Out Of Control Behavior...

I do know several people that act like this. I do know what you mean, I think alot of it is learned behavior. It can be a tough call, because some of them do act like they need medication, when alot of it is learned behavior. They are told they have mental problems, and sometimes I think they use that as an excuse to ac like a fool and get there own way. Its sad too, I know some kids that are headed in that direction, they get away with whatever, they throw a fit and get what they want. Its happening all over. I don't believe in beating a child, I do believe in giving a child an old fashioned spanking when needed. If more kids were knew dicipline there would be less problems. Advice for dealing with an adult, thats tough. I would try to ignore, not react to the behavior, don't feed into it and give them the attention. It depends on what they are doing and how they are acting. Good luck with whoever you are dealing with.

I am totally jumping out on the limb with this one. I believe that society tries to hard to raise the children of today and it confuses children on what is allowed and what is not allowed. Not just confusing children but also confusing young parents as well. We have many active children in a society that unfortunately demands for two parents to work thier butts off, leaving the children with different care givers with different rules. Parents being tired and overworked just trying to put food on the table. When I was young my mom stayed at home which made it very simple to know what was acceptable and what was not. We went to the park to burn off the "kids energy" we went to the library to learn how to be quiet when it was neccesary. We had park councelors and went on outtings. Everything for children of lower income has been taken away leaving children trapped and bored. The worse place to take your children out to eat is at a place where they have slides and such a child never learns how to eat in a restaurant that way. It is very common for any child young enough to throw a fit for something they can not have, this is normal behavior but still needs to be addressed appropriately by the parent, set the rules before you go out. Mothers drag children shopping for hours and expects a child not to want a toy or something fun that is asking alot. Before going out one should say okay here is a couple of dollars that you can spend just for you. Now if the behavior is not being respectful verbally that is a totally different arena then I would say that is due to poor parenting at a young age. As that child turns into a teenager it is a combination of morals from parents and pair pressure from friends that learn the verbal vulgarities and disrespect from home. I do not believe thier is a bratty child on earth what I do believe is parents try to over compensate with materialistic items because the quantity of time has diminished so. All children have stages in life they go through, I do not care if you are rich or poor children will push parents to the limits and test them as much as they can. Is there poor parenting of course there is ,but the chances are those parents were also raised by poor parenting. Once again we live what we learn. I see you say you have dealt with alot of children do you have any of your own? Dealing with someone elses child is much easier than dealing with your own all the time. I have 5 children that have all put me through many tests, all being different and sometimes being total hellians at home. They knew how to behave when we went out and have and will continue to be well mannered and respectful of others. Alot of people believe children should be seen and not heard. Sometimes children have very important things that they must share and adults tend to dismiss them and not make the time to listen which will most certainly upset a child as if they do not count. So many different scenerios in what you are saying.

I have had to deal with it before and I can't stand it when people do this with their kids. They don't realize that they are doing more harm than good to their children. Kids need to learn discipline and manners and how to respect. My advice is the same as yours. Be firm and teach right from wrong.

Yes. I have had to deal with alot of good and bad behavior with children also. Sometimes it is the parents fault because they allow the behavior from them. the need to be set rules and guidelines for the child ro the will turn out to be very rebellious, self-centered and unruly.

When I was growing up, everyone had the same set of rules to follow. It was easier to follow the rules when all your friends and other kids in the neighborhood had the same curfews, limits obligations and responsibilities. When mom or dad said no to a request, that was it.... no tantrums, no time-outs. When a situation came up and one musters up enough courage to talk back, YIPES! you can bet a spanking, grounding, taking away privileges, and a host of other "tortures" befell us. A little fear of getting in trouble went a long way to keep us in check. Raising my own children, I used the time-outs and non verbal communication to discipline. I dealt with tantrums a lot because the punishment was nothing to be afraid of ...

Yea. I've seen the angelic and devilish side of kids. I totally agree with you. Rules and limits must be set and adhered to. What's the point of setting rules and allowing the kids to break them. Many parents are too busy with their work and no time for their kids. So, to compensate for that lack, they pamper their children (buy them whatever they want or let them do whatever they want). This is so wrong. Parents really need to know how to balance their life, spend more time with their kids and make sure the rules and limits are set and adhered to.

i think what you said is the best thing to do. is treat children with a firm hand and lots of love and you can't go wrong. remember children are people too and you need to treat them as people. that is how you treat adults too.

You have an excellent point. I was probably considered the "mean mom" cause I did not let my kids do some of the things others did. I can also remember when my ex daughter in law kept telling her daughter "if you don't stop, I'm going to spank you". I finally got fed up listening to her and told her to either quit threatening cause the kid is not paying attention or do what she promised. Like you said I have known a lot of bratty adults too. Grrr.

Hi twoey,I have not tried to deal with people like this...My younger Sister is a year only younger than I do!I have no kids this time plus my sister also has no kids yet! ANyway, I have observed friends and neighbors who have to deal with kids like this but after a few spanking, they will stop! LOL!ANyway, I agree with you that setting rules is very important as well as being consistent in decisions! Not that, the rules can be interpreted otherwise after listening to some excuses...One should be very firm in the rules...In that way, kids will learn that if they will do this and that, they are going to receive some sanctions![em]

I deal with adults like this. I've never really encountered a child completely out of control. Sure, unruly, rowdy and rude while a parent idly sits by. But it's the adults that are always the worst. I have no advice for dealing with adults who should know better. Even if those adults were never taught manners or how to behave, I feel that after the age of 25 or at the most, 30, it's definitely a case where they know better but just refuse to make the effort.

