"Love/ Arranged" Marriage...??

I think love marriage is better than arranged marriage, because, in case of love marriage, the two person get the time (not enough) to understand each other,to feel each other and to get the idea about all the likings and dislikings of each other, which help them to make a very good and strong relationship after marriage. it help to make a good understanding betweem them. But in case of arranged marriage, they can get hardly 1 year before marriage.This time is enough for planning the marriage and family planning but not enough to understand each other.

I for one believe that in order to have a successful marriage, both the partners in the relationship should respect one another. Otherwise, be it arranged or love, the marriage without appropriate understanding and affection would fall apart very soon and would meet its ultimate unfortunate demise. Both sorts of marriages have their ups and downs. As for love marriage, if it is just based on hasty and rapid emotions, then it would do any good. These days we sort of wrongly interpret love marriage. The word love has been so incorrectly and overly used in so many instances that sadly it has lost its true meaning. One can have an arranged marry and still, simultaneously, be in love. And a love marriage can easily be arranged :P , get it ? To conclude, the ultimate goal is to have an ongoing, progressive and loving relationship between husband and wife to have a healthy and successful marriage. medicguy

You are very right, that is if it worked out for you-in my country, sometimes parents push arranged marriages down the throats of their children without caring whether they will love each other or not-when parents do this, then I feel it is not right!

I come from the United States of America, and in this country, arranged marriages are something that only foreigner talk about. We believe that marriage should be for love. There are a few people in my family that have had arranged marriages, and they did not work out. In fact, most arranged marriages ended in divorce because the people were just too different to get along. Also, they did not have any love to live on. When you are in love with someone, it is like floating on air, literally. There is something that you can get from the one that you love, that you cannot get from an arranged marriage. When you are in love with someone, it is like the world can just go away. I will compare the love I have with my boyfriend to my cousin's loveless arranged marriage. My boyfriend and I are so in love that we want to make love to each other nearly every single time that we see each other. We cannot get our hands off of each other, but my cousin, who has been married less than I have been with my boyfriend, has little to no feelings towards his wife, and she feels like she is just his servant, she is not in love with him. She is very nice, kind and a hardwork, but my cousin is completely (and I mean "COMPLETELY") opposite of her. How sad is that? My boyfriend and I met naturally, we met at a group meeting at my college, but my cousin picked his wife out of a line of available virgin women. My boyfriend and I had felt those sparks between us, and believe me there were sparks, but my cousin has never felt that. His wife was his first girlfriend. He never had anyone before her. I had dated a lot of men before I met my boyfriend. Some of the dates were the dates from Hell. People need to play the field and find the one that they are going to spend the rest of their lives with, and it should happen naturally. People who have love in their marriages tend to be happier, healthier, and they tend to want to fight for the one that they love. Jealousy is not always a bad thing, that is nature's way of saying that you want the one special person and you do not want anyone else having that person. Love is normal and natural.

i know you will not like my answer,,but still i would say marriage in itself is bad,,it doesn't matter whether it is arranged marriage or love marriage.I don't think if a boy and girl like each other then there is any need to bind them.Do marrying means that they don't have faith in each other? but still i think i have to choose b/w them i would choose love marriage. bye take care peace.

Arranged marriage is what I am looking forward for as I am not cute enough to be loved by some one. So I have to depend on arrange marriage right

For me both are same Arranged marriage is something like when two people start love & understand each other dearfully after their betrothal or after their marriage after knowing each other well ( like their family background etc etc)and for Love marriage it is like two people fall in love for each other and they understanding arises betwixt them even without knowing each other at first and finally getting to know each other ( family background etc), in both cases the love and understanding should work out till the last , if not both is of no use...!!!

It depends on the people involved. If the arranged marriage would cost someone his/her love apart from that arrangement, then a failed marriage might occur. While in love marriage, if the people involved gets into too much emotion, then failure might be seen as well. But if both parties, involves the emotions and the intellect in playing in the love game, the arrangement won't really matter.

