Why do Women stay with Abusive Men that beat them and virbally asault them?

odd really. my brother is quite an abusive man. i talked to his wife already to leave my brother. she always comes to us when my brother hits her and me and my wife always tell her to leave. i dont know what is going in her mind but she still is there. she tried to leave him and she went to her grandma's place but she heard about her husband (my brother) has a new girl she went home again. i dont know really what is going on minds of this kinds of woman but it is really hard to help someone who just like to rant but not do anything to change it.

I was once an example of a battered wife.I suffered and stay with the relationship for a long time for the sake of our child.I don't want to give her a broken family.I want her to grow with a complete parents.In other words i sacrificed myself for her.But one day our child decided the things for me and it give me courage to leave her father.She told me that it would be better for me to leave him.I am glad she understand my situation.I know she suffered too because i can see she was hurt too everytime her father beat me.Now, we are happy living peacefully and God sent someone to love me and act as a real father for my daughter and i am very thankful for that precious gift He gave me.

it depends on many socio economical condition. in many cases they are afraid that they will not get any partner or any shelter if they leave. also in many cases they don't have means to earn and support themselves. also some women try to reconcile again and again.

Well it is very hard to explain this to those that have never been there. But I myself was in a very abusive relationship for over 8 years.It was both physicaly and mentaly abusive for me.When you are in a relationship like this it is very hard and confusing, after the abuse, he will say he is going to change, you hope he will, but it only gets worse with time.You never know from one day to the next how he will act toward you, one day he will be wonderful, the next, you can not do anything right.They are real controling. To me they are very insecure..That is why they treat wom When you are in one of these relationships it is very hard to get out because you are terrized by this man, You are in fear for your life and He also has your mind so messed up it is so hard to even think,Your self-esteem is at a all time low, he has you thinking you are nobody, no one else wants you, you will never make it, never amount to anything, etc.He will threaten your family, friends, hold things over your head. He will go so far as to threaten your life. And believe you me, some men will do it. So like me all women must take their time and think it through, finding the right time and way out!! There are shelters out there now and restraining orders we mut get..

Well Have you ever heard of a song By Eve? She's a rap artist and although I do not like rap now I used to. One of her songs was entitled "Love is Blind" and was about a woman who was beaten and raped by her significant other and also verbally assaulted by his many mistresses. There's a lyric that goes "Love is blind and it'll take over your mind what you think is love is truly not you've got to reminisce and find." I am not sure why women stay, but I think that you are right in saying that they feel they are weak and can not find love again or fear that they never will. They may also be frightened to leave the man, but I think that a person who turns a blind eye to the situation is not being kind to their friend who is being abused. We are all connected in one way or another so no matter if it's your sister, mom, cousin, or best friend, if you can do something you should. My mother was abused by my father and I really couldn't do anything. He abused me just the same when I was a child as physical but when I was older as emotional. She got rid of him, but it took a lot of strength to do so. I hope that you never experience this and if you have that you quickly find strength to kick the person out of your life. I appreciate your discussion and hope that you get many responses here within. Good Luck to you in life, and have a wonderful day as well as a lovely one.

indeed it is a very complicated one. the most prominent reason why battered wife usually stays is because of what she feels. most women engage in this kind of relationship, thinks that they can change a man for good. some of them love them so much and has no enough courage to leave those abusive men thinking thay they cannot survive without them. so they continue to endure the pain with the hope that someday he will change and be a better person for her.

We have the same question. I do not understand what these men believe in. Specialy when they hurt a woman and claim it is love... I call them a saddist. How can you hurt the person you love. Most people who do this have a reason why they do these. It could have been from their childhood or they are just plain sick. Also, I cannot understand why these women actually stay with these men.Most of them say because of love. I don't get it, how can you love someone if that person is abusing you physically and verbally? Yes, I agree, it is such a complicated subject matter.

I was kind in this kind of situation. It was only verbal abuse that I had to deal with. Finally I did get out of the marriage. But what took me so long was afraid of change, and afraid what other people might think of me. Luckily I had family that I could go to, a place to stay. Maybe others don't have anywhere to go or has no money because the husband or boyfriend was the sole provider. Or fear what they will do if they leave.

Thats a hard question to answer, I always thought well why don't they just leave him, I would, but until your in those shoes, we'll never understand why they stay with them. Maybe they think he'll change, or he says he'll change and they believe him. I don't know why that happens....good discussion topic tho...Have a good day

I have never been in this situation, my boyfriend did however try to control me and I stayed with him a little longer than I should have and the reasons were: 1) To prove a point - people said I could not stay with someone longer than 2 months. 2) I loved him 3) I thought I could change and make him more accepting and less controlling. 4) He said he would change and I thought it was only right to give him the chance. I believe that this points apply to a physically abusive relationships too.

Women are very complicated. When they love somebody, they love even his abuses and beatings. After constant verbal and physical abuses, women tend to have so low esteem that they donot think there is any other place for them. Lack of financial security and just for the sake of kids- are also paramount reasons. Our society is so male dominated and beating woman is coming down from ages so it is also become the mindset of women that it is their destiny to be abused

Probably because they are so in love to their partner, or they haven't realized that life still has many beautiful things to offer them without their abusive partner. Another reason could be that they dont have somebody to go to if they leave their partner or they depend on them on finances. But if I am in their shoes, I would definitely leave...

This a very delicate topic. Me too. I have difficulty understanding why wives like them stay with their abusive husband for long. That's really ridiculous. because if I am a woman and in that situation I will leave my husband the second time he hit me.

i have never been in this situation, nor have i known anyone who has been. but i would imagine it is either due to fear of leaving and being alone to pay finances, carry out responsibilities, etc. just a general fear of being alone, the fear of the unknown, fear of how she will manage her new life, etc. and i also think some women don't leave because they hold on to the hope that he will some day change for the better. i'm not sure if i believe that men can be rehabilitated and get passed their abusive ways. or maybe i believe "once an abuser, always an abuser". i just don't know. it is a difficult, touchy subject.

Some women don't believe their man loves them if beating is not involved.

The self esteem can be damaged, bruised, and broken as easily as skin and bone. A broken self esteem can't stand against an abuser's threats to it any more than a broken tree can to the wind. Only with much healing and help can a broken self esteem can mend, to stand against an abuser as can a broken tree mend in the care of a tree doctor, to stand against the wind.

I do not know the answers to these question and it is very easy to generalize and to simplify something which we know nothing about. There are far too many reasons for these and we are not privy to them. We also do not know the whys and the wherefores and it is certainly not for us to decide on these things.

i am still single and never been in this situation nor knew anyone in this situation...but as per my opinion, i think just thinking that the family will fall apart and the children will not have a complete family is reason enough for a woman to hang-on with a relationship they are not happy,,, every woman wants a complete family for their child and that idea is the one stopping them from leaving their abusive husband or partner. the idea that their child will be tease that they don't have a father or they came from a broken family is hurtful for a mother...so, instead they sacrifice for their child...

As i have heard women stay with their abusive man because when a man hits them or verbally assualt them after doing for sometimes , women got the hung of if , and started to like it or even look for it . Because of some psychological thing they tend to like the abuse being thrown on them.

i feel the male is somehow threatened by the female and lashes out.but no one should have to put up with violence from a man...well not much of a man really.