Who's has the final say in your house?
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
July 22, 2008 1:27pm CST
I have been around alot of kids since my new job. I have been noticing that alot of kids, no matter how old, have the say so in their families. It got me thinking about my own family, as well as that of my friends. I guess I would be considered strict. I will not be ignored. I have seen so many different types of tragedies and misfortune when it comes to parenting or children that I try to protect my kids at all costs. However, I dont judge. My kids tell me everything because they know I am always on their side. Even if they do something wrong. I have this friend who lets her kid do, say, or eat anything. His room is disgusting. He gets bored and throws food and god knows what else on the ceiling. Another lets her daughter sleep naked because her daughter likes it. When she stayed at my house the mom said oh she sleeps naked. I told her not in my house. This is where my bluntness comes in that my children and husband dread. I told her that this was cute maybe once. Considering all the people they have at their house its not the best idea. A neighbor told me her 9 month old is still only on formula because she doesnt want a fat kid. Are you serious? I guess I will keep my position as the BOSS in my castle. How about you? Any weird friends?
2 people like this
9 responses
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
22 Jul 08
My husband let his kids do pretty much whatever they wanted to. I totally don't agree. I mean, his daughter stopped talking to him because he didn't ask her first if it was ok for us two to get married. Nah, I'm the "boss" of my kids. We discuss things, but it's usually up to me.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Unfortunately, my husband lets his kids do whatever they want because he wants them to like him. I mean, they are after all children of divorced parents. They really milked that whole thing to and he keeps letting them. They're his kids and he's going to have to deal with it down the road. They're "adults" but sure don't know how to act like it.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I think thats the best way to be. I wouldnt put up with the mess your spouse's kids are doing. It's a perfect example of what happens when you let your children run the show. They think they have control in every aspect of his life. I am very sorry for him. Maybe he can learn from you that there is a middle ground. I am so frustrated that we as a society have allowed children to think they can control us. This makes children think they are more mature than they really are. I am glad that someone else believes in compromise. Good luck.dl
1 person likes this
@petiksmode (2983)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
i am the boss of my household..well i am living alone that is why...lols...
i am independent away from my family for over a year now i just get to see them once a week on sundays..
so i call the rules in my house and whoever will stay with me like any of my siblings they need to follow my rules..
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I have to admit that sometimes I miss those bachelorette days. You have the right idea and attitude about setting up rules that they follow or hit the door. The worse thing I ever did was let people live with me and try to be equal. It doesnt work. People tend to do things differently. This tends to make a big mess. If people come and stay with you and begin knowing the fact that you are the queen of your castle and no one else, there's a better chance of saving relationships between you and your roomy. Good luck and enjoy your solitude. Its a wonderful thing. dl
@coolcat123 (4387)
• India
29 Jul 08
My mother ha sthe final say,she is our guardian and every thing.What ever she says happens and is declared the red line and order for us , and we too obey her commandsas a true student of hers.
@Elixiress (3878)
•
28 Jul 08
I think that my Mam has the most say in our house, my Dad has very little say other than on things that he pays for. My sister also has very little say as she is only 12 years old. I do have a certain degree of say on things that concern me, such as what I eat, what phone contract I have and things like that.
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Everyone in my house, of course, have their say in almost all situations but the final decision rests on me... Obviously, my girl friend & I don't include my daughter into an adult conversation or adult dicision process but for others, even my daughter has saying in it... My daughter, being that she's only 8, tells me everything even when she does something wrong... I'm sure when she grows up, there will be plenty of things that she won't... Obviously, me not being able to be in 2 places at the sametime, when I'm at work or when I'm not with my daughter, my girl friend makes decisions for my daughter & I trust her with it... My girl friend knows what my guide lines are as far as my daughter is concerned & she respects that... If she comes across a situation that she's not sure, she'll call me before making a decision... I do consider my girl friend as my daughter's mother & my daughter respects & considers her as such... My daughter will listen to both of us without too much of problems, of course at times with plenty of whinning & wimpering but she's only 8 after all, lol...
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
28 Jul 08
You are very lucky. I am in a similar situation and my daughter trys to run me and my fiance does as well. They both pull me in different directions. I, too, have a daughter that is a blessing. She tells me things that I dont even want to know. I hope we both have the pleasure of keeping things this way until they're married. lol dl
@jillbeth (2705)
• United States
22 Jul 08
The adults are the bosses in my house, and I'm helping to raise three grandkids (mom lives here, too) who think they should run the place. They have learned that when grandma says no, the answer is no, and if I tell them to do something, it had better be done. Their mom tends to argue and negotiate with them, but I think that approach to parenting is bull hockey. I didn't raise her that way, so I don't why she does it except that she is a mild-mannered person and tries to avoid conflict. When she is home I try to let her handle the discipline but sometimes I have to step in a remind the grandkids that I expect them to mind their mother! The youngest daughter, age 5, has absolutely no patience at all and is very demanding with mom, but she doesn't behave that way with me. I'll tell her she has to wait and she'll go off and pout but with mom it becomes a whine fest. Drives me nuts! I've popped her bottom a few times for that. I should probably spank mom too for letting her get away with it!
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
22 Jul 08
You are sooooo right madam. I do not under any circumstance allow anyone especially one of my children or any one else's for that matter, tell me anything in my house. I think you hit the nail on the head when you suggested spanking the parent. I cant count the number of times I have been at a store and witnessed the whole tantrum act. I feel like snatching the child up and then the parent. I am happy to know that I am not the only one who doesnt oppose a pop on the bottom every once in a while. Thanks for responding. dl.
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
22 Jul 08
Well the boss in the house is my husband when it comes to big decisions like purchasing something or whatever that involves big amount of money but he shared it to me of what he is going to do. Well, when it comes to the kitchen and managing the house I also have the say. I think it is a partnership thing. Both should act the right decision for the benefit of the household. Of when we have visitors, my husband would tell me. This what I don't like to happen when there is visitor, well I agree because I can see it is also good. Well, then in short, my husband has the major decision and I have the minor ones. Both of us would try to see what is good in our house.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Thanks for sharing the way things work in your house. Its good to see that you still believe that marriage is a partnership. I dont seem to do that well. I take care of my family on a daily basis. If my family was threatened or hurt in any way, My husband doesnt put up with that. He protects us no matter what. That's why we get along so great he indulges my need to be the caregiver and accepts his role as our protector with pride. I see so many men these days getting caught up in be the King of their castles. I have been there before in other relationships. I can smell a control freak a mile away. YOu demonstrate a healthy relationship from another point of view. Im glad to know there are people out there in healthy relationships. Not everything is meant to be black or white. Sometimes the grey area is the best answer. thanks dl
@mccaw8 (22)
• South Africa
22 Jul 08
Anyone who makes the most sense has the last word at my house...which in most cases is dad...the reason why so many kids have their say in their family is because of the new world we live in.Respect has been forgoten,no one wants to follow rules nowadays...most people have their own rules irrespective of how it makes them,their family and their culture look...i was chat to a friend yesterday that i met on mylot,we were talking about how too much freedom can ruin a person especially if they cant use it wisely....and as for weird friends...lol...ive got alot and they are all weirdly unique.Great post
