My Brother Called And Apologized To Me And To Hubby!!
By CatsandDogs
@CatsandDogs (13963)
United States
July 17, 2008 1:52pm CST
You could've knocked me over with a feather!! Wow!! Awesome!! Yes he was a jackass through and through and can be when the notion hits him but if he's man enough to call and apologize, I'm woman enough and hubby is man enough to accept. My brother has a thin easy to set off temper and in his younger years he'd never apologize or admit his wrong doing but he must be growing up or has grown up for him to do it now!! To be honest, if I had've known it was him calling, I wouldn't have answered the phone but thanks to my caller ID not coming up clear on the phone, I didn't know it was him and it's a good thing this time because I DID answer the phone and got a hell of a surprise! I feel so close to crying because I'm happy and yet sad all at the same time. I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster with the ups and downs and ups and downs. How am I to keep going like this? To turn this into a discussion of sorts, have you ever gone through such hardship and what did you do? How did you deal with it?
6 people like this
14 responses
@mflower2053 (3223)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Thats good that he called an apologized. I'm still waiting for my step sister to call and apologize for trying to turn my whole family against me and she is 33 years old so you would think she would know better. I feel bad for her b/c the only things that come out of her mouth or lies. Its like she can't help herself. I just hope it doesn't rub off on my niece and she turns out to be a better person then my step sister. Oh and for her trying to turn my family against me she is so pissed that it didn't work she won't talk to any of us. I hate being around her thats how bad she is. She has a way of making you feel down when she is around. She also gets a high off talking bad about people. Isn't that sad. The girl needs help.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I wouldn't hold my breath waiting on her to apologize because she's too far into herself to apologize which is really sad. She's very jealous of you and that too is sad. Try to look in another direction for friendship or your other sibilings so you don't have to worry about her. She isn't worth your time with that kind of hate she has inside.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Yes he was out of order and hubby let him know it too. We're all good now though. I'm sure he'll help again if I asked but I'm sooooo NOT asking!!
@GardenGerty (160624)
• United States
17 Jul 08
I had someone apologize to me nine years after she had bad mouthed me, and frustrated me, and made me lose my temper. At that time it almost never happened. I am thrilled for you, though, and there is a reason the caller ID did not come up. You needed this good bit of conversation to lift you up a little. Like I said, I think he feels guilty for not helping, and that makes him touchy. He is condemning himself, so he lashes out at you.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Yeah you're right GardenGerty because he's said that before but it surprised the day lights out of me that he would vent out on me, the one who's doing it all. But now I know he can't handle it, I won't call him. If I need monetary help, I'll send him an email other than that, the phone conversations be all peachy cream from now on. I can't handle his venting right now. I just can't. I'm already on an emotional rollercoaster and don't need him or anyone else dogging me any more than I already am. I love my brother and always will but he hurt me pretty bad and taught me a hell of a lesson which I won't soon forget but I have forgiven him.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
18 Jul 08
Your brother made the right move. He is sorry for all the trouble he has inflicted on you. There should always be give and take among siblings. I have never take to heart whatever harsh words my sibblings throw at me for I believe that keeping grudges will bring me nowhere and it gives me more stress in life. Afterall blood is thicker than water.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Hi Zandi 
I agree, there should be some give and take among sibilings however to a point though because some sibilings like the cause problems between one another and to keep forgiving and letting them in your life is just asking for more trouble. For example, my aunt, my mom's sister, she's very vindictive and mean when the mood hits her but yet my mom forgives her time and time again and my brothers and I don't understand why. We know it's a matter of time before she does it again. We think mom should've wrote her off years and years and years ago but she hasn't and probably never will. My uncle has though. He wants nothing to do with her.
I agree, there should be some give and take among sibilings however to a point though because some sibilings like the cause problems between one another and to keep forgiving and letting them in your life is just asking for more trouble. For example, my aunt, my mom's sister, she's very vindictive and mean when the mood hits her but yet my mom forgives her time and time again and my brothers and I don't understand why. We know it's a matter of time before she does it again. We think mom should've wrote her off years and years and years ago but she hasn't and probably never will. My uncle has though. He wants nothing to do with her.
