Do You Think It's Rude to...?

Hi thayes. Personally, if it is someone that we know, I want them to feel comfortable and at ease while they are in my home and I will tell them to please help themselves to food, drinks, etc. Of course, I wouldn't do that if it was someone I just met. I have a saying in my home, "the first time you come to my house, you are my guest but the second time.....Get it yourself!"

It is known to all that ask for permit when you need something in other's house. You can criticize them for their misbehavior and tell them how to do. You have a right and responsibile to do that becouse they are kids and they will act this way in other's house.

I would never go into someone's fridge without being told to do so. Especially if it's a first time thing. My dad would turn over his grave if I did anything like that in somebody's house. If it was my best friend's house, I'd probably be comfortable enough to do that (but up to this day, have never done it.) I guess you just need to explain to your daughter your thoughts about it so it would help her and her friends understand.

I think that when our parents get pissed at us for doing something like that we get scared and make it our belief too! I think we need to be more open as parents and ask why do I feel this way. It would have shocked me if it happened to me, but I would admire that she felt that comfortable. I think it is awesome! My dad told us not to ask because people would think we were poor. His pride was i the way of everything... I think he was wrong. I will ask, because if you can't ask your friends who can you ask. And if you don't ask how can you know. don't ask your friends how will you know. My suggestion be more open and question why your parent said things they did and does it still apply today...

hi, umm i think you are both wrong sorry. i was raised like you to not ask for things or touch things in people's home. but if you're daughter is spending the night then she needs to eat. i just don tlike that this girl wen into your fridge with out asking thats really rude. but you should have a plate of some kind of snack s out for the kids teens are very hungry. but as far as not asking they are wrong even if your daughter ate there every day they should not think it ok for their daughter to just go in your fridge.

I understand where you are coming from, although i think you went the wrong way about handling this situation.this is a new day in age and what wasnt accepted back then is accepted now. Just your daughter to let her friends know if they want something they either ask you or her.

We would never ever think of opening someone else fridge for any thing even family. And I expect the same. I do ask people that are visiting if they want something to drink even if all I have is water. As for food noway. Even my grandson who lives with me ask most of the time if he can have something because I might have plans for something for a meal. Even if they are spending the night that doesn't give them license to eat just any thing in the fridge. Some kids just think they have the right to what they want. Sure they are growing but they still need to have manners.

I was also taught the same thing and if you wanted something, all you needed to do was ask. It's fine if they ate at my house as long as they asked for it instead of helping themselves. I would want the same thing for my son if he went to a friends place, that he asks the parent or his friend when he's thirsty or hungry, as I wouldn't want him going without until he got home.

It depends actually on how you look at it. We all have different cultures, and here in the Philippines, we don't really mind people who are familiar with us to go and check our fridge if there is something to eat unless that the owner is greatly suffering from financial stability. The thing is, if majority in your town find that act unnatural, then you should stop, but if it is something they don t really care about, just make a good explanation why it shouldn't be done.

Well,in our house,If there's a visitor we entertain them,even the friends of my children.I always practice them to be good and hospitable to people.Its not really bad to be like that.Maybe its how we're raised and taught.Again,its not really that bad!:)

All people should have manners especially the younger generation. I wouldn't have been that mad but I would have said something about it. It's just not right.

I was raised just like you. I wouldn't dream of going into someone's fridge! However, I find myself in the same situation as you. My kids friends come and help themselves, or they ask after the fact. I checked with other moms here at work and they are in the same boat. One contributor to this situation is the fact that when I was small, I wasn't allowed to stay over too long at friend's houses, let alone sleep-over. My daughter's friends come over a few times a week and stay for hours and hours so they do get hungry and have to eat. Sometimes I think its a bit rude on the parents part to leave them over so long knowing that the kids need to eat. I agree with you that it is rude behavior, but at the same time, I want her friends to feel comfortable in our home. It's a toughie!

