes a secure, mature person to be a real friend. You have to love yourself in order to be a real friend. As I get older, I find many women dont love themselves. Outside appearance has never been a priority in my life and it saddens me to see other women make this their only priority. I made a blog on this very topic if you want to check it out. Women tell me its hard to be my friend because "I tell the brutal truth" with no finesse. Go figure. I guess they like being lied to? Sorry but not for me. http://www.squidoo.com/mytomboylife

Hello snoopy. I understand what you might be feeling to what happened between the two of you. It's really sad when the bond between long-time friends end up that way. I just can imagine the hurt you felt while watching the video, see her talking about you that way. When all the while, you thought everything's good in that friendship. It is her loss, and not yours. She chose to let your friendship be destroyed with her unjustified jealousy. Real friends support and encourage each other, and not the other way around. And real friends are sincerely happy for you and they don't silently hate you for the attention that they think should be theirs. She's a great actress for being able to hide those negative feelings towards you and still be able to give you a happy smile(which is truly fake). I'm thinking the mutual friend who showed you the video couldn't take it anymore. The backstabbing that your long-time friend was doing to you. Thank goodness for friends like her who won't just stay silent and let you be treated that way. I don't backstab my friends. If I'm upset about something that my friend did, I let them know, indirectly. I'm not really good with trying to explain how I feel. Because I usually end up crying. So, somehow that friend will eventually feel that something isn't right because I'm not my usual jolly self. I'm somehow lukewarm in my approach. But I have never ever said anything bad about friends behind their backs. I do have a friend whom I feel is not treating me the way I treat her. This friend only sends me text messages whenever she needs something. I didn't notice it at first, but as time went on, it's starting to dawn on me that it's like that way between us. I usually send her text messages, asking how she is. And she'll reply. And that's it. She doesn't make contact with me, asking how I'm doing or my family. She'll just call one day, asking how I'm doing then proceed on asking me about something that she needs. It's truly disappointing. And sometimes I feel upset about this. But I don't say bad things about her, even if I feel that she's using me in some way. I just ask my mom and my sisters for advice. I explain the situation and maybe I'm just wrong in my assumption. She stopped being your true friend, snoopy, way back when you were both in high school. The time when she started seething with silent jealousy. You will still meet other people and you never know, you might find a true friend in them one day.

With a friend like that, who needs enemies. She is a very jealous person, of you, and will do anything to get attention. I think she want to alienate you from other friends because then it makes her feel like she is a better friend to the others than you are. Some people aren't happy if they are not the centre of attention and it sounds like she is like that. She wants to be the center of attention with all of your other friends and she can't handle that you get the attention. Like I said, it is jealousy and jealousy can ruin a person and make them do things that they later regret. You need to talk to her about all of this and if she can't change the way she is, then you may have to reconsider your friendship with her. You may have to drop her as a friend because who wants to be friends with someone like that anyways. Good luck in what you decide to do about it.

i hang out with intellectual people, and dont really have that problem. but i am the one that people say nasty things about because the resent me and how i look. so i am like you, and seem to end up hanging out with the younger crowd better.

Dearest Snoopy, I am sorry that this happened with your friendship. The thing is that although this was very hurtful, forgiveness might be in order. Your friend has low self esteem and very often what we do is to take out our fears on the very person that we love (namely she did it to you). She had to put you down to make herself shine--it is not really about you but about how she sees herself. She does not love who she is so, she did what she did to make others see her the way she sees you. She didn't know how to do anything different. When you know better, you do better. Does she have a painful past? Have others hurt her? These are the things that shape the way people think, feel and act as well as react. You are her friend and although she hurt you, she is still your friend and she loves you--she does not know how to show you. Use compassion, let her know she hurt you but that you love her, and that you can help her with her body if she needs, also tell her that you want to help her work on loving herself. Sometimes in our pain we give up on others but the measure of friendship shines most when there is pain. Prove yourself friendly.

i'll admit i've been jealous and hurt by friends and relatives that seem to get a better deal than me, but i wouldn't lie about them or try to deface them. i either say or do nothing, or go somewhere else and start something new to put myself into.

I think what is funny is, it isn't always about looks. Alot of it is how you carry yourself and your attitude. Most of my girlfriends are fit and trim, work out, blah blah blah. Out of us two of us are slightly pudgy, didn't lose the baby fat type of thing. Well the other out of us two, when all of us go out, gets most of the attention. Why, because she isn't afraid of what people think of her. She is there to have fun and is always peppy and confidant. Which in turn makes her more appealing than most. Your "friend" sounds as though she just doesn't have enough confidence in herself, so she has to make you look bad whether you do anything or not. I say, congratulations, enjoy yourself and stay confidant!!

i never really felt jealous with my friends because i know that we are all special and we share a lot of things that makes us happy. i would not dare say nasty things behind her back because i know it is not good. your friend really felt insecure but she did a very bad choice. she spread rumors behind your back that indicates how she betrays you and that she is not being true to you. she even lied to you. sometimes, too much insecurity may lead to a problem so it's better to share how you feel to your frends because if they are true to you they will try to understand you..

boy, this sounds like high school!! Your friend needs to grow up! And you deserve to find some real friends

Hi snoopy04. You gave a lot of details with a lot of "I"s and "her" and "she". It sounds like very emotional situation. I think you have to ask yourself, what you want and it may still be possible that you want the friendship of your girlfriend, no matter what she did. Alternatively you may have been kidding yourself for years that she was your friend. Were you kidding yourself? Was there evidence there of her being nasty to you before, which you chose to ignore or make excuses for? You can forgive here. That is always possible, but don't kid yourself and only get back with her if you can accept each other for who you are. Have nice weekend.

I have friends from when I was 7yrs old. We still are the best of buddies and I am always very proud of that. And I always give my friends room for them to get ahead of me if they want. The only thing that they hate about me is that I tell them on the face if they do something I dont like. In way they hate me for that and in a way they admire my guts too. Otherwise there is no problem in our friendship.

You know,if she is truly your friend, it is worth working it out. I would never lose my childhood bestfriend over a few lb. Your both pretty and get the looks from guys. So just explain to her that you needed to feel better about your self, and how much she means to you. This same thing happened to me. Not with a bestfriend though. Just in the work place. You realy just have to laern how to show the jealous B***** you don't care what they say about you. I lost 50 lbs. They named me MISS. ******** (THE NAME OF THE PLACE WHERE I WORK). I work in a factory, And I don't own it, needless to say. They Call You A Queen. Tell them yeah, the queen of your home. And if you have it FLAUNT IT ! If your proud, keep showing it. IF she is your friend she'll come around, if She misses you as much as you miss her. I would try to get my friend back. Without losing who I am.

Wow. I am so sorry to hear about this. For one, I am proud of you!!! That is a great accomplishment. Your friend should be ashamed of herself. She should be happy and proud of you and instead she chose to let her jealousy over run herself. This is a sad thing. I value honesty the most in friendships, and right when I saw that video, I would have instantaneously wanted answers. Especially since you guys were so 'close'. As much as it hurts, I'd say find a new group of friends or focus on your family. Be proud to be the 'pretty mommy' ! =]