I got very upsetting news yesterday afternoon, I may have a battle on my hands .
By SheliaLee
@SheliaLee (2736)
United States
August 3, 2008 6:57am CST
My son's aide who has been with him ever since he started high school called us yesterday and told us she had been notified by mail that her position as his aide has been elimlnated!! Needless to say I am extremely ticked off right now and Stuart is very upset also.
Some of you may not know but my son has autism. He was diagnosed in kindergardaen and has had an aide since that time through the school system. Stuart has made wonderful progress since he got the help that he needed. We had to fight the people at the Board of Education at first to get the aide plus Occupational and Speech Therapy. The lady who was over Special Education at that time was very rude to my husband and he had to get rude back with her. We finally were able to get all that taken care of and I thought everything was fine.
At the end of this past school year when I went for Stuart's IEP meeting they talked with me about GRADUALLY WEANING Stuart away from his aide since he has made so much progress. Also because of the diploma that Stuart is taking during his senior year he will be required to work so many hours of an actual job where he will be graded but will also receive pay for it. They said that his aide would not be able to go with him to work so they felt he would need to slowly get Stuart used to being without one. I agreed to this. They said that starting this school year that the aide would be with him a specified number of minutes in each class but that he will start doing more and more things on his own. I had no problem with this because Stuart is very able to do more things independently, but I had no idea they would take it upon themselves after I had signed my name and Stuart also signed his name to change this.
I am extremely upset by this and I will be calling the Board of Education first thing tomorrow morning to speak with the two ladies over the Special Education department. If I cannot get this resolved by talking with them I plan to go to the Superintendent himself. If that doesn't work I'll go over all their heads. I'm not someone who likes to make waves and cause a ruckus, but they aren't going to mess with my son and his education. This is something that fires me up in a heartbeat when someone does something to affect my family like this.
Please pray for me tomorrow as I talk with them that I can get this resolved. I ask you to also pray for me that I will be able to talk calmly without losing my temper which is what I'm afraid of because I don't want to do that. I'm not saying I would curse them or anything because I'm a Christian and with the Lord's help I wouldn't do that, but I know that losing my temper right off the bat will not solve anything. I want to handle this the way God would have me to and to get my son taken care of.
God Bless and thanks for listening. Have a wonderful day!!SheliaLee
14 people like this
29 responses
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
3 Aug 08
I can understand exactly what you ae going through my dear, but i hpoe this a battles youcan still fight and win, see the authorities and make sure this situation is addressed immediately!
3 people like this
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
3 Aug 08
Very correct, I have been working in an Institute of spcial needs for a while, and issues of disability be they in children or adult touch me deeply!
3 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Bless your heart! I so much appreciate and admire the work that you do. It takes a special person to work with special needs children/adults. My son has made a lot of progress and we are still learning what we need to do to help him, but I love my son and will fight tooth and toenail for him!! Again, God Bless You and thank you for your support!!
2 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Thank you so much my friend, your support means a lot to me. I see that you username is academic2, are you by chance a teacher or associated with the school system in any way?
Thanks again for your response!!
2 people like this
@kbjunior15 (1309)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I am a teacher and these type of things are becoming all too common. We have teachers in our district that were informed about their change in position because they found it posted on the website. My school will have about 5 or 6 new teachers in the building because they moved 5 or 6 to other buildings. Craziness. A lot of good teachers are getting screwed over these days, as well as the students, because schools care more about state test scores than they do about teachers and students.
3 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Yes, the same things are happening at my son's school and at the school where my mother is a volunteer. It is an outrage and we as parents are going to have to take a stand to help you teachers out. I am very tired of these things happening. Thank you for what you do as a teacher. You don't get enough thanks for the work and time that you put into your students and I want to let you know that I really and truly do appreciate you and all teachers. God Bless and thank you for your response!!
3 people like this
@kbjunior15 (1309)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I wish we had a lot of parents like you in our schools. Unfortunately, we do not.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (93739)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I will certainly be praying for you SheliaLee. It's ridiculous the amount of things that get screwed up like this, important things. I know going through red tape is hard, and if you're like me I started off nice and well mannered. As time wore on I continued to be well mannered, but got more forceful in how I dealt with them. I'm like you, no cursing, but sometimes they just don't understand kind words and explanations. They really don't. It's almost like they want to see how far you're willing to push it before they help you.
