Do you keep a grudge for a long period.

Deepak It depends. If and when my loved ones are concerned I get very annoyed and hurt but I kinda get okay very soon. I forget and forgive. But otherwise, I take it very seriously. Like in professional field I would hardly forget any kind of belittlement if I am not at all to blame. When I have faults myself, I would graciously accept it. I feel the 'grudge', as you have referred to as, helps you do better and out do yourself. Someone with no grievances are good humans but they fail to excel in life, they remain mediocre.

Dpk, I am of the impression that this attitude of wanting to hold or holding a grudge changes over a passage of time or as you grow more experienced and older. Atleast, in my case I have found it to be. I have held grudges against people both in my personal and professional life, but that was when I was a little younger with a lot more energy. Off late I find it difficult to hold a grudge, and would rather talk it over or try and understand the reason for being let down from the other person's perspective. The grudge if there for some time then does not remain.

No, I don't. Actually I wish I did, at least a bit more, because as a rule I tend to forget things completely and in the past this has brought me some hurt because I forgave, forgot and had the same thing done to me by the exact same person. I don't always retaliate either. It really depends on what it is and how important that is for me. As for keeping a grudge I find it counterproductive. It's better to let it out as soon as possible and get it done with. If there is a possibility for communication we can even take care of the problem right there and then. After that it depends on what I decide. If I decide that I am going to forgive the person, then I do and I don't hang it over her/his head forever and 3 more days. It's forgiven, it's forgotten - yes there have been exceptions, but few - If I don't see how it can be fixed or forgiven, then I chalk it up as experience for the next time and I still move on. Keeping a grudge destroys us right from the inside. It grows in there and makes us unhappy, and the worse part is that it doesn't do us any good. I've know people that forgive others for something they did, and then keep it hanging over the person's head until they die. They waste no time reminding the person of what he/she did, they bring it up in conversations, they tell friends about it... what kind of forgiving is that? Might as well not forgive at all.

Hi dear i have habit of not keeping grudge for long period if i have any peroble, i discuss shout, clear it and done with it. dont keep it with me Take care

When I am let down I do nurse a grudge but do not retaliate. And I dont forget very easily. I may continue to be friends with that person but the same warmth may not be there in the friendship. I forgive but dont forget.

I know some people do depending on what it is. They hold on to things for a long period of time. It's apart of their personality. They hold a grudge for so long that it start to affect their body. When you hold a grudge that is just anger building up in you. Anger can take over your body causing organs to act up and it can also shut down your immune system. Take it from someone that held to many grudges.

no i don't actually... there is no use in doing that... it only makes our life more miserable and add bitterness into our life... life is hard and miserable enough without having to add more burden... it will affect our health as well if we keep a grudge... take care and have a nice day...

i agree with your thoughts.grudge leads to bitterness and it has lot of ill-effects on ones health.its better to forgive a person.

If someone has S**t on your head once, why give them the chance to do it again? Cut them out of your life and concentrate on the people who you know that you can trust - they are your real friends.

HI dpk, I have 2 people in my past whom I forgive but I don't like to be with anymore! They are a good friends at the start but they failed and hurt me..I don't like to pretend accepting them back but having some doubt if they can be trusted again, I better stay away from them so we will not be experiencing the same thing! I know it's not good to hold a grudge but for me it is the best rather than having no full trust to the person.It is better this way!

I like to go to work on the problem immediately by thinking things through rationally. If I am not sure I will talk to a trusted person about what I am feeling. I always want to know what I have done to contribute to a problem going wrong, so that I can learn from it and hopefully it will never happen again. Then I go to work on forgiveness. For me, the sooner the better. Then I work on reconciliation if at all possible.

if some one has done something to me to make me hold a grudge (which is very hard) then i hold the grudge for a long time

I think let it go is good.I agree it

I think it's possible for me to hold a grudge for a while because I'm a very stubborn person, but I also know it's very unhealthy to do so. This is a fast way to ruin friendships and relationships if you can't learn to forgive and move on.

it depends how the person has hurt me. if its something trivial i will not grudge for long. if its something that he/she has cheted on me, big time, i think the grudge will be forever. i can never forgive him/her

I can keep the grudge till I get chance to talk directly to the person, scream, shout, argue, hurt , cry , everything I can do till I take out this grudge, and this I do immediately, or after few minutes, few hours, few days.....but until and unless I do the clarification of misunderstanding I don't get peace. I prefer to talk directly face to face and wash away all this grudge as soon as possible rather than keep it in the heart and suffer the pain. My anger is also same, it reaches straight to the peak like wild heat and next moment it cools down like ice.....but in any case I see that when I get into bed that night, I have cleared my conscious and have nothing to feel guilty about.

Sometimes, but i never done any grudge to any of my friends, but i am thinking of doing it when i am hurt. Because I want them to feel the way i felt. I want them to be hurt also. But as the day passed God takes away the pain and we were refresh of what is hurting inside us.We will still remember the incident but it will be a part of our history.

I did experience such situation dpk. It was very frustrating and I was very angry. I admit that I did have a grudge on the person. But something happened along the way. I was able to change myself into something different, it was not because of the person but it was because of myself. I have learned to change my life into something better. Honestly now, I don't carry a grudge to someone. There are those that hate me or perhaps angry at me, but I do not hate them anymore. I just let it go. The good thing about it is it really makes you feel great.

Hello deepak! I don't take a grudge against anyone. Everytime someone hurt me, I got mad at her for only one hour and it will suddenly get away. But still it depends on how deep she/he hurt me. Maybe if my husband will cheat on me, that's the time I would take a grudge to somebody..hehehehe..

I don't. It is a heavy burden to carry in your heart and I think I'm better off having a lighter and more happier life than by keeping the heavy grudge in my heart.