I've Been MIA
By CatsandDogs
@CatsandDogs (13963)
United States
July 22, 2008 7:48pm CST
because of depression. I've been so depressed lately that all I want to do is sleep. Nothing seems to interest me so I either sleep or stare off in space lost in thought. It's just that everything has come to a head and I've basically lost myself along the way. I did have a bunch of discussions saved so I could answer them later on and some how they all disappeared!! I tried to find them but they're gone so to hell with it, I don't have the energy to keep looking for them so that's why I haven't answered them yet because I've some how lost them. Such is life. Dang, when will it get better? I keep on wondering. I saw a doctor yesterday and he put me on lexapro for anxiety. Today was my first day on the medicine which I take a half a pill for a week then I take a full one after that. I hope it helps because this load that I'm carrying is so heavy now, more so now than ever because mom is getting depressed and a wee bit snippy. UGH. I feel so up tight and yet so tired all at the same time and I cry at the drop of a hat. That's not like me at all. In fact, it's very hard for me to cry and now it's so easy but I won't let myself cry if I can help it because it solves nothing except giving me a headache. Sure it releases the stress but I have more when I have a headache. It's like going in circles with no ending. Please bear with me, I'll be back again sooner or later but for now, it's kind of here and there kind of thing. I haven't forgotten any of you dear friends so please don't forget me!! LOL Hugs to all of you!
10 people like this
26 responses
@rbailey83 (1428)
• Canada
23 Jul 08
i understand how you feel, my meds stopped working about a month ago and i have been going steadily downhill since. I have to force myself to get out of bed and do something, but even that doesn't last more than an hour, appetite is almost non existant, and i just want to curl up under a rock and dissapear from society forever. Hard to go through, but try to stay positive
4 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I'm trying my hardest to keep going but dang it's hard! The past three months have been mostly hell for my family. I know it could be worse and almost was but it's just gotten to me the past few days and I'm at the bottom of the bucket trying to climb back out.
2 people like this
@rbailey83 (1428)
• Canada
23 Jul 08
it's tought, and hard for others to understand. I spent just over a year and a half in the hospital because i was a threat to myself.
sometimes it's hard to get out of, but it is possible, believe in yourself, try to stay positive, and communicate as best as you can with your doctors
3 people like this
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Hi Cats....there was a time when I felt as you do now...I was very depressed and spent alot of time in my bedroom sleeping...I ended up on prozac....
I found that I wasn't doing anything for myself...Everyone else was getting what they wanted or needed and I was drained of giving all the time....
I finally decided that I had to find time for myself or I was going to go looney...I made sure that everyday I did something for me...It didn't matter what it was, just that it was for me and only me......
It helped me to do this...and I continue to do it everyday....
I am sad to hear of your depression...just know that you are not alone in this...It affects us all differently...
I hope the meds that you are on will help you reduce the depression and anxiety that you feel...
Please take care of yourself...you are very important....and don't worry about anyone but you....hugs
4 people like this
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Oh, my goodness.....You surely have been dealt a handful...That is way more than you should have to deal with....I am so very sorry for all that you have been through....
I sure can understand why your are feeling the way you are.....and you have every right to feel this way...
You are in my prayers....Please take care of yourself and hopefully in time this will all pass...
Just when I think I am having a bad day, I am going to come back here and read your response to mine...no one should have to go through all of what you're going thru....
Hugs to you.....
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I have missed you, I was wondering how things were going. I am sorry to hear that it is getting you so down. I think that you need the rest. Keep in touch and know that we are here for you.
4 people like this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
23 Jul 08
I hae had period like that and so has my husband. I've been on antidepressents before, and this year I was deermined to do it without them, and I did!! Yeah me!! Hey, if the pills help, take 'em!! I'm glad you're getting help for this.
I know how it is to have a heavy load. I hope things work out for the best or you. I you ever need to talk, just get on here and tell us what you wan.
4 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Thanks danishcanadian.... I appreciate that. Oh I'm taking the meds for I have to or I'll go nuts in the REAL sense for it's been building and building during the three months, so far, and it's come to a head where I can't take it anymore. I'm withdrawing from everyone including my hubby and I don't want to do that. Mom has no idea how much of a load she's become and it's only because of her stubborn and hard headedness. ARG!!
2 people like this
@bournecaindelta (2477)
• India
23 Jul 08
Procrastination is bad you know. You had saved some discussions to respond , but you could have responded to them then and finished with them. If you weren't in a state to respond to them at that instant of time, I think you shouldn't really fell very angry.