3 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I will keep you in my thoughts while you do this as I know it's going to be hard to fight the entire school system if that happens to be the case. I hope that you will not have to, and good luck to you and your son as well!
3 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Thank you hon. The support of you and my other friends here on MyLot means so much. I love the fact that I can talk about things whether funny or sad and everyone on here cares so much. I will post an update tomorrow after I have contacted the Board of Education.
Hugs!
3 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I am glad that I could encourage you, and I will check tomorrow for the update! Good Luck again!
3 people like this
@WATARIKENJI (1534)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
Hi, I symphatize with you and Stuart. I have heard of many cases like that of Stuart and it's really hard. You are strong parents. I hope that everything will work out fine for you with the help of our Lord.
3 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Yes, you are right and it is time we as parents do something about this. I appreciate so much your kind words and support, please continue to pray for Stuart and for me. God Bless!!!
2 people like this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
3 Aug 08
Hi SheliaLee,
That is just plain wicked to take your son's aide just like that and why don't they do what they said about weaning your son's from his aide instead of just snactching he away? if I were you I'll be seeing red and the air would be blue. I will be lightning a candle and pray for you, hope all will be well.
Tamara
3 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
4 Aug 08
You are very right my friend!! I was definitely seeing red Saturday afternoon when I found out about it. I appreciate your encouragement and I'll post an update today after I have made my phone calls.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
4 Aug 08
You stand your ground! I have had to several times with our school system for my son. I don't like to shake them up either, but sometimes we have to. If I complain, they know I am really upset, because most of the time, I say nothing. If you get nowhere, find your advocate for your school system, they can make a great difference. Good luck to you, and don't let them run over you.
2 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
4 Aug 08
Thanks so much Mickie!! I hope to have some better news before the day is over that I can share with everyone. God Bless!!
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
3 Aug 08
I just don't underdstand the system at all. Both my grandchildren need speek therapy and man oh man did my daughter ever get the run around like you can not believe. Now I read your story and all I could think of was, "Yep that figures." you're definately not alone. My grandchildren did finally get the help they needed but let me tell you it wasn't without a fight. My daughter didn't yell and swear either but she wrote letters and went above everyones head. It's a brutel situation for sure and obviously very nerve wrecking, as our children are always extremely important to us all. Prayers going your way!!! Good luck and God Bless.
2 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
4 Aug 08
It is a shame that our school systems have gotten in the shape that they are in. I wonder how these people would react if it were their child being treated like this? I'm sure they would pitch all kinds of fits and raise cane until they get what their child needed. It is time we as parents take a stand about our children being treated like this.
I appreciate so much your prayers and your words of encouragement. Hugs!
Shelia
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
4 Aug 08
Thanks so much Jill! The stress is pretty bad right now. I just pray that things will be better this morning after I make my calls, although it may take a day or so to get all this worked out. God Bless!!
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
4 Aug 08
Hi SheliaLee, I think that it's terrible that they have decided to change everything at once. As your son has had the aide throughout his school years, it made a lot of sense to take things slowly and gradually wean him away from such help. I agree that you should fight this all the way and hopefully someone will understand. Sometimes we meet such a person early in the in the process, I hope this happens with you. Blessings.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Aug 08
sheila Hi I will send my prayers to you and Stuart that you keep
your cool, and get the school officals to help you to have teh aid at least partof the time as agreed by you and the other people.I will pray for you to keep your temper even if you have to go uip the chain of command to the top.Dont hesitate to go
to the Superintend if you must as they have tomake good on their promise to yuou. good luck and God bless.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
4 Aug 08
If you have to go to the school board, make sure you put the information in writing, and then make sure that every board member has a copy. Things like this have a tendency to get buried.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Bless your heart. I will pray that God gives you the strength and the wisdom to handle this in the best way for you, for Stuart and for the people who changed their minds about Stuart's education mid-stream. What they've done is not right. Especially with autistic kids, it's important that they know that they can trust the word of persons in authority. What you had was like a contract and they've gone back on it. Don't they understand that autistic people think literally? When a promise is made, they expect it to be kept.
