How do you become friends with your ex?
By polaris714
@polaris714 (607)
Philippines
July 22, 2008 12:08am CST
I want to stay friends with him because I really like him, even if we do set each other's tempers off after we broke up. I like him as a person, as a friend, but we could never make it as lovers.
How do you stay friends with him without giving him the idea that you still want him back as a lover?
2 people like this
5 responses
@acmomcee (49)
•
22 Jul 08
That I think is very impossible, well most of the times. No matter how we want to. Especially when you both have special someones already or even just one of you. It'll be so unfair to the present relationship since no matter how he/she denies it, it'll still be a worry to him/her for having you around them. This is a reality. And this is mostly the reason why the present relationship don't last. So better keep the memories and let yourselves live your lives separately.
1 person likes this
@polaris714 (607)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
That's a caution. Yes, I guess the opinion and feelings of your present partner should be taken into consideration. If he or she would rather not, then its a no-no. But if he or she is OK with it, maybe its possible, but only a very "transparent" relationship, if you know what I mean. Thank you and happy mylotting
@Anne19 (300)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
I think that one's of the things every ex couple wish to have. But unfortunately, it wasn't that easy considering that you have shared your innermost feelings and passion with that person. Often times it's so hard to look at your ex without feeling something. Especially, if you have loved that person so much and your parting is not good. And more son if you broke up because the other has cheated. That will be, indeed, a very tough situation to start being friends. I think if ex partners become friends, it is because they have already outgrown their love for each other. But I would say being friends is quite risky. You might fall in love with that person again even though you know you'll never meet on common grounds.
1 person likes this
@polaris714 (607)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
I must say, that was a very perceptive comment. It is very hard to look at him and not have the memories come rushing back, even at the oddest moments. Still, knowing we have burned our bridges...what a dilemma indeed. I think you got the idea. Thank you for coming by and take care.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
I would say that it should be a mutual understanding between you and your ex. I guess if he's not comfortable with you anymore especially you ended your relationship out of anger then maybe it may take time before you patch things up again. Be patient if you really want him to be your friend again. That is really the risk of starting a romantic relationship out of a friendly relationship. Sometimes when things does not go well the separation may become permanent at all. So maybe you could talk things over with him and try to be as patient and understanding as you can be.
1 person likes this
@polaris714 (607)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
Patience is a virtue...yes thank you for your suggestion. And for dropping by. Happy Mylotting.
@raina21 (130)
• India
22 Jul 08
Hi there
would definitely like to comment on ur discussion coz I'm also now try being a freind to someone whom I thought I loved...well I know its difficult coz as soon as u see the person u start remembering of the past and it doesn't let u start a new relationship altogether...
I think it will take time more so coz ur tempers do not match...
Don't give him that much importance and don't try to force him in the relation.Just give him the idea that u wanna be frnds with him and patiently wait for the response,even if he accepts try keeping a little distance from him.this will make sure that u are not interested in him now...
Hope this response helps u...
Take care..
@polaris714 (607)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
raina21, thank you for your suggestions. They're gonna help a lot. Good luck with yours too. :)
@swennerholm (664)
• Sweden
7 Aug 08
I still want my ex to be my friend because of we never meant to be,So i was thinking how about to become good friends.It would be difficult if we still felt something to each other but were not so it easy to be friend with my ex.
@polaris714 (607)
• Philippines
9 Aug 08
I agree it would be difficult to stay friends with your ex if you still feel something for each other. You might end up becoming lovers again, and then going thru the pain of another breakup. Or this could be even worse if each of you is already committed to someone else.
If one of you still feels something for the other, I suppose it might be best to keep a "safe distance"? But if its only mutual respect and friendship that you feel for each other, then maybe it might be safer, huh?