Are parents always right!?!
By eiram25
@eiram25 (1076)
Philippines
August 3, 2008 10:32pm CST
There's always this cliche that parents only want what's best for their children. Having this in mind,I have been a very obedient daughter to my parents. I did what they want me to do. I tried to please them the best way I could. I can say my life was kinda boring at some point coz' my life revolved only around the school and at home. I don't go out, I have a zero night life and a zero love life as well. At last,I graduated from college and got my license as a professional. Somehow this made me think "ok, I've done my part," and felt that it was time that I enjoy my freedom. So, I tried to get into this relationship with someone I know way back in high school. Knowing that my parents are conservative and that the kind of communication line between us is not that open, I only told them the info when my boyfriend and I were officially together. I thought my parents will somehow understand, but to my dismay, they were upset about it and asked me to end the relationship right away. Being the eldest in the family, they expect me to concentrate on helping my younger brothers finish school. It's not that I don't want to help my family or something, but I think I can still help them without compromising the relationship I have with my boyfriend. But they were persistent. It made me mad coz I thought they're being unfair. I can say that I somehow rebelled and did not part with my boyfriend. We're still together right now but I'm kinda sad that my parents aren't happy for me, but I just can't leave my boyfriend for a petty reason. It's also unfair on his part. I'm kinda confused now if I should stay with him or follow what my parents want. They said they're only thinking what is best for me. But really, does knowing what's best for me makes them right at all?....=(
2 people like this
17 responses
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
4 Aug 08
Parents need to know when to bow out of thier childrens lives. Of course we all want the best for them. You say they think you should be helping your younger brother through school? Are they expecting it financially or supportively? You can still have a life and support your brother emotionally. To me you have already set the example of how important school is. Education is a lifelong thing we learn new things every day.
I would like to congratulate you on being such a fine daughter and your parents are blessed. As a young adult you need to have all your focus on your happiness. I have 5 children and never would I expect such things for my children. I can help guide them to not make the same mistakes in life that I have made but sometimes that isnt the best way for them to learn. I am here to support my children when they need me. 3 of mine are young adults. I just have say so over my 8 and 16 year old. How old are you?
1 person likes this
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
I'm 22 by the way. My parents expect me to help my brothers financially. I have nothing bad against my parents but it makes me feel like I am being raised in order to help raise the family's financial standings. I mean, I'm fine with it. I just want them to understand and also take into consideration about my feelings in things like this.
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
4 Aug 08
This is a parents responsibility to financially help the child, sure if you would like to help your brother out financially that is just fine but to require this from you is absurd. What is wrong with your brother helping to support himself? I live in the United States and this I believe would be absolutely crazy for us here to request this of our child.
At 22 you should be enjoying your life and saving your own money for things you and your future family would want in life.
Is this part of your culture? Is this expected from the eldest?
To answer your question NO parents are not always right, they too are humans and do indeed make mistakes as well
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
I think it has somehow become a part of our culture here in the Philippines,especially if the kind of family one has is not a well-to-do one. Older children are considered to be an investment that might be the hope of the family in the future. I have accepted this kind of role and I don't blame my parents for it was also my choice to help them. I think their reaction is just a product of their overprotectiveness since I am also the only daughter, and that probably they haven't adjusted to the transition that I am really growing up.
@k4karthik (439)
• India
4 Aug 08
I cant say parents are correct all the time. But i say we should listen to them. They have seen this world before use. They got lot of experience. When ever we feel their view is different than us, we should discuss with them and go forward. They are our well wishers. They dont want us to get foiled. They are thinking from the side of our benefit. Sometimes they may wrong but that is not to down us.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
4 Aug 08
No I think anyone can be wrong, I can remember my mother getting so upset when my sister got engaged, for a silly reason she tried to break them up but I can honestly say their marriage is the best marriage i have ever seen, they have three beautiful grown up children and they are as much in love as they were when they first met, I have never seen such a romance and i think if my sister had listened to my mother it would never have been...
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I'm not sure in this case that they do know what's best for you. Is something wrong with your boyfriend that they don't like him or is it just that they think no one is good enough for their little girl? If he has serious flaws, consider breaking up with him but don't just do it because your parents tell you to. Perhaps if the relationship becomes more serious and they see that he is honorable and not just out for some nookie they will like him better. You should talk to them about why they don't like him. Perhaps they know something you don't. Perhaps not.
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
I think my parents are just overprotective of me coz I'm the only daughter and the eldest in the family. In fairness to my boyfriend, he is good and he understands that my parents aren't up to the transition yet that I am a grown lady now and eventually I'm going to have my own family soon.
Just like what the others advised me to do, I'll probably consider talking to them. I'll have my fingers crossed coz I really feel awkward talking to them about these things. tnx! =)
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
You're a good daughter and if I'm your parents I'll be very proud of you. But let me tell you that parents do want the best for their children. I am yet to become a parent but I love my parents so much. I've been an obedient daughter too to the point that I graduated a course that Papa picked for me and married the husband that he thought was the best for me.