2 people like this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
4 Aug 08
Thank you so much Kenzie!! I appreciate your prayers and support!! Please continue to pray and I'll be posting an update as soon as I can.
@fluffnflowers (1594)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Wow! That's almost cruel to just yank him away from someone who's been helping him for so long. Weaning him off is one thing, but ceasing all assistance is just...wow! I hope you don't have to make a ruckus and stir things up and that things get resolved quickly and easily. And good on you for standing up for your son's wellbeing and education! 
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Thanks hon, you have hit the nail right on the head. Not only is it unfair to my son, it is unfair to his aide. She has become very close to Stuart and he loves her dearly. She is also a good friend of our family, we have known her for a long time. The fact that they told her by mail, didn't even have the decency to call her to say "We need to have a meeting." I think just stinks also.
I haven't let my son see me cry but I have cried in front of my husabnd because this has torn me up bad. You just don't mess with a child's education. They can mess with me, but don't mess with my child. He is 15 years old but he is still my baby.
Thanks so much for your response!!
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
4 Aug 08
I would say taking the aide away just like that is wrong. I would go through the gradual process. If you do not do anything then your son is going to be back to where he started or reverse. That does not look good. I pray that the Special Education people change their mind. Maybe that special education lady felt that you were the cause of your son's autism. Some people are like that. Why not write to the authorities like her, tell them that you did not take anything during your pregnancy to deliberately caused your son's autism and if you did unwillingly, you had no idea.
They really should stick with the promise.
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
4 Aug 08
They can't change it without another IEP meeting or contacting you. It wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to an advocate.
Been where you are at myself. Dig your heels in and fight!
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Aug 08
We had to fight for Cary initially also, they didn't want to put him in with an eligibility of autism, they wanted to use developmentally delayed. This would have deprived him of both speech and occupational therapy. Fortunately the school district didn't fight us too hard, how could they when we had two medical diagnoses of autism. Anyway I wish you the best of luck with this, hope that they will see reason. Best of luck and let me know how it turns out!
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
4 Aug 08
They don't like labeling a kid but I learned they can't get the right help without being labeled. Sometimes being politically correct is NOT a good thing.
1 person likes this
@slcharger (74)
• United States
4 Aug 08
It sounds like they are out of compliance with his IEP. Just calmly remind them an IEP is a legally binding document and all parties agreed and signed your son would continue to receive an aide and slowly wean her away. By them taking it upon themselves to terminate her position all at once instead of in increments they have broken that agreement. Remind them under IDEA your son has federal and state laws behind him and you would hate to have to contract an attorney just to ensure his rights but you will if it comes to that. School districts HATE the threat of lawsuits, and you are well within your rights to request legal assistance. If needs be call another IEP meeting and write out specifically how the aide will be weaned. For example Stuart's assisted hours will be decreased in increments of 10 minutes per class every week or every two weeks, until he is able to complete work independently. You can also put in a clause that states if he is not transitioning well the hours can be increased again. When he starts working he may need additional assistance for training, include that in the IEP. I hate to fight, but have had to fight for my son and his educational rights as well. It is a never ending battle. You are further along in your battle than I, but I have also worked in the district and know they will do as little as they can get away with. I am so sorry they are trying to pull this crud with you. Good luck and keep us informed.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
4 Aug 08
bless your heart, that is a crying shame. i wish you all the luck in the world, u are probably going to need it. i bet if they were to cut out some of these good for nothing lazy people that are too sorry to get out & get a job to keep up their own families who keep having another baby ever time they can so they can draw e money & food stamps every month there would be money to help programs such as your son is in & needs. good luck. let us know how it turns out.
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
The moment that you read this I know that the problem you
had is already resolved. I know you had this strong will to
control your emotion when you most needed it. Taking away your
son's aide is uncalled for with out you consulting first. I know
that the Special Education has only good intention for Stuart,
but the only problem is they don't inform you first. So that you
can have a say on that matter.
I think a mutual understanding should be drawn at the center so
that both parties can contribute more in a positive way for Stuart's
future. I have seen Stuart's photo. He is a very healthy boy. A cute
little angel. The love you give him radiates on his personality.
I have no other wish but for Stuarts well being and bright future.
Cheers for Stuart!
2 people like this
