I'm going to go live in a tent....
By foxyfire33
@foxyfire33 (10005)
United States
July 23, 2008 10:37pm CST
S/o told me to pack our stuff tonight and we'd leave to go live in a tent first thing in the morning when he gets home from work. I told him it was just fine with me at this point. I don't think he was serious but he knows I am.
I had major issues with FIL tonight...that will probably be another discussion so watch for it. The issue itself wasn't the worst thing in the world but the principle of it and all the other BS I have to deal with just went beyond anything I'm willing to put up with (and my friends here often remind me I already put up with more than I should!). So when it was obvious what I was saying was making no difference and FIL was still going to go against me behind my back and undermine me...I called s/o at work. I told him I wasn't putting up with it any longer and that he'd better do something about it. That's when he told me to pack up and we'd go live in his tent. And I told him if he was even remotely serious I would do it,he said ok....we'll see how he really feels in the morning.
So...mylotters...would you ever consider giving up all the comforts of home? Do you think sometimes we have to walk away to make things better? Have you ever lived in a "non traditional home", like a car or an RV or a tent?
11 people like this
24 responses
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
24 Jul 08
My son and I lived with my father for awhile a few years ago. I finally got fed up with the crap one night. He put his hands on my throat. That was the last straw. I grabbed some stuff and took my son and went and stayed in a hotel for the night. I decided to get as far away from him as possible and went back to the house while he was at work, filled up a u-haul and moved to a different state. So, yeah I have been willing to go to drastic lengths to stop putting up with crap.
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Wow! That must have been really difficult! It's a good thing you did it though, who knows how much worse it could have gotten had you stayed.
I know a different state is out of the question but something drastic definitely needs to be done.
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I think you should try to hold him to it. He needs to see that his dad can't continue to treat you like a second class citizen. Also, I think it would be really good for FIL to see that you aren't going to put up with it either. You deserve to have your opinions and boundaries respected.
My only question would be, where are you going to pitch your tent?
I don't know if I could give up my creature comforts. My tv, and computer and a hot shower.
1 person likes this
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Happy Birthday Miss Foxy! Don't light too many candles and burn down your tent before you even move in! 
I think you relly should do something to prove to FIL that you won't take it from him and he will lose his grandchildren if he continues to act like a donkey's behind.
I think you relly should do something to prove to FIL that you won't take it from him and he will lose his grandchildren if he continues to act like a donkey's behind.@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Jul 08
During the conversation he said he'd find a campsite in a campground. It's funny, I had intended to put my foot down in a lot of ways starting on my birthday. I figured it was the beginning of my last year in my 20's and I want to be the person I want to be by 30. Well it's my birthday now...it started 8 minutes ago as I type this. So here I am...I h ave been planning this big change for months now and the date is here and this "opportunity" presents itself....
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I've told s/o many times that if we leave because of his father that he will not see our boys again unless he agrees to my rules.
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
24 Jul 08
If I was in your situation and I had a tent or RV (not going there with a car cause I wouldn't consider it) to move into I would be there in a new york minute. You are putting up with too much BS and it is not good for you and the kids to be around 24/7. Although an RV would be so much better than a tent lol. An RV can be a real nice home temporarily till you could find a different solution. But yeah I would get out.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I did not answer really about have I or would I live in a tent or RV. I would live in an RV. I have been ready to live in my car on the beach with my cat when hubby was stationed away, and I was trying to pack us up for the Navy to move us home, cause he was being discharged. The one family I lived with made me crazy, and then so did the lady I moved in with. Hubby had not wanted me to drive home cross country alone, but we thought we would save some money by giving up our apartment.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
24 Jul 08
i don't know about a tent, but i would live in a rv or trailer if i had too. i have three children and the thought of being homeless just doesn't sit well with me. would i put up with crap just to have home, i don't know. i guess it depends on the crap, but living in the woods in a tent, doesn't sound like something i would want to do
@zeloguy (4911)
• United States
24 Jul 08
[i]When I was younger I didn't know what to do with my life and I was about to enter the peace corps before I finally decided to go off to college. Helping people is something that really excites me and it was a time in my life when I was able to do things like that.
I am definately not the camping, outdoosy type of person to the extent of doing it for fun... but would I do it... I could do it let's put it that way.[/i]
Thanks
Zelo
Zelo
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Seriously?! You always stuck me as a very outdoorsy kind of guy! huh...wonder wy I got that impression? My s/o is not a camping kind of guy either, he will never last. Me, the tent part doesn't thrill me but I could do well in a basic little camper.
1 person likes this
@sugarplum9084 (1771)
• United States
24 Jul 08
My aunt had to live in a tent for a while. She had two children at the time and a low paying job, so in the morning she would get the kids ready for school and then go to work, and you would have never known that they lived in a tent. We don't live near her, or we would have had her live with us. That was a rough patch in her life, but now, a few years down the road, she is the manager of a very successful law firm and makes unimaginable sums of money haha. It's crazy how if you are determined, you can have nothing and turn it into something! I hope things get better, and who knows, in a few years you will laugh at all of this.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Jul 08
That is an incredible story! Thank you so much for sharing it. I do hope that in a few years we can look back and see how much progress we've made.
