I am back, but no longer with my abusive husband!

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I am checking back into myLot as of today. I don't know how often I will be back here. When I move into my apartment, I will have Internet Connection back on soon. But as of now, I am trying to get a job and get a new apartment. A friend of mines ffrom high school has been telling me about a program that will give you a grant for free just to go back to school. I plan to look more into it. My kids are doing fine. As for me, I am still stressed out from leaving my husband. I sometimes feel like as if I did the wrong thing, but I know that I did not. I wonder what life will be like like everyday from now. It really scares me. I don't know what to think or feel. All I know is that I have became so tired of being a scared tactic with my husband. He told me this past Saturday, that he will not pay Child Support. He also told me that he is not giving me any money out of the Stimulus Check. He says that it is not my money, it is his, and that, I did not work. I told him that if he filed our three kids, that money is mines, just as much as it is his! I now, have the money going to a private street address. He can change it anytime, being that both of our names are on the check. He can't cash it, without me signing first. I have plans for him to meet me at the bank, so that he can sign it. I will tell the teller to deposit half of this check amount into my bank account. Me and my husband don't share a joint account, and this will be a piece of cake. He may not like it. But, I need this money so that I can take care of our three kids. It is not what he wants anymore, it is what is best for me and the kids! He told the judge that he wants to do everything that he can to take care of me and the kids. Then, why not, does he not want to pay Child Support? That is the best effective way, of taking care of his kids and me. My husband is just such a liar. He even told the judge that I have said that I would kill his mother, and that his sister can testify to that! This is very untrue! I have never made a comment about his mother like that, ever! And as far as his sister is concerned, she is never around when me and my husband communicate like that. He is just making all that up just so that I can go down with him! I told my father about it, and he told me that if he did this to you, you know that he is no good. I know that he is not! Right now, everytime that I see him he is begging me back, but I just can't fall for his lies anymore. I just can't do it. I have to start living my life without him. I have to do what is best for me and my our three kids from now on. He begs me constantly, for us to go and do marriage counseling. But, I am not feeling that. I have done all I can do in this marriage, until there is nothing left for me. I am all cried out! Sometimes, I don't know who I am anymore because of how my husband has brain washed me all these years. But leaving him I will regain all that has been lost and taken away form me, by this cruel and manipulative man!