I taught 120 of them a year, the adults where I worked were called Inmates. My advice is to set rules and stick to them or you can visit your kid in prison. One time I walked into the prison and was told to see the Watch Commander, I asked if I had done something wrong or if I was in trouble. He said, "No, get a load of this... A parent of an inmate who is in his 30's called to complain that you're making her kid do homework." I said, "What did you tell her?" "Well Ma'am if you had made your Kid dod homework when he was a child, maybe he wouldn't be here right now."

i used to teach pre-k a few years back, and i encountered all kinds of children. i've have always been a firm believer in the statement that parents know what kind of kids they have, and they know what kind of future they will have. they know whether they are saving for college tuition or bail money. i truly feel that if you don't discipline a child when they are still young enough to learn the correct behavior, the justice system will do it for you. and if it gets to that point, they won't be so kind.

I see parents like this on a daily basis and it makes me sick. Whenever I see a bratty child, I want to slap the parents! Parents are too afraid to be strict with their kids anymore, and would rather pacify them with video games and such. I think something should be done, because those bratty children are going to be a menace to society when my children are adults, and my children are going to take the brunt of it. I also can't stand all the pill pushing. I don't think half of these medical conditions truly exist. I've never seen a child who really deems to be labelled ADHD. Why don't they get it? Children are naturally hyper. Childen naturally have short attention spans. It is something they grow out of in time. Let kids be kids without medicating them and making them feel like there is something wrong with them.

hi twoey68 , i know abt such kids..i have a daughter who is 5 and i am still teaching her to behave properly , obey elders ,maintain certain discipline etc. but now a boy around her age has come to stay nearby and he comes to play with her. He is such a brat..he wont listen to his mother, would hurt my daughter if he does not get her toys to play with , throws tantrums so that he can have the swing at all times , opens all my drawers and removes all the documents from them etc...i have a hard time when he and his parents come visiting...he does not listen to his parents...and now my daughter has started behaving like him...she has started throwing tantrums too...i just do not know how to handle the situation....

I live next door to a so called adult like this. She likes loud music so everyone has to listen, she likes parties so we have to wait up until two in the morning until the noise stops. She sees nothing wrong with her behaviour and usually threatens violence if asked to turn the usic down. I have heard her screaming at her partner until she gets her own way. I agree with you the boundaries have to be set when children are young and they need to be taught to respect others. I had another neighbour, hapily she moved, when asked if she would turn the music down her mother came out and started shouting abuse at myself and my husband. How can anyone learn respect from that example? I am proud of my children and grandchildren, it was hard work not to give in to tantrums and not letting them have their own way but it has paid off, everyone that meets them says how nice they are. The best advice I ever had was 'let your 'no' mean no and your 'yes' mean yes. I have tried never to let my children down if I have told them they would get a treat but I have also made sure they knew that if I said no, they knew that's what I meant.

Hi Twoey:) I know several "adults" that act like this! Arrggg... Trying to explain to them the simple fact of life "that you cannot have everything you want", is a futile and exhausting task. I know one guy that even thinks that his bank account should not be overdrafted if he buys food! He thinks the bank is obligated to feed him! I just can't see the logic in that. Crazy people...what can we do? lol

First off you need to make sure that they don't actually have a mental problem. Some people were abused as kids and that's why they act the way they do because they finally are able to gain some control over what's happening in their lives by being mean to other people. Such people need therapy, redirection, and friends who are willing to stand by them as they get treatment for these problems. One of my friends is like this and is still my friend because I accept her and her behavior to a degree. I still try to make regulations about what she can and can't do in my house. But mostly as long as she's not physically abusing anyone, which she has gotten way better at, I tolerate her mood swings which are indicative of her PTSD and child abuse issues. On the other hand, I also know people who have had no bringing up what so ever and think they are entitled to everything they want without working for it. I lost patience at these people because unlike my friend they can control their behavior.

Kids have more energy and they often get in the way of what some people call acceptable behavior. I do not call being energetic and running, climbing etc, out of control behavior. We pay the price of having kids in the form of taking care of them that they don't hurt themselves. I don't think kids should be controlled. They should be taught, not controlled.

This is so true kids nowadays are really out of control.They lack real spiritual guidance and this is the reason for the treason.Kids build there character in the first seven years of there life.If they are not taught the right path before this time more than likely they might be lost forever.I've dealt with many young children in my neighborhood in jamaica,queens,ny.These kids just do and say what they feel because their parents dont have anytime for them.It's for the most part the parents fault.The only thing that can save these troubled kids now is to pray for them and keep encouraging them about the good qualities they possess.Maybe,you might have a better chance of saving a few kids at least from a life of destruction.

Oh goodness yes! I've been a nanny for 13 years, from kids with asthma, to kids with ADD/ADHD! oddly enough, i the children with ADD?ADHD behaved better, mosre so because I would give them a book, meant for children, to understand what it is that they have. And of course they'll get upset if something doesn't go their way, but that's when you treat them like an adult, yes that's right, treat them as an adult. I would ask one of the kids, "Sweetie, why are you upset? What happened? Having a bad day?" Sometimes they would explain, sometimes they wouldn't. I would give them a few minutes, and then ask them if they would like to help me with housework, like getting supper ready. Once that was done, I would ask them if they were ready to explain what happened, no matter what the response, press them for an answer, ask and give suggestions like, "Was it school? Was someone mean to you? Did something scary happen? Or you just don't know?" Very rarely it's I just don't know. When that is the case I would just tell him, oh well, maybe next time you don't know why you're mad, maybe not take it out on your little brother? Because he didn't do anything to deserve it right? Right. You can also ask for time to yourself in your room to cool off if you need it too. Nothing wrong with that. Thanks for helping me with supper! Sometimes, scarily enough, I have to talk to adults like this too ha ha. Hope that helps!!