Trying to do something with my life
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
United States
July 25, 2008 2:41pm CST
So I left my bf/baby's father after 4 yrs of us being together and it was a really bad relationship anyways I had nothing for myself and he wouldn't let me achieve anything in my life. Now that we have split up I am thinking about going into the Air National Guard. It will just be part time duty once a month on the weekend. I will get my schooling paid for if I went to college and I would get $200 for that one weekend. But I am not really sure if it is what I want to do. I was supposed to swear in last week but my recruiter told me she has personal business to take care of and she would be back in office this week on Tues. So I called her Tuesday and her voice mail said she would be back the 24th so i called her yesterday and now its saying on the 29th so I don't know if this is a sign from God for me to think about what I am really doing or him saying for me not to go. I'm not sure what I am supposed to do. SO I guess my point I am getting to is....Should I go ahead and join the military and risk being shipped off to Afghanistan or Iraq or just stay here with my son and find me a job and get into college and get my life together that way? I mean I know it is all up to me and it's my life but I just need some advice.
5 people like this
17 responses
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
25 Jul 08
If you are going into the National Guard there is a chance of getting deployed. Maybe you should check into getting a grant to college, and work on that and a job and taking care of your son. If you are that undecided, I think it's best that you put it off. Recruiters are going to say and tell you a lot of 'good' reasons to join, what they don't tell you is the truth of the matter, it's military and although they normally pull state-side duty, in times such as these there have been plenty that have deployed right along with the full time military.
1 person likes this
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Thank you for your comment on my situation. I think thats what I am going to do is stay put and get my life together in another way other then the military. I really didn't want to leave my son anyways and was terrified of being deployed that why I was going to go National Guard and stay at home. They told me that if I was in school and/or working a part time job they wouldn't deploy me since I had a kid here also.
1 person likes this
@Kellyann627 (342)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Well, first of all you are very brave to consider joining the military. The only draw back is that you'll be away from your son and you could be sent overseas. It will alot with college. They also do have other programs besides the military that can help with college like student loans, grants, financial aid. It's a very big discision and wish you the best of luck. My uncle Mike is overseas and it's very hard for him to be away from his children.
Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Thanks for you response. I appreciate your advice. I had finacial aid last year when I went to school for EMT. But I didn't pass it . My ex wouldn't give me a break from my son long enough for me to study so I had to study and deal with a screaming kid, clean the house feed my son while my ex was just sitting there playing the PS2 and I just couldn't do it all. I failed by 2 points and I tried to sign up for the summer course and couldn't get in and I can't get in for this fall semester either so I take it as a sign not to do that either. But I don't know. Ill figure out Gods plan for me eventually.
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
26 Jul 08
If you are seriously asking me then all I can say is this, focus your mind on your kid and think of a job where you can be with him. The mind is a wonderful thing and if you use it well it will make things happen for you. Be positive, be with your son and enjoy him while he is still dependent on you, he will soon flex his wings and fly away. Don't fly away from him. Get a local job.
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thanks for you comment. Good advice. Better then what I am getting from my mom.
@Linda4ualways (2282)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Oh don't go...........it's a sign, can't you see it?
Whenever I hear of people signing up for the Armed Services I get worried
. Stay home with your son and get a job and go back to school. Don't risk being shipped off. This of course, is just my opinion aidensmommy. The choice is ultimately yours. Take care and God Bless!
Whenever I hear of people signing up for the Armed Services I get worried. Stay home with your son and get a job and go back to school. Don't risk being shipped off. This of course, is just my opinion aidensmommy. The choice is ultimately yours. Take care and God Bless! 1 person likes this
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Thank you for your response. I believed it was a sign to that maybe God didn't want me going. But I have seriously been thinking about just staying at home with my son this week since my recruiter has been out of town or whatever she is doing.
1 person likes this
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thanks for your comment. I have had time to think about it while my recruiter has been gone and I dont think I want to do it now. Atleast I made this decision before I got sworn in.
@latriciajones (846)
• United States
26 Jul 08
i would try and rethink everything. you have your son to think about. and with everything that is going on in Iraq i definitely would stay and just find something that i would know i would be happy doing.take your time it would come to you what you are supposed to do. whatever it is make sure it is what is best for you and your son.
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I think I am going to stay my mom wants me to go but I am going to stay with my son and make my life bymyself. it might be hard but everyone does it. Thanks for you comment have a great day.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Well, maybe you need to Pray about this, and get some thoughts from some close Family and friends what is best for you. I know they make it sometimes seem like a Good deal, but you need to think is it worth it? There are a lot of places I am sure that you can be hired at without any real experience. It just depends on what you are looking for as well. And if you are wanting $$ to go back to school, there are jobs out there that offer $$ for going back to school as well.
Whatever you decide to do, you need to be Happy. And since you have a son to take care of, you should worry about how to support him as well, and what is best for you both as well. Wishing you the best.
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thanks for the comment. I don't want to go now that I have thought about it but I need the money to get my life together. I am still all confused about what to do. I guess its all up to me to figure out what to do. I guess I need to pray like you said and hope that God will show me the way. Maybe I need to start going back to church again.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
26 Jul 08
i think i will choose to stay with my son and try to find a job while getting back to the college as well... at least i am close to my son and i believe that he can be my source of support and inspirations when i need them... rather than risk being shipped to a far away country and away from my son, i choose to rebuild my life close to him... this is only my opinion though... you might have different opinions from me... take care and have a nice day...
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thank you for your comment. I agree I am going to stay home and build my life with my son here instead of away.