I was also raised the same way, whenever we went to visit someone we had to sit still and not be asking for anything or looking around and being nosey. Most kids these days aren't taught to respect other peoples houses and property, our house isn't child proof, we don't have any children, so that means we have things that I don't want the kids getting into and bothering, my husband has a re-loading table where he loads bullets and stuff because he likes to hunt, well I don't want any of the kids getting into that stuff because I don't want them to get hurt, because theres no telling what all my husband has over there. I have 6 nephews, and sometimes at least a couple of them are here, and I try to teach them to respect other people's houses, not to go running around all over the house getting into things. As for getting into the fridge, they can since they're family, but I think it would be different if they're not. I'm sure your daughter eats at their house but I bet she doesn't go looking in their fridge, so I don't think your wrong to do what you did.

Obviously, without a doubt, they are wrong. There are certain disciplines, guidelines and rules that must be followed and these rules may differ from one household to the other. If a certain house environment allows for such activities that you have mentioned above to take freely, it does not directly implies that such activities are allowed at other places or homes too. Let me give you an example, if we land at an airport of some foreign country and we simply try to bypass the security checks without displaying passports (well theoretically speaking because you would need your password at first place to be allowed to fly in an airplane :P) by simply saying that citizens from your countries are taking refugee in my country so I would simply disregard the rules and regulations imposed by your airport security and your country in general. You know such a hypothetical scenario would never work out. In my opinion, these friends of your daughter are truly arrogant and very rude to behave in such a fashion. You have every right to interfere in this regard.

Yes, you are very right, I fully agree with you that it is rude to use something, for which you are required to take permission, irrespective of the relations. It is against the good manners to just open anybody' refrigerator without asking for it. Suppose if one of the friends of my daughter comes and open the fridge without asking, I will consider it rude and will not welcome it. I may be having some items in my fridge, which I do not want others to know. Opening somebody's fridge, almirah or cupboard, with seeking permission is treated as invasion of privacy and no one has any right to invade privacy. We should not forget good manners, even if we are visiting very close relatives. If we show the due courtesy, we are always supported and welcomed with cheers and smiles.

hello thayes, For me, when I am at friends house (though these are really close friends, like i've known them for 7-8 years now, and also with stong bonding relationship :) ) I can go to their house and find something to eat, watch tv, I can even take my shower. but you know, its all about how long have you known the person and how close you are to each other. (though this is to your kids, well, you might just wanna give them a little talk about what to and what not too.)

Good day... If it was a friend or my children's friends and classmates, I wouldn't mind because I want to make them comfortable at my house. If it were an acquaintance then they should show decorum.

The only people that i let into my fridge are my mom, dad and sister. Even when i go to visit my dad, even though i was born and raised in that house, i still show him respect and ask for something to drink or eat. The fact is, i do not live there anymore so therefore it isn't my home. He always tells me and my fiance to help ourselves, but it just doesn't feel right if i was to do that. I even get onto my son if he gets into the fridge without asking. I think it is more how people were raised more than anything. Some people do not care if people come in their home and raid there fridge or cupboards, but as for myself, i do not have the money to support my own and everyone else's family as well. So therefore, i stick with what i said earlier, i feel it is rude if people just come in and go straight to your fridge without asking first. But that is just how i was raised.

Oh no,if they are in your home then they must indeed ask you to take a look in your fridge for food,to not ask is just sooo rude,and also upsetting for you.They are taking advantage of your good nature,and thats not on,so you need to tell them in no uncertain terms that its not going to happen,and if they want food,then they must ask first.

Well yeah I was raised not to do that a well. I never liked going into peoples homes anyway I always felt uncomfortable so blah. But I think what your daughters friend did was very bad. She at least should of ask you. Maybe your daughter told her to get it her self lol ha ha, but yeah I had a friend like that but I usually confront them I don't care but while there in my house they better show some type of respect. So yeah so now they ask ha ha. I'm not mean and I think I did nothing wrong btu I think you did nothing wrong as well your right. :d well yeah take care and keep posting Happy Mylotting, :D