Help me please! Meeting my bfs parents!

I am sure that you are nervous about meeting your boyfriends parents for the first time,and I am sorry to hear that you were sexually abused a mates dad when you were fourteen,but not all mean are bad,and you need to try and trust men,and I would say dress like yourself,because you want his parents to accept you for who you are,and I am glad that your boyfriend is going to stay by your side,and it might help if you think happy thoughts,like say to yourself that it will go find,and just try to find things that you enjoy doing to help you destress.

I have met my ex's parents before but its only because we live in the same town, and they were my parents friends. But meeting them, as in introducing me to them as their (ex's) gf, never happened. But my 5-year bf now, he brought me to their house, introduced me to his parents and siblings, and stayed their for a couple of days. Like you, I was so nervous days before the meeting, and especially when we were on our way. My most concern in meeting them, was, what should i do during the meeting and the days that ill be staying with them. But they were so nice to me though they didnt talked too much, but they made me comfortable and feel that they like me. After that, I used to go to my bf when he goes home.. Actually, Ive spent one new year with them. So, if I were you, I will not pretend to be what Im not..Just be yourself..wear clothes that would not depict you as somebody else. wear something nice but comfortable. And about your fear caused by a bad experience, face it. And always remember that not all people are the same.. not all people will do harm on you. If you know your bf too well, then you should know what kind of people his parents are. Goodluck! and enjoy! dont let fear rule over your excitement.

I think it is a very important occasion and you have the right to be nervous about it. The other thing about being abused is something else. You have been obviously traumatized by the experience and you need to work it out with yourself in order to have a good life. Your boyfriend seems like a very supportive guy and he will be there as well so you have a known factor there when it happens. If his parents are anything like him I think you will do fine. Cheers!!

When I met my fiance's parent's it was difficult too. I was scared, and really didn't have anything suitable to wear. The fact that it was kind of spontaneous and on my fiance's dad's birthday was also a bit hard to swallow. I think I asked him to turn around and let me change, but he wouldn't let me. I zipped up my coat and was as nice as I could be. I was scared, we waited for his parents in his truck outside of a restaurant in the county I used to live in. When I met them the first time I observed that his dad was quiet, and his mom seemed to make all the decisions. I live with them now, and I was right. His dad is quiet and his mom does make all the decisions, lol. I think the best thing for you to do is to try to stay in a very big room or in a well aired area of their house or even outside. Remember that your bf will be there for you and don't worry about what your supposed to wear. Wear jeans and a nice shirt, and just be yourself. Try not to make eye contact with the father but make eye contact with the mother. If the dad doesn't like that you didn't make eye contact, the mother will be able to assure him that you did make eye contact with her. I think that it's not uncalled of to not make eye contact with the father. I hope that you have a great time, and try not to worry. Have a Wonderful Lovely Day!

First off be calm dont stress out to bad it won't hurt to meet them.. I meet my husband on the internet and two months after that i went and met them.. which they live like 600 hundred miles away.. I was so nervous i didn't know what to do and i had to meet to famiy cause his parents split up so they have there own lifes his mother is married and his fathers is married to someone different.. I had to meet four different people.. To tell them that we met on the internet was embarrasing in its self.. So i suject where some nice like a pair of nice jeans and a nice shirt.. Just be calm don't freak out... Its realy isnt that bad i promise... After 5 months of knowing each other we had to tell his partens that we were getting married was hard too... Just don't worry about it everything will be okay... How long have you two been dating???

Choose something comfortable but conservative. That means, no cleavage showing, no tube tops, nothing that doesn't cover your stomach. No skirts or dresses that don't at least touch the knees. No pants that look like you spray-painted them on. It is a pity that you were abused, but the only way to have a life is to work your way past your fears. If you haven't done so already, speak with a counselor and/or clergy member.

Well just relax and enjoy meeting your guy's parents. I am pretty sure that if you just relax and enjoy their company they will enjoy yours too. The past experience with other male is already past and should not be taken by it. Not all older men are like the one that you had decades ago. I am pretty sure that what you like about you BF right now is the same as his father is most probably. So just relax and enjoy their company I am pretty sure you'll get the hang of it.

Meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time is really stressful. It's not really easy to find good clothes to wear during these meetings! LOL But don't worry, just be yourself. I don't really that your boyfriend's parents are ogres or something worst than that. They are probably just as anxious to meet you as you are with them. Just stay cool and relax. You'll do fine. Besides, your boyfriend will be there to rescue you if something do not go as planned.