@NoddaProbBob (108)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Wow. Good for you. Im 18 and my brother is about 20, and it would be a miracle if he could apologize. He is very irresponsible. Rude. Amongst other variant things. But he does some idiotic things. I wish he were man enough as your brother had been to apologize. Im glad someone has a good sibling. My brother and yours are very VERY much alike.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Give your brother time and hope he'll grow up and come around. Right now he's young and has A LOT to learn. For now, stay away from him and watch him from a distance because if he doesn't learn soon enough, someone will knock the day lights out of him which is what he'll need in order to learn right from wrong.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Yes! Of course! He's my brother and unfortunetly he vented on the wrong one. It's all well and good though because I know why he did and that's ok. Besides, I know what's in his heart and it took a lot for him to call and apologize.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
17 Jul 08
I am so happy for you. Your brother really needed to call and apologize, he was way out of line. He should be thanking you for all that you are doing. It sure can be tough to be the only child close when you have aging parents. My mom is getting up there and her health isn't great, I am the only one here. I have two sisters but they live far away. Its scary to think about the future and my duties, just like what you are going thru. I guess all you and I can do is the best we can. Take care, I wish you and the family all the best.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I don't mind the advice at all, I will keep your advice in mind. I hope it doesn't come to any of that. I just have my mom and she lives alone, I am the only one here. I live in Ohio, I have a sister that lives in Florida and a sister that lives in Virginia. I actually do feel sorry for them, someday they will be sorry they didn't have more time with our mom. I spend lots of time with her, we do lots of things together too. She has heart problems and a few other things wrong. I feel so sorry for you and your hubby, your mom and dad too. All you can do is the best you can, I think you deserve the best daughter award.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Thanks Polly but I'm not THAT good or deserving!! lol But thanks.... you made me feel good just saying that!! ((((HUGS))))
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Polly, I hope you don't mind some advice for I'm going to give you some. If and when the time comes that you're to care for your aging parents, stand up to them and not let them make you feel guilty. Make them understand that what you do is only in their best interest and if they don't listen then you're out the door. The reason I say this is because honestly, I'm scared of my mother. I can't tell her how I really feel or she'll turn it around on me. One minute she loves me and bla bla bla but let me do one thing wrong... whoa!! I'll be nonexistant. I'll be the worth thing that walked this earth. If she knew how I REALLY felt about her hard headedness, I don't think she'd like me one bit but you know, the truth hurts sometimes but so does my heart too.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
17 Jul 08
I am so glad he did! All I can tell you is take one day at a time and don't dwell on the next. You will go crazy! I hope that he is willing to listen and talk with you now.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Hey Thoroughrob... I'm not calling him ever again. I've been through pure hell while he and my other brother just come down to visit WHEN they can and for him to go off on me like he did just killed my heart. I can forgive but I can't forget and it just broke all trust I ever had in him. Never again will I spill my guts to him again. My heart hurts enough as it is. I love him dearly and I know he's sorry but I won't hand my heart out to him again out of fear.
Right now I'm so emotional that I could cry at the drop of a hat. I'm not normally this way because it's really hard to make me cry but it's not now. I wish there was a way to get my energy and sanity back but I guess that too, will take time.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
20 Jul 08
I had a neighbour who said something really mean about me to his wife and I was asked not to even step into their home. His wife was my best friend....and she was hurt that he said that about me (based on something his parents said). I was really hurt too and stopped talking to them. Both of us were even embarassed to wish each other in the elevator.
then one day, the couple came over to my place for something and as they were leavning, the husband apologized and said that he had said what he had due to his stress and frustrations...and to please come home again.
My husband is still mad at the man....but I've forgiven enough to talk to the family again.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
21 Jul 08
Your husband loves you and is afraid you'll get hurt again and that's why he's still angry. I can't blame him but hopefully in due time he'll find it in his heart to forgive as well and hopefully your friends husband learned a lesson in taking things out on other people. Shame on him.
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
17 Jul 08
I'm so glad your brother came to his senses and apologized to you and hubby. It's about time too! I don't know if you remember my discussion last year about the betrayal of my former best friend or not. But in a nutshell I introduced her and my other best friend thinking we would be one big happy family, and that was the worst mistake of my life because the former friend badmouthed me up one side and down the other to the 2nd best friend. It really hurt. I'm still dealing with emotions from it, wondering how my actions look to others, etc. I know it's because the former friend is so very jealous and possessive, and very self centered, but it still has me on that up and down roller coaster like you're on. I just try to make it a point each day to think of something positive that will get me through the day...that way it makes it harder for the negatives to push their way into my head. I hope that makes sense hon.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Hi Katlady, I vaguely remember that. Gosh I'm so sorry you had to endure such pain!! Believe it or not, I went through that twice and it's very very painful especially when the second friend knew about the first and did the same exact thing. The last one was about a year and a half ago. Such is life, I guess and boy what lessons we learn!! Anyway, take one day at a time sweetie, it's all you can do and like you said, think of something positive and you'll get past it. It's hard, I know that! but you have to take one day at a time.