Obviously this is a cultural thing and accepted where you are. Being born in the US, I can't imagine someone else picking my partner. And I definitely would not marry because it was arranged. I would want to know that we have more in common than the arrangement.

In my culture we do not have arranged marriages. But I do respect your culture of course of arranged marriages because that is your upbringing and belief system of your people. That is a good thing that your arranged marriage has produced success. Good luck!

i think for many of us westerners, the concept of an arrange marriage is strange and per definition unhappy. I dont agree with the per definition unhappy, but I do feel that you miss out on something with arranged marriages. the falling in love bit... Usually you meet somebody, fall in love, get to know eachother and then love. In an arranged marriage, you are introduced to eachother, get to know eachother and then slowely grow to love eachother. that love might or might not be the same as the one that comes after falling in love, but you still miss out on that exciting step. true, many couples do not survive the fall in love step. because when that rush is gone, often there is nothing left.

It doesn't have to be love or arranged marriage for the marriage to work out. It has to be you and your partner. If you decide to work things out, to make your married life happy it doesn't matter whether it comes form love or from arranged one. I knew some who's marriage failed and yet they vow to love each other on their wedding days. and arranged marriage and yet successful (like yours)

maybe i prefer to love marriage. but sometime love marriage can not get a happy ending.but sometime the arranaged one can!so i do not know what excayly is right!can you tell me ?

IF arranged marriage or not it depends on the two of you to make it work if you understand what you are entering into. When God is the foundation of your marriage it will forever be a love life affair. am happy for you that you re enjoying your marriage life

I met her at my brothers marriage, then after one year on some family occasion.She was known to my sister in law.. She lived far away from our town, before returning, we had a chat.We decided to keep in touch.For next three years ,we did not meet, where in touch only through letters.In those days , internet and cell phones were not at all common.. And then, on the occasion of her brother's marriage, we met again.This time few members of my family were with me.And we got engaged there. Exactly after one year and three days ,we got married.During this year ,we met twice.Today almost 20 years have passed.We are happily married. Now , you have to decide , is this a arranged or love marriage...One thing is sure we are happy with each other. In my opinion, either arranged or by affair, MARRIAGE is a LUCKY DRAW. You are lucky if you get a partner , who understand you, otherwise....?

That is a good question. I always believed that if you were kind to each other, treated each other well and respected each other, that love would come eventually. Many people years ago married and at the time didn't love each other, but they learned to through the years. Regardless of which path is chosen, marriage is a great deal of work.

i think i just have to repeat few of ur words that is even my wedding is an arrange marriage, my husband is really very good , i m vey happy with him n also my family is happy coz i m happy with my husband. now its 3yrs of my marriage n i m a cute little son of 2yrs old. the most favourite thing i like about my husband is he is very understanding n always support me n help me out in all my needs. as u say even i have a few friends who got love marriage even they r happy but sometimes i have also seen other few people with love marriage who r not happy enough n have problems with eachother n i think it can also happen in arrange marriages, n its due to improper understanding between the two orelse it might be caused by another third person. i feel only loving eacthother cant help but also u need to have the capacity of understanding n patience to overcome all problems n live agood fruitful life.

Sometimes, couples in the "love marriage" go into the marriage with smoke in their eyes and are very idealistic with grand expectations from each other. When the truth about daily living assail them, (morning breath instead of fresh breath), they tend to fall apart because their expectations were not met. On the other hand, for "arranged marriages" the couple goes into the marriage with just one expectation - that the husband provides and the woman takes care of the family; so whatever comes after that won't be so disappointing. When the couple discovers the positive traits of each other, they now learn to love each other. This is only one scenario. The other factors are still left for debate.

i feel arranged marriage is gud wen it comes to satisyin our parents...but if u had been in love with some1 else defntly it wont fit u....i wish2 hav a love marriage but the prb is i still hvnt found any

i prefer to choose love marriage. since you know more about your couple that will make you marriage more happiness. i don't have any boyfriend until i was in nineteen i fall in love with my classmate and now we already got an engagement. i decide ti get married after i have finish my study at university. but arrange marriage it good too to make sure you not do anything wrong until you married