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Here's another point that you may not have considered.
Some women who have joined the military and gone overseas
to either Iraq or Afghanistan have lost permanant legal custody
of their children
to the ex-spouse who still lived in the states.
It's a horror story that every mom fears.
I mean why should a woman lose her children cause
she is serving her country. You might think that you would
be immune since you were not married to your boyfriend, but
laws are changing that give a man lots of rights concerning
his children.
And the military is doing nothing to stand up and protect
these women, either!
If you have the option of staying in the states
and going to college, then why not? Go for it!
The loans and grants will be enough to pay for housing
off campus or on campus.
Usually college students that choose to live off campus
get extra money to pay for daily expenses.
It might be your best option.
Take a chance for yourself and your son's future.
Invest in your education.
Rarely do people get a chance to start over.
You have the option! Go for it!
Take this as a sign that you should not go into the military!
Many blessings for you and your child.
Be well!
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I am terrified of going over seas. I didn't know that about them taking custody from the woman who is overseas. That is not right. But I don't want to go into it. Now that I have actually sat and thought about it. I think all this advice I am getting on here I am going to take it and just stay here and go to college and get my life together here with my son and not risk anything. My mom has been telling me to do but I don't think I will follow her advice. I guess mothers have to be wrong sometimes right (even though we don't like to think that we are)
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I think thats what I am going to do. I need to get myself back into college and find me a job. It might be safer here then in Afghanistan or Iraq but I don't feel to safe in certain areas in my city.
@blackmantra_x (2732)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
good day.. yes I believe it is a sign. my opinion don't go. Stay with your child I know it's going to be hard to support yourself and your studies but it's safer for you.
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I agree I think I will stay here and learn to support myself on my own. Thats how alot of people do it so I need to also. Instead of depending on the govt to help me.
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thank you for your comment. After all the advice I am getting on here I think I will just stay here find a job and get a grant to go back to school. even though my mom is hounding me to go to the military but whatever. I need to stay home with my son and she don't see the risk she just sees $$$
@Kemboi (341)
• Eldoret, Kenya
26 Jul 08
Thank you for sharing your feelings, your attitude shows that you want to get employment, to sooth the emparasment you got from your fomer boy frient. To me I would advised you to consider the welfare of the child first, don`t risk doing anything done through rush discission. Could you if possible look for someone who can give you some solid and congreat ideas that will help you to take the next stape. Accually your sugestoins and plans are very important but first seek advice.
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thats why I am asking for advice on here. My mom says I need to go but al she see is $$$$. She don't see the risk or my fears of going. So I am not getting any advice form her on it. All my friends are telling me don't go, My dad told me if its not what I want to do then I need to go back into school. But my mom is telling me to go and not to listen to people I don't know.
@mands61123 (2098)
•
26 Jul 08
Firstly congratulations for getting yourself out of a bad relationship and keeping your self esteem in tact. I think the best advise i can give is for you to trust your instincts. I would write out the pros and cons for going or staying. What were the reasons you were atracted to that in the first place as they are likely to be things you will want out of your career. Is there something you've always wanted to do? or love to do? Look around at other colleges or if there are any ways you can work and train (placements sponsorships etc). Like you said there is really only you who knows whats right for you and your son, trust your instincts and i think you'll find your way. Wishing you every happiness
Good Luck
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thanks for the comment. I don't want to go to the military now. The only reason I was wanting to is because they would give me money for school and I would get a job through them and also i could get a part time job since like I said its only part time one weekend a month. My mom thinks I should go ahead and do it and my friends say its up to me and it my life. So I am still trying to figure everything out.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Jul 08
aidensmommy821 hi dont go as I see this as a sign that you should
stay in the states, get a job here and care for you son God
is warning you and I would heed the warning as you could
otherwise end up in Iraq and i am sure you do not want
that.get a job and get into college and be here for your
son.
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I now see that I really don't want to go. I don't want to be away from my son and don't want to get deployed. Thanks for your comment
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
lets put it this way.... is it worth it to go to afganistan than to stay there with your child? yes going to afganistan is for your country but you have a little one who depends his life on you. yes it is all up to you but you need to consider a child's life. i have a son too, my wife got a lot of miscarriages before we hit the jackpot. it is okay if you go but you will leave your son to his dad, but still a child that small needs a mother. welcome to the world of mylot aiden
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I think I am going to stay and get back into college and try to go for something I am more passionate about instead of something my friends were going to school for.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
25 Jul 08
It sounds like you don't really want to but you see it as an opportunity for you. Perhaps it is a sign. If it were me and I was a single parent I would not, because you do risk being shipped off. But it is your decision to make. If I was you I would look in to some scholarships to help you with your education, or start attending a community college, if all you can afford is one class a sememster than that is all you have to take. The community college I went to had all kinds of scolarships available that no body really knew about or took advantage of. I found out about them from my tennis coach, who was also my marketing teacher. It couldn't hurt to find out. Congratulations on losing the bad X. Be positive and don't let anyone or anything ever stop you again from getting what you want in life. Best of luck to you.
@Aidensmommy821 (171)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thank you for your comment. I went to a community college close by my moms last fall and the spring semester and I had gotten finacial aid but everytime I needed to study my sons father would not keep him long enough for me to study so I always had a screaming kid to deal with and when he was playing i got in a little bit of studying but he is like stuck to me. But anyways my point here is that I ended up failing the course that I was taking. So now I have to appeal my finicial aid and figure out if the will let me get it again.