Do not worry about life, It's not always bad and it sure brings good news sometime later, but you gotta have your composure to face the good times as well. And too much of pills is too bad you know. Maybe you should look to natural ways to control anxiety like meditation and Yoga. And yes, as you mentioned you could always sleep away your worries.
bourne
3 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Amen c&d. So what was ever done about the cat anyhow? I can't recall anything more other than one discussion when it happened.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jul 08
bournecaindelta please forgive me for snapping at you! I'm truly sorry. It's one of my worst times as you can see and it doesn't take much to set me off however, I should'nt have with you and for that I'm really sorry. BTW, I still rated you a positive though. I do agree with you about the meds but right now it's either take it or lose it and I'd much rather take it so I can "keep" it together. Did that make any sense? lol
Grandpa Bob my cat is doing pretty good considering the brain damage he sustained. For a while at first he couldn't walk then he was able to stand but would fall over and finally got the hang of it but he tires easily. He can't shake his head like cats do but he'll shake it to the right one time and that's it. He's become an indoor cat for the most part but he misses the outdoors something awful in which hubby and I take him out on a leash and let him lay to enjoy the fresh air. He can jump too but not as well as he could before. All in all though, he's doing pretty darn good considering. He's alive and very clingy to me now. He wants to be with me all the time which is just fine with me! lol
3 people like this
@bournecaindelta (2477)
• India
23 Jul 08
OMG. Then I' sorry I misunderstood your words there. Those are some really stressful situations to live in. But You could use the methods Isuggested rather than medicines to get around the problems. For all I know, medicines are good only to some extent, taken in excess, can cause problems which are not really required for a human being.
bourne
4 people like this
@1richgirl (126)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I had these very symptoms years ago- My doctor initially put me on paxal but then tested my thyroid- I was low and have ever since taken Levoxyl for that, No other problems --mayv\be you can check it out- good luck
4 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Yes I do have a thyroid problem but it's not the cause of my depression. Look at the response above yours and you'll see why in greater detail. It's too much to have to retype again and again. Thanks for the advice though!!
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Ahhhh Sweety, you have every right to feel the way you do. In fact I am surprised you have been doing as good as you have. I would have been a basket case in LaLa land by now. Don't worry about any of us, we will be here for you when you get here. Take as much time as you need, there are lots of us that aren't going anywhere. I wish I knew some magic words for you. You have had way more then your share of crap to deal with. I have been following what has been going on with you, I am flabbergasted on how you are dealing with it all. It just has been to much, I am surprised you didn't shut down before now. Just be careful that you don't let yourself go too much, you don't want to have to crawl your way out. What you are feeling is normal, You have been dealing with a tremendous amount of stress. Take care, I do hope you get to feeling better real soon.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Hi Polly.... Thanks for being so understanding. I have basically let myself go for so long that I am trying to get myself back again but I guess I've let it get me too far and that's why I've had to let something go for a few days till I could get myself back on track once again. It's been a hard road but I'm still trying. If only my mom wasn't so dang independent and determined, she wouldn't be where she is right now but she made the choice, I didn't and now she has to pay for that choice. I won't let her bring me down this time around because she did this to herself this time by being so darned stubborn.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 08
Sweet I am sorry it got this way but I guessed it would with what you have been through
Do not worry about here and I will never forget about you I am not here much myself at the moment but you are in my thoughts
Love and a big Hug to you
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Ohh geeze! I no longer interest you? Wahhh Wahhh! Just joking. I never worry about older emails about discussons. I delete them if I am not doing any mylotting as I get so many each day. If I saved emails for the days I am idle here I'd have thousands saved and I will not do that. I also carry a heavy load. But I think mine is easier to handle as I have been in the A.A. Program for over 17 years and have learned how to handle stress and things it brings up. I seldom get depressed. I get down in the dumps then call an A.A friend to talk about it. It is good to see you here. I have gotten the other mug otrdered through PayPal payment but don't have enough there right now. But payday I will so in a month or so you'll have the 2 mugs for sure. Maybe those will cheer you up. Take care and it is great to see ya again friend.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
23 Jul 08
$200 is the cost. 
Now are you willing to pay? 
Or take them as a gift? We can figure the cost out later if I decide their is a cost. For now you don't have them so don't worry about it. Hee hee hee! 
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
Now are you willing to pay? Or take them as a gift? We can figure the cost out later if I decide their is a cost. For now you don't have them so don't worry about it. Hee hee hee!
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jul 08
LOL Silly you grandpa Bob!! I could never ever get bored of you!! Silly wabbit, tricks are for kids!! LOL Gotta love it!!
I did have three pages full of discussions but some how I lost them all. Like I said, such is life. and shall I add, life will go on! lol
How much is the other mug? Let me pay you for it!
3 people like this
@finlander60 (1804)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I think you have summed up your situation rather well. My doormat is always out there for friends who have to come and go. I know that my friends are that way for me as well. Dear Cats and Dogs, we will not forget you.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Thank you!! You're so very kind!! I'll find my way some how some way but it's going to take some down time before I can find that light at the end of this long long tunnel but I'll find it when it shows itself again. Thanks again my friend!
2 people like this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I know just how you feel. I went into that downward spiral some months back. I went into my doctors office and started crying my eyes out. I told him I needed some help. That I was severely depressed and I know that no one can stand me because I can't stand myself. I was so touchy and a total b-wah to people. I tried not to be but everything upset me. I was grouchy and I cried a lot. I even told my daughter I didn't want the grandbabies around because of the way I was being. I didn't want to constantly be getting onto them.
