The death of a friend

Hi amanda08 I am so sorry to hear of your loss it really is tragic. My nephew passed away with when he was 3 and a half and that broke my brother's heart along with the rest of the family. I don't think he has ever got over it. I honestly think that all you can do is be there for her, giving her a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear when she needs it. Just be around a lot and keep her mind busy. Good luck it's a tricky one

I have been so lucky in my life that I have not had to deal with this situation and so do not know what to suggest for the best. I should think if would vary with the people involved but just to be around and help. I have just raised my two children to adulthood but the worry and responsibility do not end. They and their friends have just learned to drive. At the moment they are both abroad on holiday although separately. I try to think there is no reason why anything should happen to them but still worry until they are home again and under my feet. Your message is so sad that I just wanted to offer my condolences.

sorry for your loss

Hi amanda, I am sorry for this tragic loss, it it sad at any time, but especially when one is so young. I have experienced similar things in my life and have found that the best way to help is to be there for the one left behind. Doing things such as mowing the lawn is fine, but since you were good friends let her know that the friendship is still there and you will do anything you can. Call and visit often, in other words let her know she is not alone. You don't have to say or do a lot just being there is what matters. Blessings.

I have few friends passed away when they were young, they were still studying when they passed away. But they still do not have family that time. I think if you want to help your friend's widow, you can introduce a job for her, that's the most important for the widow to survive. If the friend had kids, a job is very very very important for the mother to have stable income. This is my opinion.

Just be there for her because she will probably not function well at this horrible time.Do not try and take all the responsibilty upon your self because it is impossible to run two households. However you can organize groups of friends to cook, clean, mow the lawn, etc. for the first several months until your friend can go about her daily tasks.

I know what that is like. I lost my brother almost two years ago, and you never get over it, you just learn how to incorporate it into your life.

Mowing the lawn and stuff like that is great but the most important thing you can do is just be a friend and be there when she needs to talk. What you don't want to do is over do so that she becomes dependant on you and well that makes it hard for them to get on their feet and move on. In other words don't cripple them. Love them as a friend should and be there with your love and support but know when to step back as well.

That is very sad. I am glad that she has support help round her. She will need the strength of all of her friends. Here are some steps that will help you help her through this very hard time. Things You’ll Need: Kleenex An understanding, compassionate heart A sense of empathy Pleanty of hugs to give away Step1 If you have a friend or family member who has reciently lost a loved one, they are probably going through an emotional roller coaster. Some people like to be around others while others want to be left alone. Regardless of which one your friend is, approach them either in person or by a phone call and tell them how sorry you are that they are sad and going through this. Step2 Once you have told them how badly you feel that they are in pain, let your friend know that you are there for him/her if and when he/she ever needs to talk. Step3 LISTEN!!! At this point, your friend might open up to you and express how he/she is feeling or dealing with the loss. This might involve the person crying. If that happens, pat him/her on the back, or offer a hug. The friend might choose that they would rather not talk about their feelings at this time. If he/she expresses that, respect their wishes! Give him/her some space and either bring up another subject. You have done the best you can do, by letting the other person know that you are there for them.

wow, so sorry to hear about your loss. i guess my advice to you (besides what you are doing) is just be there to listen. that will help and make sure she takes care of herself (why not make some of her favourite foods?) those are the most important time. if they have kids, taking the kids off her hands would be great too!

Wow. That is horrible and I am sorry that has happened. Most deaths are unexpected and unexplainable. Even though it is a part of life, it is always difficult to accept when it happens. I think spending time with her is the best thing to do. She needs people around her in these times. Maybe playing some games or just taking her out the house to see a movie, etc. I think just sitting home will cause her to dwell on what has happened and make her even more depressed. I think being active will help a little. Hope this helps. =/

Hello again amanda08 I also forgot to say that you also need to grieve too, don't forget about yourself, he was also your friend. I really do wish you and every one concerned all the best and a speedy recovery although we all know that things take time and we never forget but things do get easier even if it doesn't seem like it now. Take care

It's really sad to hear of young people losing their lives even before they started living it. His wife (widow) must really be very heartbroken right now. Perhapes what you guys could do is just to be for her. She would really need all the support that she can get right now. Different people handle grief differently, depending on their charactors and strength. What sort of personality does your friend belong to? I remember my mum acting the same way after my dad passed away. It's just her way of denying what has happened as reality, and all good intentions to help were rejected as she cannot stand people 'pitying' her. So it all boils down to personality too. If your friend is the affectionate sort, you can try giving her hugs and listen to her share her feelings with you guys. Try to really listen, and empathise (as opposed to sympatise), and most importantly Dont interrupt! Usually grief-striken people share their sorrows and sadness with others not to get solutions as to how they can solve their problems, but rather, to share their burden with others. If your friend is the shy type (introverts), it would be best if you could just leave her alone as I believed that they would need their space and would not be all that ready to be reaching out to people that soon. But let her know that you are always there if ever she needs you to be there. Follow-up daily with a phone call or email just to show that you really do care! The main point is just to act as if everything is normal, the worst thing is when one offers their condolences and act all awkward around them as this really comes across as pity. I remember the worst thing that I ever heard from friends and relatives when my dad passed away when I was 9 was that, don't worry be happy. Life still goes on. It's like hello? Do I look like an idiot. So, try to avoid things like that. As for helping with physical stuff rather than emotional stuff, perhapes what you could do is drop by once every two days or so to check in on her, and help out with small little stuff like buying her groceries, helping around the household chores. Bring her out and try to cheer her up! Hope that these suggestions would help. Take care and may god bless her and the soul of her husband.

Wow. I am so sorry to hear this. You all are in my prayers. Does your friend have children? I would think the greatest thing you could do is be there for what ever she needs. Make dinner for her, be there for her to cry on your shoulder, and not be offended if at some point she needs alone time. This has to be one of the greatest things she will ever go through. I don't know how I would survive if I was in here shoes but luckily she has wonderful friends like you willing to help her through this. You truly are an angel.

That is so sad to hear that a good friend was lost in a car accident. It will be terribly bad for her wife. She is such too young to be widowed but that's life its really hard to comprehend why these things happen but it does happen. I guess what you can really do with the wife is to give you're all out support for her that she may not feel alone at this point in time. I am sure it is very hard for her to really accept things but in time she will. You friends just needs to be there for her at this time of her life.

if i live next to this girl i will give her some help. but do not misunderstand.that is tragic. as the result what i said just what i thought. jesus bless her