I'd say wear something that you are comfortable wearing, while also making sure that it's not something particularly revealing. So if you've got a favorite shirt or something that is really comfortable to you, that would be perfect. Meeting your boyfriend's parents is always an awkward situation. Just take it slowly, and remember that his parents want him to be happy. Since you make him happy, they are most likely going to like you. I always felt kind of awkward around my fiance's dad at first, but eventually he realized that I was one of the best things that has ever happened to his son, so it got much more comfortable after that. It also helps that he and I both studied the same thing in school (and went to the same college for a while), so we have lots to talk about.

I wish you all the best. As for the clothes you'd wear, I would suggest you pick something that you're comfortable with. Wear something that says, "This is me. =)". I know it's hard to meet your partner's parents especially for the first time since you don't know what to expect. It is perfectly normal to be scared. I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you before. Don't be afraid that you'll make a mistake or say something, it's normal and it's fine to commit mistakes. Think of it as a very very good chance to know your bf's family better. Be as excited as you can be that in a short, while you'll learn more about their lifestyle. It will be ok as well. Your boyfriend will be just beside you. Oh and parents know better, they may actually tell you stories about their son. Who knows what your bf's experiences are when he was with them. There're a lot of good things to expect.

Calm down. Relax. I know it is tough to meet your bf's parents. And I do understand your fear. I guess, to start with, wear something comfortable but classy. Something that will fit the family of your boyfriend. If they are the casual type, blend in. If they are the formal type, be it. As long as you are comfortable of what you are wearing. As for your fear, you can not outgrow that overnight. I would encourage you to talk to your boyfriend about it so he can set your expectations of his dad. The fear actually comes in when you are uncertain of what is to happen. Then, make it certain. Set the right expectations. Everything will be well. Good day!

Hi Kelly, I can understand how worry you are and stressing,panic w/ this meeting of your bf parents becouse you love thier son and you want to impress them.But you have to be yourself.Just be your self do the things that u usually wear and do.They will love you because you love thier son and thier son love you. You are funny why you gonna have panic attacks ahahaha.be careful that they doesnt need to bring you to the hospital because you got heart attack.It will be ok dont stress..Is he really that scary hahaha..Well i remembered when the first i met my partner parents i was also very polite and shy.I am so lucky because they are so sweet.. They bring me some cake w/ my name on it and thanking me that i am loving my partner and taking care of him. But i agree w/ you that you have to leave good impressions to them.But i am sure that your bf will help you with that..Goodluck..And dont stress!!!..You can do it! Greetings from Che!

First of all just stay calm. Having a calm mood would help you think properly of what to wear for tomorrow and all the other things. Maybe, if you don't mind, I think you should tell your bf about your experience with men because it might help on how his father would deal with you. If you want to relax just o this simple breathing exercise to help you get relaxed. Take a deep breath and hold it for three counts, exhale slowly while counting from one to ten. Repeat this for about ten or fifteen times and surely you'll feel more relaxed.

Be calm and relax,just be yourself. I think if you are being yourself,everything will be fine. Communication is important, talk to your bf's parents in nice way,show your respect,I am sure they will like you.

Hey Kelley, hope all is well! The advice in this thread of people in your situation is right on, and really valuable. Anyone in your situation should take the advice others have shared in this thread and really consider it in the future.

Oh, it first seemed that you are just afraid of meeting them. again I acme to know from the post that you were abused by the dad of your mate. But in life this fear can't go foreever. so try to look at it positively dress sensibly to amke impression.

well i think you should go in something presentable. but it should be something that says 'this is me'. you shouldn't be wearing something that says otherwise about your character. it's pretty hard to live up to a false pretense intended to impress. if you are a normally t-shirt-and-jeans gal, then go in jeans with a nicer top. as for your panic attacks, i'm sure your bf's parents will understand. it's not a small matter and i sure hope they'll be nice about it. your bf's promise to be by your side all the time should help also. i am so sorry to hear about what happened to you. i really hope this meeting will go well. at least it'll help you towards the road of recovery. good luck and all the best.

you should make a good impresion by dressing well.thats one of the best impressions that you can make.do not be nervous because being nervous causes you to have a bad impressions.you should just be yourself and have a whole lot of confidence

Hey there KellyMate, I think you need to dress accordingly. I don't think that you can 'show my true self' to the parents. Like some of the girls have this principle that they must be theirselves all the time (the 'i dont like to pretend' type of gals). I think it definitely doesn't work so you have to dress nicely. OMG!!! you've been sexually abused??!!! that's really SAD. I really understand your phobia. It happens to people who have been traumatised by a dreadful event. It's good to hear that your bf is there for ya. I'm sure he'll get you through this ordeal.

keep calm dont worry aobut a nice sun dress would do just fine and remember theres something that he likes about you so let that shine through.