I got much better when I got put on mothers little helpers. A pill for anxiety and depression. It helped me a lot and I'm back to my old self.
Most people go through these times or days. Don't worry about any of us. Just get yourself some help. I also started doing things to help me feel better. By doing what I want to do or getting what I need. And doing things for me, not just everyone else. I take time for me as I didn't ever do before.
Best wishes to you dear.
2 people like this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
I was a depressive and it was kind of romantic when I was younger but later it became such a burden. Like you, I was best friends with sleep. When I learned that depression was a disease I tried my best to get rid of it. I am now giddy as a giggling schoolgirl, life is now great. No pills. I hope you get out of that hole.
I wrote a song once about how I was:
Schizophrenia
Paranoia
On my mind
Feels so fine
I've evaded you so long
Catatonia
In the morning
When you wake up
You'll find me alone
I'll be dreaming
Of your sweet embrace...
2 people like this
@Xdrowninghavocx (3117)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I'm there too. The depression has switched my hours of the day. I sleep all day and I'm busily working on things into the next morning. And then everything repeats again. Man, I hate my life. However, it's not something that I like to complain about. I just feel lost. I'm seriously thinking about going on meds again, even though they didn't work in the first place. But I want that weird zombie feeling back. Only because it would be nice to feel something again. And on top of that my migraines keep me from enjoying life. Anyway, I hope that your feelings improve and I wish you the best. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.
3 people like this
@super_jj (1416)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
Ey, hold on.
Dont lose hope. It could help if you have someone you could talk to so as to keep you from drifting into depression. I'm a psychologist (i graduated 4 years ago) and i've learned that therapy is the best medicine. although i havent worked as a psychologist for more than a year now (i'm a copyeditor for a certain publishing company).
Find someone you are comfortable to talk with. You really dont have to pay someone to listen to you.
8)
@GardenGerty (161157)
• United States
23 Jul 08
You will be feeling better, it will come. The long hard run you are on will end. It is just so hard sometimes. Do not worry about old discussions. I bet this upgrade hit you real hard as far as making you disoriented. No wonder they went missing. Come back when you can. I do not know anyone who keeps tallies of whether or not you have answered. Come around when you can, when you feel like it. Do some things for you.
2 people like this
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I also take Lexapro for severe depression and anxiety. It will take about three - four days for it to really get into your system so be patient with it. It does help me to keep my emotions and reactions more level. I am not flying from one extreme to another all the time.
At one point, the doctor wanted to try to take me off of the med because he thought I might be ready. I had done everything he had prescribed and I had worked with my counselor. I thought I was ready.
I went off the med. About four days later, I was climbing the walls and I could bite anyone's head off. I was soooooooooo angry. I don't know why I was angry. I just simply felt extremely angry. I could not sit still. I was very antsy. I had other problems happening also. The doctor immediately put me back on the Lexapro. A couple of days later, I was leveled out and fine again. Doc said it will be a long while before we try that again. He wrote my prescription for one year.
Even when you don't think the meds are working, TAKE THEM!!! Do not go off this med without your doctor's supervision.
Royal Mom
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Depression and anxiety is not a pleasant state.
I've been there before.
Maybe it's the brain's way of making us take a step
back to assess the current situation. Maybe by not allowing
us to engage in any new events it helps us get the time
we need to work out the current issues ino our lives
before aquiring new experiences.
You've had some pretty serious things happen in your life
recently. So it's only normal that your body and mind
would need some breathing room and some time off.
Maybe a vacation is what you need.
Best wishes on feeling better.
Sorry I haven't been to any of your new discussions lately.
It's a hit and miss thing with my hands.
Some days I feel the pain and some days I don't.
I'll try to put you on my regular round of people to visit weekly.
Have a beautiful day.
And get some rest!
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (182761)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I felt like that alot in the past year. Actually, alot since I moved to this area. I am feeling better now thank god. it seems like depression has to run it's course alot of times. Give your meds a chance to work and stay engaged as much as possible. That's probably the best thing you can do under the circumstances.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Jul 08
And who are you again? - ok, you can hit me now! ROFL
Oh Cats, I understand completely, believe me. I don't know how you've managed to hold up over the last few months.
So take some time, get some rest, remember how much you are loved, and no more depression! I won't stand for it, you hear me?
Hugs and more hugs and all the love in my heart go out to you dear friend. See you soon.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Oh my goodness, It's not that bad. It will get better. Everyone
gets depressed now and then. Have you been diagnosed with
depression or is it just a temporary thing? I have clinical
depression, which isn't temporary and will not go away. It
is caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain. I have been
given the proper medication and now am feeling alot better.
I walked around feeling miserable for alot of years until
I finally got diagnosed and properly medicated. If the Lexapro
doesn't help think about seeing a therapist and getting
antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication. Don't feel ashamed.
There are millions of people who suffer from depression. My
doctor explained it to me. I have crossed wires in by brain.
Sounds silly but he has really helped me when no one else
could.
2 people like this
