How do you know when someone is really ill or not?
By tonniek02
@tonniek02 (457)
United States
August 2, 2008 9:22pm CST
I have been married for 15 years now, and theres things about my husband I worry about. I go to sleep everynight not knowing weather he is going be still be alive the next morning. He developed a large brown spot in the upper part of his back on the spin about 5 years ago. And sometimes it gets flaky and peel dry skin. At first it looked like aa big brouse.. I asked him what did you do to your back. He didn't know what I was talking about. And couldn't even feel me touching it or even pushing on it. And over the last 6 months I notice another spot kind of like the first comming up just under his shoulder blade. He complains about hurting in the stumic and has heart burn all the time. He goes threw a bottle of anti acide tabbles within 2 to 3 days and thats a large bottle of 95 tabblets. He also complains about not being able to breath and I hear him fight for air during his sleep sometime. I worry, but he will not go to the doc. He keeps saying he probably has cancer. And if that is the case he doesn't want to know for a fact. His thought are, when I die, I die, I don't want someone telling me I only have so long. I don't want to know. But my thought are what if it is something that could be fixed and make you better. He just says he's never been cut on and he's not going to be cut on now. I know there's nothing I can do, to make him go. I just would like to know, If it is possible he is very ill. What can I do. and what do I look for. and what could be wrong with him. I worry, daily
Thanks for letting me talk (type)
3 people like this
8 responses
@joycepapas (95)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
Hi Tonniek2, I understand how difficult your situation
now. There are really stubborn husbands when it comes
to sickness, they are afraid to be discovered. However,
the advice i can give you is first pray for him. It's not
we who can change but God. God will speak thru his mind
and by the time he will be enlightened. Prayer can do
wonders. If we do our part, God will also do His part.
God will do things in a miraculous way. The Bible says,
"ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE, SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND,
KNOCK AND THE DOOR SHALL BE OPENED TO YOU". Increase
your faith in God. Keep believing! For without Him,
we can do nothing..............God loves you!
@tonniek02 (457)
• United States
5 Aug 08
To all those who have give me great advice, I would like to thank you all. And to let you know. 1. I don't have insurance, 2. The cost is not what I worry about, after all you can't get blood from a turnup. 3. I have despiretly begged him to go to the doctor. 4. And the only thing I have left is pray.... So thank you all for letting me just voice my feeling. I just wish, he would hear those feeling.
@joycepapas (95)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
Dear friend, God hears those who pray, just when there faith
comes miracles. Remember, JESUS is the greatest physician
of all times. "For with God nothing is impossible. Believe
that you rceive and you will have it", the Bible says.
@munhozmib (3836)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
3 Aug 08
Hello, Tonniek02!
Wow, that's really worrying. You should ask him to go to the doctor, keep insisting! I believe that it IS possible that he is very ill. Perhaps it is some kind of tumor. What kind of person would choose to die and leave his family behind? Tell him that he should not act like that, he should go to a doctor and diagnose it. It could be something that can be fixed easily, but that could turn into a bigger problem if not treated on time.
Respectfully,
Munhozmib.
@hanirose (307)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
that's bad.. by the looks of it if it's not just a simple skin disease or infection then it could be some form of cancer. even doctors can't say for sure without doing proper tests so i don't think i can really help. I just hope that he turns up to the doctor soon. It's much easier if you would know about the disease or even if he is really ill cause it could be something contagious or communicable for all we know.
@walkthetalk (1307)
• United States
3 Aug 08
The spots could be many things. You could look in a medical book, or
the Internet, at pics similar to the same as your husbands to get an
idea of what the spots may me. You could also go to a local dermatologic
doctors office, They always have brochures, of things to look for in
skin informalities. And that would also have some very helpful information
for your husband. It may change his mind about going to the doctor.
Just search for all the medical problems he has, and show him as many
answers as you can on paper, and maybe that will convince him to
go to the doctor.
good luck. :-)
@zeny_zion (1283)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
i think you better bring your husband to the doctor. dont self medicate. it might be a wrong medication. ive read your story you didnt mentioned about going to the doctor and ask whats happening to your husband. dont ask us. were not doctors. its better if you talk to the doctor. dont let more days just gone by. see the doctor now!
@tiffsmom2007 (279)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Do you have a family Doctor? The reason I ask is if you trust your family Doctor than ask your husband if you can take a few pictures of his back and than take them to your DR. and tell him what's going on. He may be able to give you advice just by looking at the photos. I've had to ask our family Dr. about my husband because he refuses to go to the Dr. period. If your husband won't let you take one while he's awake get one while he's asleep, I know it sounds sneaky but that's what I would do.
@relundad (2310)
• United States
3 Aug 08
This must be really hard. Not only do you have to deal with the fact that your husband obviously has something wrong with him but he is also a very selfish man. Because he is allowing you to worry when he could do something about it. Hopefully he is better in preparing for the worst if it comes to that. As opposed to just leaving you to wonder what happens next.
