What can I do? to get privacy in my marriage's life

Hi, this problem is common to many, many couples, and only your husband can find the solution but only if he will. A lot depends from which kind of relation there's between them, how much he feel hold and near to his mother, is not easy, from your side you have to be not to much direct take on your reason but with intelligence without going in conflict with her.. Nun

It is hard when one parent is left,and you are responsible for looking after them,not maybe physically but just making sure that they are ok,and I can understand how you feel,that you are taking a back seat to your MIL,but have you talked to you hubby about this,it works both ways,he has to support both of you,he feels its his role,and then you in turn maybe have to make sacrifices as he is sometimes taking advice from MIL when he should be listening more to you!I think that you need s gentle word in his ear..

Oh well you have to understand that you will really have to be patient with that since I think your MIL really need the attention from her son. But then its best that you two have to talk about how you feel about the situation. I guess it is your right to air how you feel about it and maybe find a compromise as to how you both could deal with the issue amicably. I do believe that somehow there is something you can reach over that discussion. MIL are just that demanding since I see that you MIL is already widowed already and is dependent on your hubby. Be patient and understanding I know your husband won't replace you for her for sure. You will be his wife and your MIL his mother. That is just that.

I presume that your marriage is not very old and you are newly married. Dear it takes time for a guy to adopt and adjust between his mother and wife. It requires lots and lots of wisdom to satisfy both the parties. A husband's position is very vulnerable at times, he is supposed to please and look after equally, both his mother and wife, which is an uphill task. Keep your cool and patience, as your marriage grows older, he would start understanding your importance better. Best of Luck!!

This is a typical triangle and I would not know how to deal with it. I used to have my mother-in-law live with us and she would obey everything I would tell her to do which made her sons jealous of me because she is always saying "underdogtoo says this and that". They hate her but can't stand to hear her praise me. Weird!!

Sounds like your mother in law is going through a tough phase. Just let her have her way for some time. Then try talking to her and making friends with her, make sure she knows you are around to help and gain her confidence. Involve her in some activities at home, ask her for her opinion so she feels she is important and then she will slowly turn to you for support and advice. That way you can hveyour hubby back and your MIL will treat you with respect!

I think you should logically talk to you hubby on this. Don’t become rude or something like ‘you always think of your mother first…’ no, that will make him angry towards you and lean more towards his mom. Gently and patiently, talk to your hubby about your MIL, her loneliness, how YOU LIKE that your hubby helps her and etc. Now when your hubby is in a better mood, also put in your problems but make it sound like it can come after your MIL. Gradually your hubby will start depending on you and loving you more that his mom. Boys feel very guilty to neglect their moms, specially if she is lonely. As a wife, you should not add to it.

That's a mother in law for ya. They love their little boys to much that they just can't accept there is another woman in their life. I would sit your husband down and tell him how you feel. Make him listen. Boys tend to be mommy's little boy no matter how old they are. Tell him he has to make decisions with you not against you, and although you love you mother in law some decisions are ment for you and him to be making not him and his mother. You will have to accept that his mother will still play a major role in his life always, but he needs to learn that in order for the marriage to work there has to be a line drawn for you and him to have a life of your own. goodluck!!

I think we have a common problem. lol I always remind my husband that is it 'our' family. And it is much better if it is the only the to of us who will make decisions concerning our family. If his parents wanted to give their opinion, we will listen, but doesn't necessarily follow.

Well, I cant tell you the 'best solution' but I can tell you what I would do. I would talk to my husband and let him know that I am really missing 'our time' and let him know that I am sympathetic to his mother and his needs and I am not asking him to choose between us. i would just ask that he make time for us to be alone and to maybe also include me and the kids in the outing with his mom. If she is in a time of mourning then I would think that having everyone there together supporting her would be even better and I know that nothing lightens the heart of a grandparent like spending time with the grandbabies.

lovely jo I think your mother in law needs to get some hobbies she likes that will get her out of the house and out of your hair. If she has some clubs she can attend that really appeal to her, she will have found new friendsand a fresh outlook on life so she will be happy and have something to do to replace all her loneliness and possible depression from losing her husband. I too have been there and done that. she needs to get back some self esteem and do things on her own again.

I think that the best thing for you to do is try to spend time with your mother in law together with your husband so that she knows that you love her and care for her as well. I can tell that you understand so I think that the best thing for you to do is to spend time with her so that she knows you love her and so that she can cope with her husbands passing. I wish the best for you, have a wonderfully lovely day.

well just let him know how you feel and hope it would get better. i really dont know the exact situation that is going on but if you think it isnt getting better then you will have to make a decision to either deal with it or leave your hubby. but again i dont know the whole entire situation how serious it is so the decision is one you have to make up on your own.

Maybe you should try to get your MIL involved in a group with lots of friends. I think that is a good way for your MIL to stop depending on your husband so much. If she has her own friends, she doesn't need to be in both your pockets. Why don't you go with her for the first couple of times to a social group, or maybe a dancing class or something? That would help and she wouldn't feel alone. Then she would also feel that she had another woman to talk to, surely it must be hard to have lost her husband and not have another to turn to. If you take his MIL under your wing, you can make a great ally, and also she will give you some room to move if she finds her own group of friends to hang around with, and won't be so concentrated on your life.

i know what it feels like.i have gone through it myself and the only solution i see is to keep quite and avoid frictions.a little bit of patience is rewarding in the long run.