It turned out that I don't like my course, though it had helped me in many ways, I felt I could have done better in the medical field or in the field of law. I've also been a separated woman for 4 years now, marriage life has been hell. But I didn't blame Papa at all. During those times, Papa saw that it was the best for me. He couldn't have known what the future would hold for me. Of course, he never expected my kind-looking ex-husband to hit me, to become a drunkard and an gambler. I'm sure he never wanted me to have that bad life since he took good care of me since I was conceived in my Mama's womb.
He decided for me, that was the wrong part. But I agreed, and I was partly to be blame.
Yes, parents know what's the best for their children and sometimes they go lengths to prove they're right. It would be best however that parents and children have an open communication. Both sides (child and parents) must lay down all plans, all options that they both think would be best for the child. And then, together, they must evaluate each option for the pros and the cons, until they agree on one course of action. Try to see things in the same perspective.
Don't take it too hard. Don't hate your parents. Though they may not know what's the right thing for you since they're not God, however, they don't want to harm you, that's for sure.
@bournecaindelta (2477)
• India
5 Aug 08
Well, there are sometimes when you just gotta tell them that you have different plans with your lives. One cannot always do what their parents want them to. Parents are not always right, but it's just that they are trying to protect you. Although in your case, it's time you stood your ground and told them that you can support your brother's education even when you are enjoying yourself.
They tend to get confused between what the want and what their child want and think that what they are telling is always for the child's benefit. It has happened to me too. They always wanted me to do things their way. But I stood my ground and told them why I wanted to do things my way and, fortunately, they understood me and I have had no problems with them.
Just give them some time and try to tell them that it's time you lived your life, and hope they try to understand.
bourne
@bournecaindelta (2477)
• India
5 Aug 08
Talk to them.. That's the only softest thing you can do right now. You have to tell them that it's time you took charge of your life. And assure them that this relationship won't hurt your feelings to wards hem and that you will still support your family. I think this is the only safest thing you can do right now. talk to them and assure that what you are doing is right and that you want to do this your way.
bourne
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
Thanks for the tip. Well,I just hope they'll understand me. Hopefully, they'll get to realize that they've been through my stage once in their lives and that they should start allowing me to do things my way. How nice it would be enjoy my independence!..=)
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
5 Aug 08
im a parent too..but i guess yours was unfair..your old enough to decide whats right and wrong..if you think that you love him and vice versa then dont give up on him..i guess your parents are scared ..since if you got married and then you cant help anymore your brothers to finish school...i think you need to reassure them about this..and promise that you will never stop helping your bros. until such time they finish school and be able to stand on their own and help in return their parents..
@blackmantra_x (2732)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
Good day... Talk to your parents, explain how you want to have a relationship with that person and that you would still help you younger brother in anyway you can. Don't rebel, compromise. Maybe they really need your help in turn of financial support regarding your brother's study and try to understand them for that. If you have good communication with them, I think you'll work it out with them. For the question, No, parents are not always right but no doubt they love us more than any BF/GF can and that's the truth and they always have the best intentions for us in their heart.
@sumedhag (6)
•
5 Aug 08
yes it's true that parents do that which is best for their parents but, they are also human being mistake can be done by anybody so if the mistake is done by them that doesn't mean that they are wrong . a parent can never do bad for his/her child.
@ashleecook (199)
• Canada
4 Aug 08
i dont think parents are always right. i think they are right sometimes, and i think children are right sometimes. i mean, we're all human, so we all make mistakes, right?
@belindabentley (223)
• United States
5 Aug 08
You have to know a parents job, to understand your own. A parent is there to teach you how to be an adult and how to make your own decisions! Then they let you go and trust you did a good job! They aren't really understanding their part and they need to let you go... you need to make your own decisions and trust that they did an awesome job. So you can make awesome decisions!!!
@Shavkat (139933)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
Passing of characteristics in generation to generation is a fulfillment. Parents used to watch their kids as they grow, the priceless parenthood is a very important role to build a strong foundation in the family. That makes them right for their children.
@tlb0822 (1410)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I think that you should continue your relationship with your boyfriend. It sounds as if you have done everything that your parents have asked from you, but now is your time. It is your time to make the decision for your self. Of course your parents want what is best for you, but it is time for them to step out, and let you make your own choices. If it was me, I would stay with my boyfriend. Eventually your parents may come around to it and see that you can make your decisions, and they should already trust you to make the right choice. You can still help your brothers with schooling, but that honestly is not your responsibilty. I think you owe it to yourself to stay with your boyfriend and just be upfront with your parents. Just explain to them that you still will be there for your family, but you need some freedom with your relationships.
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
4 Aug 08
Good heavens! Of course parents aren't always right. Hopefully we don't screw up the basic/main things too badly as parents, but no ones knows what is best for each of their children, and there comes a time parents have to let their kids decide what is best for them!
@leojennyzi (82)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
ohh.. I don't think so.. even if they are your parents their are times that they are wrong, so why don't you try to talk with.. heart to heart talk and share what you feel and say what was the wrong part of them.. but don't forget that they are your parents and even they are wrong just think positively..^^