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Yes, I know the emotional roller coaster well. Sometimes I handle it with style and grace and other times I do not handle it well at all. It can take a lot of your energy. It can wear you out. To combat this, do something nice for yourself. Take time for you. Go to the spa. Go for a walk. Take a nap. Do anything that will help you to regain your emotional balance.
Stay Safe, Stand Strong ((hugs))
Royal Mom
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Hi Royal, it has worn me out to the point that anxiety has gotten the better of me and I'm all broke out with lupus but I hope to get it under control once again and soon. I can't go for a walk because of having lupus, I can't get in the sun, can't afford the spa... lol and no time for a nap but now that mom is in rehab again, a different one, I've had to cut down the times I can go see her because of gas prices, we've had to use the credit card to buy gas which can't be done too often for it's expensive. So easy to go into debt and so hard to get out of it. UGH. Such is life, right? lol ((((hugs to you too!))))
@mummymo (23706)
•
19 Jul 08
I am so glad that your caller id was not displaying properly - sometimes I believe these things happen for a reason and in this case that is very true! So pleased that he has been man enough to apologise and you guys accepted - you are going through enough without any more hassle! I have had some very difficult times sweety but yours seems to have outdone any of them! Hugs and love as always! xxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
23 Jul 08
I know it has been extremely tough for you honey but things are finally beginning to work out and this post made me heart happy for you! I am so glad that your Dad is taking responsibility and learning how to do things , it can't be easy but at least he is trying and you will hopefully get some rest now! Hugs xx
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
20 Jul 08
Oh how do I agree!! I'm so glad the caller id didn't work either or I would not have answered the phone! lol God does work in mysterious ways and He sure did this time!! My dad just called me an hour ago telling me he got the washing machine fixed and the freezer is giving him problems. Geeze, when it rains it pours!! Ugh! Tomorrow I'm going up to his house to give his two chihuahua's a bath and then when they dry, I'll put frontline on them both. He says they're digging so yeah, it's time. Poor dad, he doesn't know how to do it and is learning everything pretty well and this is just another thing for him to learn. Mom used to do everything. I mean EVERYTHING 
except repairs so dad's learning things really well and doing all the chores really well - now that I made a list of what needs doing, he can't forget. lol
except repairs so dad's learning things really well and doing all the chores really well - now that I made a list of what needs doing, he can't forget. lol1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
17 Jul 08
I am glad that he phoned and apologised it is times like this that families need to pull together and not fall apart. I have been through a hardship, one that lasted for 2 years I did not have anybody to turn too and had to shoulder it all alone. As a result of it all I lost 5 stone so some good did come out of it and there was light at the end of the tunnel but at the time it felt like it was never ending and some days I just did not think that I would have the strength to carry on. But I did and now a year and a half on things are a lot brighter.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Hi gemini rose, you lost 5 stone? What do you mean you lost 5 stone? Sorry but I don't understand what you mean. Clock me in the head will ya? lol I'm so glad to hear your ordeal is over and things are much brighter for you. I'm sure it was a hell of a road to travel on getting where you are now and I can only hope and pray that it gets better for me as well. Time will tell. Time will tell.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
17 Jul 08
Through all the stress that I went through I lost 5 stone in weight xx
1 person likes this
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
17 Jul 08
It is wonderful that he called to apologize. I know how upset you were the other night. It does take a big man to step up to the plate and admit that they are wrong. In the heat of the moment we all say and do things that after we think about it, we are sorry for our actions.
You and your husband should be commended on being woman and man enough to accept his apology.
Maybe the healing will now begin with you and your family.
I will continue to keep you all in my prayers.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I'm so happy that he did for it really put a damper on me because I can't talk to my other brother for he's so different from the rest of us. It's hard to explain, I love him dearly and wish the best for him but he's different and he tears things apart and inspects it too much which dearly gets on my nerves. lol