@Stiletto (4579)
•
25 Jul 08
Hey I'm living in a caravan right now!! I've only been here just over a month and I've only rented it until the end of September, but I have to say I'm enjoying it. I didn't think I would like it much but it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I don't know if I could handle a tent though. But I've read some of your other discussions about your situation and I just think anything else has to be better than where you are now, not just for you but for your kids. What about looking at how much caravans cost to rent? Really they're ok to live in. Of course I don't have young children to consider but I know other people who have and live in caravans and it's fine.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Hi foxy,
If that will be the last resort, why not! But, I will try to talk first to anyone in the house who made me feel that way, after an open-forum if still, I can see no light, I will better stay away with my Family!
I have not tried really living in a car or a tent...My husband and I are living in our own house and I don't often see my in-laws..Only if we will visit them or they will visit us which is very rare! Only special occasion!
1 person likes this
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
26 Jul 08
No, I can't say that I have had to live in a non traditional home. I've always had a roof over my head and am thankful for that.
I've read many of your discussions concerning this situation that you are currently living. I would hope that I would never be in this type of situation and if I were, for a very short time.
I don't think I would stop short of living in a tent if that made the overall living situation better.
I know I have missed some of your discussions regarding this topic but from what I've read it appears that your FIL and MIL don't want you there any more than you want to be there.
I think what I have missed is the reason that you are still there and haven't gotten a place of your own.
Best wishes in your living situation.
@guss2000 (2232)
• United States
25 Jul 08
This is hard to admit, but when I was about 6 or 7 we were forced to live in a tent. My mom, myself and my brother (he would have been a baby then) all lived in my aunt's backyard in a tent, for a good while. we would come inside to eat and bathe, but we mostly slept in the tent. My mom had serious domestic violence with what was then her husband, and she thought it was best that we get away. Bascially, we hid at my aunts but there wasn't enough sleeping arrangments for us all.
It really was awful, and that was 22-23 years ago, and I mostly block it out, but there are times that I remember how bad it was.
I hope that instead of getting a tent, that you can find shelter. If this is a temporarary solution, that might be okay because its summer time and your kids might actually think it is fun.
Your inlaws sound really horrible and I do hope that you can get away from them, but I hope you don't have to live in a tent forever.
@moneyandgc (3428)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I have never lived in a car, RV or tent before. The most non-traditional place would be a hotel. After the hurricane we had to move from Mississippi to New Jersey. Our few remaining belongings were being shipped so we had nothing really. We staying in a hotel then until we could move on base. We also basically live in hotels when my husband has to work out of state. But, hotels have all the comforts of home plus some so I never complain.
I know plenty of people that lived in RV's after the storm. They hated it. Their situations were entirely different of course.
I hope whatever you and your s/o decide that it works out for the best!
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Hotel! That was the other one I forgot to list! Yes, that situation would be entirely different. I don't think I would like it much if it was forced on me like that.
@cbreeze (1205)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I haven't. But I've considered it. At the time I was pregnant and had 5 underage children, so I felt that I couldn't subject them to that. I stuck it out until I was able to get securely on my feet. I'm sure I came close to losing my mind. If I had a husband or if my children's father and I were together at that time and he would go with me, I would have done it in a heartbeat. I just felt being pregnant with young children left me and more importantly them too vulnerable to preditors.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I have not been friends with you long enough to even know why you are living with those people anyway. It is just too crazy.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I probably would or talk to other family members and friends to see if they can help you out with renting a one bedroom for now. I think living anywhere is better than where you are right now. That's just what I see from the outside.
I haven't lived in an RV, tent or car but have lived in a run down two storey house full of cockroaches and ants, spiders, centipedes and things falling apart. I did what I could to keep it clean everyday, patched up what we could afford to patch up and made it a home for almost a year until we were able to afford to rent a two bedroom house. It wasn't pleasant but I made it comfortable and clean and we were happy.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
24 Jul 08
Well to be honest with you, after following your discussions for the past day or two I would have already been camping in that tent! I really do not know how you are putting up with it all, it sounds like an absolute nightmare. Sometimes yes, I do think walking away makes things better, I have done it once or twice myself when things got tough and I always came out of it alright!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Jul 08
foxyfire yes like you in your situation I would consider any alternative rather thatn live with a father in law you hate and probably returns the compliment. we on the other hand through a bunch of bad luck and other complications landed homeless for three months and lived in our car, but a friend helped us out and got our furniture out of storage and got us into an apartment. living in your car is horrible.I am glad we had friends who cared and that we got back on top with jobs and a home again.
@stagewhisper (901)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I've heard that if you can handle it, living in your car is a good way to save up money. A good friend of mine told me about how he lived in his car for six months. He was working part-time at a gym, so he had access to free showers and towels, and I think he was working the rest of the time at a restaurant so he could get discounts on food as well. When he got tired of it, he had plenty saved up so he could go back to school. 
@meggan79 (436)
• United States
25 Jul 08
When my family moved from Germany to the US we had about a month before we actually could move into government housing. So we lived on the ocean for about a month in tents. It felt more like an extended vacation then "living there". I think as long as you have shelter, food and clothes on your back your good. Living in a "non traditional home" for awhile will just make you appreciate living in the traditional home that much more. Just make sure you have internet connection so we can still talk to you.
